Wise Words

"Wait on the Lord, be strong and of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart...wait on the Lord. Psalms 27:14


WWW As My World Turns

Monday, April 30, 2007

When it rains it pours

It seems like when it rains it pours and lately it's been flooding. I found out last week Monday that I was one of 10 people not chosen to interview for transition to the companies that took over the major contract that we lost on that re-compete bid last year so I may be jobless on September 1, and I don't know if my work wants to keep me around or if I'm going to have to look for another job. It's scary as heck for me right now even though it is in God's hands. I haven't had child support from my ex since September and there are all these expenses associated with Emily's tuition, etc., though I can't withhold him from seeing her or I can get thrown in jail for contempt of court decree but the courts can't force him to get a job to pay child support so right now he gets all of the benefits and none of the responsibilities and that is really weighing on me.

Emily was really sick last week with viral tonsilitis and a fever of 104 for 3 days, but b/c it was viral there were no meds that they could give her and it just had to run its course so every day I was up with her around 4-4:30 b/c she was waking up at that time b/c her throat hurt her so bad – let me tell you, I'm exhausted today still from last week. And then on Friday something happend and my feelings about it are kinda petty but it really got to me. On Wednesday or Thursday one guy here asked the lead admin to go to lunch, which he does on a regular basis and that's fine, and then b/c they were standing right where the receptionist was, they asked her if she wanted to go too, I was standing right around the corner checking the fax machine and I walked up and not a word was mentioned to me. So then, not only was I NOT asked to go to lunch, I was also asked to cover for them while they went b/c the admin across the hall couldn't cover - so they had no intention of asking me in the first place, even if the person across the hall could have covered. I ended up getting a message and having to leave for the day and was glad to do so b/c I was about to snap and it was getting really difficult to hold my tongue. It's been going on like this for a few weeks now. Not these things in particular, but just little things that seem to really get under my skin.

Not only that but I was called last week by my insurance b/c the girl from the last post was filing an injury claim – I mean come ON! And then yesterday I was with my mom and Emily getting soil for my mom's plants and I either got stung or bit twice by something right on the crease where my rear meets my leg. It stung like FIRE, though curiously there is no real redness or bite marks, but every now and then I feel a bit of discomfort going down my right hamstring from the bite site and it really burns when something warm brushes up against it. Suckage. Seriously.

When it rains, it pours and I feel like I just want to cry, but I won't b/c that's not me. I'm the one who just sucks it up and pushes on, putting one foot in front of the other, but I'd really like to take a break. Have everything going really ok in my life with no work/life stress, no bickering, no worrying about money and how am I going to keep making ends meet, have someone for once who was afraid of losing me, who was happy to see me and who felt blessed that I was in their life. Is that too much to ask? Sometimes I feel like it is b/c I've been asking and I haven't seen anything yet. SIGH...

Yup, it's another Monday. :-P

Monday, April 23, 2007

Mixed bag Monday's weekend report

Holy mother of pearl! I am so unbelievably sore today. They say the 2nd day after an intense workout is always the worst if you're not used to it. Saturday I took a 3 hour women's self-defense class in Krav Maga and I'm STILL sore in places that I didn't know I had muscles. Krav Maga (Hebrew קרב מגע: "contact combat") is a self-defense and military hand-to-hand combat system developed in Israel. It came to prominence following its adoption by various Israeli Security Forces and is now used by military and law enforcement personnel, as well as civilians, around the world. Needless to say, it rocked and I am now signed up and going to be taking classes over the next 12 months (or more) in it. Highly physical, highly FUN!

To give you a brief overview of Krav Maga:

In Krav Maga, there are no hard-and-fast rules. It is not a sport, and there are no competitions. All the techniques focus on maximum efficiency in real-life conditions. Krav Maga generally assumes a "no quarter" situation; the attacks and defenses are intended to inflict the most pain possible on the opponent in the least amount of time. Groin strikes, headbutts, and other efficient and potentially brutal attacks are emphasized.

The guiding principles for those performing Krav Maga techniques are:
  • neutralize the threat
  • avoid injury
  • go from defending to attacking as quickly as possible
  • use the body's natural reflexes
  • strike at any vulnerable point
  • use any tool or object nearby

    The basic idea is to first deal with the immediate threat (being choked, for example), prevent the attacker from re-attacking, and then neutralize the attacker, proceeding through all steps in a straightforward manner, despite the rush of adrenaline that occurs in such an attack. The emphasis is put on taking the initiative from the attacker as soon as possible.


