Many years ago in the later 80's - around '87 or so - I read a book that struck a chord in me. It was called
The Hero and The Crown by Robin McKinley. It was kind of a fantasy book for young adults/adults. I cherish that book to this day still, along with it's sequel (that came out before it)
The Blue Sword. Though I enjoyed
The Blue Sword better, there are several passages in
The Hero and The Crown that still strike something deep within me. I thought I would share them with you today for no other reason than I have been thinking about this book incessently for the past several hours and can't sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She wondered if she had ever truly not known that Tor loved her, if it were only that she had always feared to love him in return. She was afraid no longer, and the irony of it was that Luthe had taught her not to be afraid, and that it was her love for Luthe that made her recognize her love for Tor.*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She did not mount at once but turned back to Luthe, and he held out his arms, and she rushed into them. He sighed and her own breast rose and fell against his. "I have put you on a horse - that same horse - and watched you ride away before. I thought I should never get over it that first time. I think I followed you for that. Not for any desire to help you save Damar; only to pick up whatever pieces Agsded might have left of you. ...I know I shall never get over it this time. If you do it, someday, a third time, it will probably kill me." Aerin tried to smile but Luthe stopped her with a kiss. "Go now. A quick death is best, I believe."
"You can't scare me," Aerin said, almost suceeding in keeping her voice level. "You told me long ago that you aren't mortal."
"I never said I couldn't be killed," replied Luthe. "If you wish to chop logic with me, my dearest love, you must make sure of your premises."
"I shall practice them - while - I shall practice, that I may dazzle you when next we meet."
There was a little silence, and Luthe said, "You need not try to dazzle me."
"I must go," Aerin said hopelessly, and flung herself at Talat just as she had done once before. "I will see you again."
Luthe nodded.
She almost could not say the words: "But it will be a long time - long and long."
Luthe nodded again.
"But we shall meet?"
Luthe nodded a third time.
"Gods of all the worlds, say something," she cried, and Talat startled beneath her.
I love you", said Luthe. "I will love you till the stars crumble, which is a less idle threat than is usual to lovers on parting. Go quickly, for truly I can not bear this."
She closed her legs violently around the nervous Talat, and he leaped into a gallop. Long after Aerin was out of sight, Luthe lay full length upon the ground and pressed his ear to it, and listened to Talat's hoofbeats carrying Aerin farther and farther away.*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tor had been king less than three years when he was first called the Just, for the even-handedness of his wisdom; a wisdom, they said, that was never cold, and that sat strangely in the eyes of one not yet forty. Aerin knew where some of that old wisdom came from, for she had first seen it the afternoon that he had told her she should be queen, had asked her to marry him; the same afternoon that he had not asked her about Luthe. She hoped that she might never be careless of Tor's feelings. Tor, who had been her best friend all her life, and sometimes her only friend. Perhaps the memory of the reek of Maur's despair made her a little forgetful too, for she began to think of the wide silver lake as a place she had visited only in dreams, and of the tall blonde man she had once known as a creature of those dreams; for the not quite mortal part of her did sleep, that she might love her country and her husband.
The End*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I guess being enamoured of romance and love for as long as I can remember might have something to do with the reason this story resonated with me then and still does to this day. Two wonderful men who the heroine of the story loved desperately, but had to make a choice between a) the kind of love one finds with their soul mate and turning her back on all she knew
or b) in the knowledge of that soul mate love being able to recognize and realize the deep love she shared with the person who had always been by her side, and in doing so, turned her back on the soul mate love to be the woman she was meant to be all along with the one she was destined to love and build a life with.
I wrote my first romances in starting in the late 80's in High School for friends who wanted to star in a romance with the crush of their choice or boyfriend in various locations from a window-walled suite overlooking the lights of the city to being surrounded by snow while in a large log cabin in the mountains with a roaring fire and a bear-skinned rug. Yes, I created customized romances back then for others. Detailed romances that shared much, but left off at the right moment to let their imagination take over. I never wrote sex back then. Just the suggestion of leading up to it. I had many repeat customers. Hmmmm, that makes me sound like a tawdry tart doesn't it? I wrote for sheer enjoyment back then and never charged anyone. I reveled in the power of flexing my brain and imagination and coming up with different scenarios. These days I write only for myself. I don't really care about what other people want in my writing. If it makes me happy, that's what matters to me. If other's happen to enjoy it, well, that's just a bonus. And if I ever get published, that will be the icing on the cake with the cherry on top: to get paid for what I love doing most, other than being with my family.
Good night, or good morning, as the case is.
Oh, today's FFT will be to a couple of fun places. Get ready to enjoy them later.
Nic out.
2 comments:
You said:
"These days I write only for myself. I don't really care about what other people want in my writing."
I've often wondered how anyone can actually write, for anyone else? I've tried, but every time I get a writing 'assignment' it's a labor, an effort. Not so when it's for *me*, then the words flow, from where I really don't know, but they're in there!
I just recently remembered this book again and realized that I loved the same passages you did, for the same reason. I used to write little romance fics with a best friend in middle school, too, and then went on to just write for myself. But I found that when I would write stories for my friend, I was really writing with myself in mind.
Anyhow, those passages with Aerin and Luthe, I thought, were heart wrenching. :)
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