2013: My life in review

2 days left in 2013. WOW! Where has the time gone? More importantly, what did you learn in this year? For me, from the very start - the first weekend of 2013, in fact - it has been an incredible year of changes and growth. Both for the better. I am not the same person leaving this year as I was coming into it, and for that I am very thankful.

I have made incredible friends for life, some of whom I've only met once or a handful of times, but the blessing of the internet is that we can keep up daily across the miles. Some whom I reconnected with, whether online or in person. Friends who are of a like mind, friends who encourage, support and speak life over others. Friends who have prayed for and over me. Friends who have listened and encouraged the growth in my life, and have been part of the catalyst of that growth.

One of the biggest changes - and best - is becoming a work from home mom. Being able to be there for my kids has made all the difference in the home atmosphere regarding attitude. It has been a tremendous blessing! The biggest one. It has helped me to become closer to them in ways I couldn't have imagined prior to working at stressful 45+ hour work week elsewhere. It has deepened my relationship with them as I am able to be there for celebrations and parties, milestones and games. To pick Em up "early" - now meaning as soon as school ends - and stay late with Nate when I drop him off.

I am thankful for the incredible spiritual truths that have been brought to me this past year. Truths that have opened my eyes and changed my life. Thankful for an amazing group of women who have seen the transformation in my life and have believed in and encouraged me and spoken life and truth over me. Not a day goes by where I and my family aren't thankful for their existence in my life and the truths that have been so much of the catalyst for the change in me.

I still have much to work on, but then again, we are all works in progress, are we not?

I am excited for what 2014 has to offer, because as good as 2013 has been, it can and will be better. 2014 will be a year of many dreams and accomplishments realized, goals reached and milestones crossed off my list. It will be a year of even deeper spiritual growth and understanding and I know it will be a year of blessings and wonderful surprises because God has never failed me or let me down and He won't start now. I have promises from Him that will come in His timing. Not mine.

That's been probably one of the biggest lessons for me is to be patient and wait. Psalms 27:14 says it very well. "Wait on the Lord, be strong and He will strengthen your heart. Wait on the Lord." Jeremiah 29:11 says it even better. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." If God has great plans for me and if I follow the path He has laid out for me, if I put my WHOLE trust in Him and let Him lead, instead of trying to make Him follow, how can I go wrong?

So, leaving 2013 behind soon and coming into 2014 with great expectations and beliefs about what will happen has me looking forward to this coming year with GREAT anticipation, joy and excitement! I look forward to being a better and stronger mother, daughter, friend, person, leader and Christian. 2014 is a new year, a new beginning, a new page on which I will write victories, goals, joys and dreams realized! Happy New Year to you all and may your 2014 far exceed and outshine your 2013!

Little Eyes Are Watching You

Parents, what are you teaching your children? 

I mean seriously.

• "Too lazy to work" is NOT acceptable for the description under "worked at". They will look for the easy way and expect to get the success without the effort. That is so far from reality it's laughable.
• Skimpy clothing/bathing suits on children is the playground for pedophile's minds - and it's almost always someone that the child knows, adult or their peer, who molests them - trust me on this, I know this from personal experience. 
• Dropping the "F" bomb every other word will get more doors shut in their faces for GOOD opportunities than almost anything else. It's so unattractive and, regardless of their intelligence level, shows that they are anything but. 
• Disrespecting those in authority, your elders, those who are different than you, yourself...your spouse...will teach them to put themselves first instead of looking out for others, could land them in hot water with law enforcement, have them in and out of relationships and marriages because they expect to always be right and heaven help anyone who disagrees with them so POOF...divorce makes it "easy", and they will have the same issues with each relationship. So many parents talk to their children with disrespect. You are not dealing with an inconvenience, you are raising a human being who needs your love, your protection and your respect.

There are so many more but those are the ones I see online on Facebook and witness in person day in and day out. We teach our children what we are by our actions. Not by what we say; though what we say can break spirits and hearts. Your words have power, especially with your children, so use them wisely. Respond to your children. Don't react to them. That can shut them off to you faster than snapping your finger. Proverbs 15:1 says a gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. This is true for all ages. I don't know about you, but I like my house peaceful and not full of stress and strife.

It is always, always, always better to HAVE character than to BE a character. Proverbs 22:1 states that it is better to have a good name than to be rich and to have respect is better than having gold and silver. There are people that you know that when you think of them, of their behavior, even of their name you don't think very favorably of them, if the truth were to be told - even though you might consider them a "friend".

What happened to the good old days of teaching your children the values of respecting yourself and others - because if they truly respected themselves they wouldn't wear a lot of what they do (just sayin'), hard work, integrity, modesty, kindness to others, everything in moderation, honor and so on? When did those fall by the wayside and become "old fashioned" values? Those values NEVER go out of style!

You are their PARENT FIRST and their friend second. If they don't like that you discipline them now, they'll get over it later because they'll remember the lessons learned from it. I did. I hated it at the time, but I learned from it. Children NEED rules and boundaries. Why? Because it shows them that you care! If you let them get away with anything and everything, they will get into bigger troubles to try and get your attention to show them that you actually care for them. Go figure! Sounds crazy but studies have shown it to be true! Correct and appropriate discipline is a GOOD thing! But never discipline in anger. Again, that is the reactionary side of things. Respond. Don't react.

Another thing, don't talk down to them! The world is treating and talking to our children like they have PhD's and we still talk to them like they're in pre-school. Would you rather they find out about things like sex and STDs and drugs and drinking from their friends first or from you first? Young children don't need the details, just the basics satisfy them. As they get older you can answer with more. But if you are too embarrassed to talk to them about those things and the consequences, you can bet that their friends won't be and they won't be talking about the consequences. Be wise. Be a parent. Give them a reason to be able to trust coming to you with these questions. DON'T REACT! Respond.

Yes, I know I have been saying that a lot here, but it is TRUE! Responding gives them a safe atmosphere where they are comfortable talking to you. Reacting shuts them down and makes them think, "I can never come to her/him with anything because, WHOA!" And they check out.

Be the parent you want your children to be. They do what you DO, not what you say, no matter how many times we wish it were otherwise. But, if you are the person you need to be, then you won't have to wish it were the other way around.

Be ATTENTIVE to your children! Don't check out. The phone, the computer, your work, your friends...NONE of them are more important than your child. Spend time with them. Let them know that they matter to you. Children spell L-O-V-E as T-I-M-E. Don't be afraid to get silly with them. They love it and they'll love you all the more for it. It's hot, you're sweaty, it's raining, you're hair is frizzing? Suck. It. Up. They're only young once and time flies so don't blink or you'll soon had a tween or teen who doesn't want to spend time with you and you'll have lost out. Again, spend TIME with them, or you will find as they grow they don't have time for you.

It makes my heart hurt to hear and see what kids are doing and behaving like these days and I thank God every day that Emily and Nate are far different from most of what I see out there today. It's times like this that I really do miss Mayberry. I miss the values so clearly portrayed in that show. I wish that they were still the focal values in society today. I think we would be a whole lot better off if they were.