    Although Krav Maga shares many techniques with other martial arts, such as Boxing, Savate and Muay Thai (for the punches, kicks, elbows, and knees) or Jujutsu, Judo and Wrestling (for the grappling and disarming techniques), the training is often quite different. It stresses fighting under worst-case conditions or from disadvantaged positions (for example, against several opponents, when protecting someone else, with one arm unusable, when dizzy, or against armed opponents).

    Training in Krav Maga is an aerobic workout, and relies heavily on pads. Students take turns holding pads and doing combatives against the pads. This is important because it allows the student to practice the technique at full strength, and the student holding the pad learns a little of the impact they'd feel when they get hit. It can be almost as taxing to hold a pad as to practice against one. Some schools incorporate "Strike and Fight," which consists of full-contact sparring intended to familiarize the student with the stresses of a violent situation.

    Training may employ a speaker system blasting loud music, stroboscope and/or fog machine, meant to train the student to ignore peripheral distractions and focus on causing as much damage as possible. Training might also contain ways to deal with situations which could end in fights. Physical and verbal methods to avoid violence whenever possible are taught.

    A typical Krav Maga session in a civilian school is about an hour long and mixes aerobic training with self-defense teaching. As levels increase, the instructors focus a little less on aerobic training and slightly more on combatives. First, the instructor will run a very intense drill to get the class's heart rates up. Then, after stretching, the instructor will teach two or three self-defense techniques. In the beginning the techniques will either be combatives (punches, hammer-fists, elbows, knees and roundhouse kicks, for example – we actually went through the basics in all of these in class) or grappling (breaking out of chokes or wrist-grabs, getting out from under an opponent while on one's back). After that, the class usually moves to a drill that combines the techniques just taught with an aerobic technique. Finally, there is the final drill intended to burn out the students. Depending on the class - and on the instructor's mood - this drill may be at the very beginning or at the end of the class.

    I had to slip out a little early to shower and change because I had to be at a friend's BBQ that was quite a drive by 2:00. This guy is my best friend's ex. We've known him both the same time as we all used to work together. They still are very good friends and we all do stuff from time to time together. Anyway, he makes the BEST sangria so a good time was had by all with BBQ and horseshoes and music and I learned a really cool dice game – had never played it before – I won 3 out of the 4 times we played. Soundly smacked the guys too!

    After, I went home, changed and went out dancing and that is where the downside of the mixed bag happened. (Yes, Em was with her dad this weekend).

    On my way to the dance place (C&W) I was stopped at a stoplight not 500 or so feet from the driveway entrance to the place and I was looking in my purse for some lipstick and my foot slipped off the brake and I just barely nudged the car in front of me. We get out and I can tell that she could be trouble. Great – just what I need.

    Before she even has looked at the vehicles she gets on the phone and is all:

    Her: "Yes, I need the police. Someone just slammed into the back of me."
    Me: "Are you SERIOUS?"
    Her: (to me, but into the phone) "Ma'am, please don't yell at me"
    Me: "Honey, if I were yelling at you, believe me, you'd know it"
    Her: (Into the phone) "Yes, I was in an accident last month and my back is still hurting…yes, please send someone."
    Me: (Rolling my eyes)

    Miscellaneous chatter between her and me and her and the phone ensues. So we pulled into the parking lot and wait and we hear all sorts of sirens. By this time she's getting a little freaked out.

    Her: (looking extremely concerned/worried now that she hears the ambulance sirens) "I didn't ask her to have the ambulance come. I'm fine, I don't know why she sent them."
    Me: (left eyebrow cocked) "Honey, I heard your conversation. You may not have specifically SAID the words 'send an ambulance' but when you're telling her that 'someone SLAMMED into the back of you' and that 'you had been in an accident the previous month and your back was still hurting' oh and to 'please send someone' what do you think she is going to do? Hmmmmm?"
    Her: "I'm fine, I'm fine"
    Me: "Well, you might want to tell the EMT's AND the firemen that b/c, well, it looks like she just sent out the cavalry"
    Her: (Soon as the EMT's get out of the ambulance) "I'm fine, I don't need anything. I don't know why she called you guys out here (meaning the dispatcher)."
    EMT: "So, you don't want to be checked out then?"
    Her: "No, I'm fine, I'm fine. You don't need to be here."
    EMT: "Then you'll have no problem signing the waiver [refused to be seen]"
    Her: "Yeah, I'll sign it"

    They ask me to sign it too. By now, they're waiving off the firetruck that showed up, and 3 cop cars are pulling up.

    Cops to EMT's: "Everything ok?"
    EMT: "Yeah, she refused to be checked out"
    Cop: "Got the paper signed"
    EMT: "Yup. We're outta here."

    So we go about doing the whole information on what happened, etc. and ALL 3 cops thought it was rather stupid. No damage on either vehicle. Her vehicle was "supposedly" a rental car, which was extremely dirty and dusty and had an expired temporary tag in the rear window. I'm chatting with the cops as they're checking out the vehicle, getting along just fine with them. She is acting rather put out by the whole thing.

    Cop: (I overheard one say this to the other two) "The dirt on her [other girl] back bumper isn't even disturbed. This is ridiculous."
    Cop: (To me) "If it were up to me, to us, we'd let it go, but it was called in and reported so I'm going to have to give you a citation for failure to maintain assured distance."
    Me: "Yeah, I understand"

    So then the gist of it is, the other girl, being kind of stand-offish to the cops, me being nice and talking with them, well, the cops pretty much said "take it to court, we won't be there". Yeah, thank you very much. I'd rather take it to court and get it dismissed than pay the 163.00 fine PLUS take a defensive driving course. First time in probably 7 years I would have had to take one if I don't go to court. UGH!

    I ended up going out and having a GRAND time. Danced a lot – it's nice to know a lot of guys who two-step instead of going out and just standing there – which has happened over the past couple of years.

    Now I just have to find a way to keep from charlie-horsing and cramping up all over the place so that I can move without looking like an old woman.

    Happy Monday – SIGH!
  • Wednesday, April 18, 2007


    Yes, it is the return of the HDQ. The Humpy Day Question. My answer to the question comes in a different format. I found these GREAT little icons while searching for fun stuff to put on my MySpace page. They are the "Secrets of Women". Amazingly enough I FIT most of the statements really well. I saw myself in them. So, here are the statements:

    The Secrets of Women

    myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics
    myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics
    myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics
    myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics

    Now, here is the HDQ. What "secret" [like the above] describes you? In other words, if you had to make one of those little icons, what "secret" about yourself would you put on one?

    Tuesday, April 17, 2007

    Truthful Tuesday

    Ok, so I haven't done one of these things in a while but wanted to get some opinions/advice from my blogfriends.

    You see, I have a friend. A guy friend. He's, well, he's my best guy friend. Kind of the male counterpart to MC, however he lives 3 states away in near my very favorite city. He is in his early 40's so there are a few years between us. He is unbelievably good looking with a nice physique. Former military/MP. Genuinely, truly nice and a good man. I can talk to this man unlike any man I've ever really been able to talk to. Frank, direct and honest. Literally no holds barred in our conversations, no secrets, no lies, and as scary as that is sometimes for me to open myself up like that it is really, really a nice thing to have that kind of trust in someone of the opposite sex – especially for me who wants to trust others but 99.9% of the time ends up getting burned at some point when I do let someone in.

    We met in person last year through mutual friends here in Texas but really started talking via email at the beginning of this year. In many ways we are so very similar and in many ways we are so opposite that if we were to stand on each end of the spectrum, I doubt that we could see each other.

    Here's the thing. We acknowledged over the weekend, in a round about way, that there was a pretty good (read: HOT) physical attraction there between us. But, he is all wrong for me in so many ways and we also mutually agreed over the weekend that we know that if anything were to happen between us that it would most likely ruin our friendship and that is a bridge that neither one of us are willing to cross/burn. I enjoy having him in my life as a friend and refuse to risk it and he feels the same.

    The other thing is that he is a rather troubled soul at times. He's a Christian, of that there is no doubt, but he struggles a lot with...things, drinks much more than he should (not all the time but when he does drink he usually doesn't stop until he's snockered off his rocker – let me tell you, those emails are interesting), is stubborn when he sets his mind on something that would put a donkey to shame (usually when he's been drinking), he has a...difficult...family, to put it delicately, is twice divorced, has two teen sons, one who is rather troubled himself, and he says things in the heat of the moment that can't be taken back and can be very hurtful. He knows he's a good guy at the heart of it but I think he really has a tough time believing it and in himself – he would say that he doesn't have a problem with that, but his actions speak otherwise. He does some really stupid things sometimes that make me want to get in his face and say "WISE UP! GROW UP! SNAP OUT OF IT!" b/c I truly care about what he is doing to himself and yet, I know if I did he would really be wounded, though he wouldn't admit it, just pull away, his ego/pride/self stung.

    I care deeply about him as anyone would care about their best friend and what issues they are going through.

    So, question for you – How do I approach him about his self-destructive behaviors without soundly pissing him off or is there no way around it?

    I can't write to him like I normally do b/c he gets frustrated by my "wordiness" and usually ends up missing the point in the first place b/c he's more focused on his frustration. He needs to hear it in "guy speak" – so to speak.


    Friday, April 13, 2007

    Friday's Feast

    Today's FFT is a place that I just literally came upon a few minutes ago. It's pretty funny, really. Caress Body Wash has these "new" fairy tales narrated by the gorgeous Kate Walsh from my favorite show - Grey's Anatomy. They only have 2 up so far but the first one about Beauty and the beast is really quite humorous. Anyway, Go check it out for a little mindless fun!

    Caress Fairy Tales

    Now on with the short Friday's Feast this week.

    When you were a child, which crayon color was your favorite?

    Gold and Silver had special places in my heart

    On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest), how likely would you be to change jobs if it required you to move?


    Take all the numbers in your birthday and your phone number and add them up, one by one. What’s the total?


    Main Course
    Have you ever “re-gifted” anything? If so, what was it and who did you pass it on to?

    Can't say that I have

    Name something you need from the store.

    Nothing I NEED right now, but plenty of things that I want and which store are we talking about?

    Tuesday, April 10, 2007

    400: The SitRep

    Well, today is my 400th post. It is also the 1 year anniversary of my divorce. Many of you have followed my progress before then and since then. The heartbreak, the heartache, the frustrations, the growth, the family, the friends, the gratitude and so forth and so on. I confess that lately it seems wearying to write about my life and the posts have been pretty non-personal other than the Friday's Feast and the memes. Pretty much since not much is going on right now other than it's busy. A friend of mine in Iraq – no, not Dan, another friend – calls times like this NSTR, a term they use in the military. NSTR = Nothing Significant To Report. I like that term. It means that things are pretty much on an even keel right now, and that's a good thing. Status quo is good sometimes. A breather, a break from the extreme ups and downs is good. So, what is this NSTR in my life then? How are things really? Steady. Surprisingly normal. And yet, I find myself with very little time to myself.

    It actually sleeted pretty hard around the Austin area for Easter weekend. I think that's a first. About an hour or so Northwest of Austin it snowed – hard. Now I can see this happening in the North, Northeast, Midwest and Mountain regions, but not the South – or at least not as far South as Austin is. It amazes me about Texas weather. Sunday morning we can be at the freezing point (literally) and by tomorrow it could reach almost 90. You know the old saying – if you don't like Texas weather, just wait a few minutes and it'll change. Well, except from late July – September. Then it's pretty much just HOT, humid and gross.

    Work is busier than a tissue factory in the middle of allergy season. Still uncertain.

    Emily is good. She had tubes in her ears on the 30th of March and is doing just fine. Still hearing well. Ears are draining – still. There was a lot of gunk in them.

    Me? Well, I'm doing pretty good. Decided to try and dip my foot in the dating pool again and am corresponding with someone who seems really nice so far but it's just the very, very, very beginning, the very start of the "getting to know you" kind of thing so the undecided is still there. He doesn't live near Austin but at least he is in the state of Texas this time. LOL! MC calls me a chicken and scared, though I prefer to think that I'm just very picky. I know what I want and I won't settle for less this time around. She's probably just a little bit right as well. I'm scared to get back in and get my heart battered and bruised again. I've had enough of that in my life and I don't want anymore. Hopefully I'll find someone who won't put me through so much of that. We'll see.

    I've been working with my dear friend Jack Kinsella of the Omega Letter as his Road Tour coordinator. It's pro-bono, it's super busy, it's extremely rewarding. I am the person that everyone who wants to have Jack speak at their church or event between May and September goes to in order to get on the schedule. I have created a travel itinerary so that he and his lovely wife aren't being pulled in several directions at once and it seems to be working well so far. I tell him where to go, who he's meeting with and when to be there and he's there. I might post more about it later, but suffice it to say, I really enjoy doing this! It is fulfilling in a different kind of way altogether! :-)

    The X? Well, he and I have found some sort of middle ground. He still frustrates me sometimes and angers me at others, but for the most part it's pretty steady and I think we've started to move past the past and that's a good thing. We have a shared past, we have had a shared love, we have a daughter. It's time to move on and co-parent as best as we can. Admittedly it's easier to forgive him because of that past that we've shared. (Notice I said him) It's a good thing. Finally.

    So, we'll see what happens next in my life over the next 100 posts. Hopefully things will start to go up instead of stay status quo. I'm ready for a change of some sort in my life for the better. Hopefully this will be the year that happens. It's time.

    Oh, before I forget, a HUGE congrats goes out to one of my very dearest blogfriends Captain Picard who is also celebrating his 400th post. Please go over and tell him congrats too!

    Happy 400 to me. Happy "divorceaversary" today as well. Actually, not so happy, but that's the way the dice rolls, the cookie crumbles and so forth. As I said, it's time to move on to the future – instead of living in the past.

    Sunday, April 08, 2007


    This week Christians everywhere acknowledge a pivotal point in history that literally affects EVERYONE! That event is the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

    "He is not here, but He is risen" (verse 6) are words that matter eternally. If they are a lie, humanity has no hope after this life. If they are the truth, rejecting the Risen Lord Jesus Christ has eternal consequences. "He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life" (I John 5:12).

    Paul said (I Corinthians 15:14) "and if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is vain, your faith also is vain."

    Many things we believe and do daily matter little. But the Resurrection is eternally important.

    The bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead is the crowning proof of Christianity. Everything else that was said or done by Christ and the Apostles, no matter how great or marvelous, is secondary to the Resurrection in importance. If the Resurrection did not take place, then Christianity is a false religion. If it did take place, then Christ is God and the Christian faith is absolute truth.

    Death is man’s greatest enemy, and it has conquered all men but Christ. No matter how brilliant or rich or strong he may be, no man is wise enough to outwit death or wealthy enough to purchase freedom from death or strong enough to vanquish death. The grave always wins the victory, and man sooner or later returns to the dust.

    In fact, the inexorable triumph of death applies not only to man, but to all things. Animals die and plants die, and even whole species atrophy and become extinct. Cities and nations, like people, are born and grow for a season, and then fade away. Homes and automobiles and clothes wear out and must eventually go back to the dust, just as do their owners. Even the universe itself is running down and heading toward an ultimate “heat death.”

    This universal reign of decay and death is called in the Bible the “bondage to decay” (Romans 8:21). In science it has come to be recognized as the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Also known as the Law of Increasing Entropy, this Second Law is now recognized as a universal law in science, with no known exception ever observed. It says, quite simply, that every system tends to become disordered, to run down and eventually die. Its entropy, which is a measure of disorder, always tends to increase.

    The universality of the reign of decay and death is the measure of the absolute uniqueness of the resurrection of Christ. All other men, even the greatest men and the holiest men, have died. Buddha, Mohammed, Zoroaster, Confucius, Caesar, Marx—men who made a profound impact on the world in one way or another—are all dead.

    But Jesus Christ is alive! It is true that He died and was buried, in common with all other men, but unlike other men He returned from Hades, resurrected His own dead body, made it henceforth immortal, and emerged from the tomb, alive forevermore! This was the greatest of all miracles, and could have been accomplished only if Jesus indeed is God, as He had claimed to be.

    If all this is somehow a delusion and if Jesus of Nazareth did not really rise from the dead, then He is no different from other great men who are also dead. He is worse than they, in fact, because He is thereby branded as either a charlatan or a madman, since He staked all His claims to absolute deity on His promise to return from the dead.

    On the other hand, if the Resurrection is really a demonstrable fact of history, then not only are His claims vindicated, but so are His promises. Death is not, after all, the great victor but is a defeated foe. He has “caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” (1 Peter 1:3). “But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, … so also in Christ shall all be made alive” (1 Corinthians 15:20, 22), as the “firstborn of the dead . . . and behold, I am alive forevermore” (Revelation 1:5, 18).*

    Dead in our sins, we have only one hope for new life: by trusting in Jesus Christ and relying on His death and resurrection for our salvation. No other spiritual leader has ever conquered death; Jesus is the unique Son of God. He is “the way, and the truth, and the life” (John 14:6), and “whoever believes in [Him], though he die, yet shall he live” (John 11:25).

    What difference does the Resurrection make in your life today?

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    Happy Resurrection Day!

    Friday, April 06, 2007

    Good Friday Ponderances

    Today we have quite a few things to discuss so I'll get the more fun part out of the way before we get to the serious part of it.

    What else could I do for today’s FFT on this Good Friday – the day of the Crucifixion of Christ – than take you to some great flash presentations about Jesus including some presentations about the Resurrection?

    I hope you enjoy these presentations and that you get something from them as I have. May the hope that is with those who believe in the Risen Savior be with you today and always.

    Hebrew: Shalom uv'racha Aleichem!
    English: Peace and blessings be upon you.

    Hebrew: Baruch atah Adonai Elohaynu, Melech ha olam. Baruch Shem Kivod Malchuto leolam va'ed
    English: Blessed are You Lord Our God, King of the world. Blessed be His Glorious Name Whose Kingdom is Forever and Ever.

    The Crucifixion – Jesus Loves You

    The Resurrection – Our Blessed Hope

    The Father’s Love Letter to You

    Can You Imagine?

    The Original Interview With God

    Interview With God Part II

    Interview With God Special Edition

    Friday's Feast:

    When you travel, which mode of transportation do you prefer?

    I LOVE to fly. Get me by the window seat baby and let's take off!

    Have you ever met a blogging friend in person?

    Not yet.

    When was the last time you were really, really tired?


    Main Course
    If you could have dinner with any one fictional character from a book or movie, who would it be?

    Wow, tall order. Hmmmmm, I think I wouldn't mind being a "Bond girl". LOL! Actually, I'm not really sure. There are too many to choose from and I don't have a particular one that stands out.

    Fill in the blank: One day, I hope to see _______________.

    One day, I hope to see a guy who's perfect, just for me. Well, really, that line came from a poem I remember from my youth. I would say my Savior and the Godly people of the Bible, but I know that will happen and not just "hope" it will. So, here is my FINAL answer: One day, I hope to see Ireland and Scotland – for an extended trip to explore all the little places, pubs, hills, music...

    Now, we get to the serious part. My prayer is that somewhere, someone out there finally "gets" it. This is Good Friday - the day that Christ was Crucified for you and me, for the whole world, for sinners. My thanks to my dear friend, Jack Kinsella, of the Omega Letter for the article below.

    Special Report: What's So Good About "Good Friday"?

    According to Christian tradition, the Friday before Easter is called "Good Friday" because it is the day that Jesus Christ was crucified. GOOD Friday?

    I can recall as a kid growing up in a Catholic school thinking it more than a little strange that all those nuns said they loved Jesus, but celebrated the day of His execution as a "Good" day.

    Indeed, as a kid, I thought the designation "Good Friday" was evidence that they really didn't LIKE Him very much, despite their protestations of love. My mother had passed away when I was only ten. I didn't think that the day that she died was a 'good' day for me.

    There are lots of possible reasons why the day of Jesus' Crucifixion is designated "Good" in English. One is that the word 'good' was derived from the word "God".

    Our word 'goodbye' came from the phrase "God be with you," so, according to that line of thinking, "Good Friday" would have originated from the phrase "God's Friday."

    But I think it is less a case of the metamorphosis of language than it is an apt description of the Event that took place on that Friday before Passover two thousand years ago.

    The execution of Jesus Christ was an event of incredible evil. He was guilty of no infraction, violated no laws, either Mosaic or Roman civil, and His betrayal was orchestrated, the Bible says, by Satan himself.

    "And after the sop Satan entered into him [Judas]. Then said Jesus unto him, That thou doest, do quickly." (John 13:27)

    But while the crucifixion of Jesus Christ was an act of unspeakable evil, it was a necessary part of God's Plan for the redemption of our sin debt.

    And the manner in which He accomplished was a demonstration of His Power over good and evil, using pure evil to bring about pure good.

    "Which none of the princes of this world knew: for had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory." (1st Corinthians 2:8)

    But why was Good Friday necessary? We've gone over this before, but not in several years. Good Friday is the perfect day to revisit the topic. Why did Jesus have to die?

    Why, indeed, if Jesus was God, did He have to die? To the skeptic, the whole Cross, Blood and death thing doesn't make any sense. I know many Christians to whom the answer is simply, "So He could be resurrected on the third day."

    That was never a satisfactory answer when I was a skeptic, either.

    The Scripture says God's Justice demands a sacrifice, but for most Christians contending with the skeptic, that answer is unsatisfactory.

    The explanation that only a sinless man was qualified to take on the sins of the world makes sense, but it doesn't answer the nuts-and-bolts question of why He had to die. Not fully.

    The answer to the nuts-and-bolts legalities is found, not in the New Testament, but rather in the Old.

    In Genesis Chapter 15, we find Abram questioning God's promise that his seed will be numbered as the stars of heaven and that they would inherit the land to which God had led him.

    Genesis 15:6 says "And he believed in the LORD; and he counted it to him for righteousness."
    But Abram wanted a guarantee, nonetheless.

    "And he [Abram] said, LORD God, whereby shall I know that I shall inherit it?" (15:8)

    It was then that God proposed a blood covenant after the manner of the Chaldeans. "And he [God] said unto him, [Abram] Take me an heifer of three years old, and a she goat of three years old, and a ram of three years old, and a turtledove, and a young pigeon."

    Abram knew what to do next. A Chaldean himself, this was something he was familiar with.
    "And he took unto him all these, and divided them in the midst, and laid each piece one against another: but the birds divided he not."

    The blood covenant worked this way. The animals were slaughtered and cut up. The pieces were intermingled and then carefully arranged to form a kind of aisle through which the two parties to the covenant would walk together, hands joined.

    The principle of a blood covenant, and the symbolism of the rended animal parts was clearly understood to Abram. Whoever broke the covenant would end up like those piles of animals.
    A blood covenant was, by common custom, a joining of 2 or more persons, families, clans, tribes, or nations, where the participants agree to do or refrain from doing certain acts. More specifically, God had proposed a patriarchal covenant.

    The patriarchal form of covenant is a self-imposed obligation of a superior party, to the benefit of an inferior party. In this form, the terms the parties use to refer to each other are: father and son.
    God's proposal included not only Abram, but extended to Abram's seed forever.

    (Galatians 3:29 makes plain that Christians are also "Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.")

    To summarize, Abram has just prepared a blood covenant between himself and God in which his seed would forever be bound to God as heirs. To be an heir, under the implied terms of the covenant, also required being faithful to the Father. Abram understood those terms and waited for God to appear.

    Consider the picture. Abram waited, driving away the carrion eaters from his grisly creation, waiting for God Himself to come down, join hands with Abram and together, they would swear a blood oath. God would be the Father of Abram and his descendents, who would then be required behave as sons to keep that covenant.

    Genesis 15:12 records that, as Abram waited for God, a deep sleep fell upon him. During that deep sleep;

    "it came to pass, that, when the sun went down, and it was dark, behold a smoking furnace, and a burning lamp that passed between those pieces. In the same day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying, Unto thy seed have I given this land, from the river of Egypt unto the great river, the river Euphrates:" (Genesis 15:17-18)

    And there's the key! While the covenant was between Abram and God, by passing through the aisle alone, God signed the contract -- alone -- for both sides, binding Himself to keeping both parts.

    We know that Abram's seed did NOT remain faithful to the covenant. And violating the blood covenant demanded that somebody had to die. That was what justice required.

    The Apostle Paul was, before his conversion on the road to Damascus, a Pharisee, or a religious lawyer, one well qualified to explain the law of covenant oaths.

    As Paul explains, "Know ye therefore that they which are of faith, the same are the children of Abraham. (Galatians 3:9)

    Further, that "they which be of faith are blessed with faithful Abraham." (3:9)

    And also, "But that no man is justified by the law in the sight of God, it is evident: for, The just shall live by faith." (3:11)

    Of the covenant that God signed on behalf of Abraham, Paul explains; "Though it be but a man's covenant, yet if it be confirmed, no man disannulleth, or addeth thereto." (3:15)

    The covenant could only be confirmed when the price demanded for its violation was paid in full.

    When the Law was given to Moses four centuries later, it was assumed by the Jews that to break it was to break the Abrahamic Covenant, for which the penalty was death. Remember, somebody had to die.

    But since it was God Who signed on behalf of Abraham, Paul pointed out the blood penalty required of the covenant was paid in full on Good Friday.

    "And this I say, that the covenant, that was confirmed before of God in Christ, the law, which was four hundred and thirty years after, cannot disannul, that it should make the promise of none effect."

    Why did Jesus have to die? Because the covenant demanded satisfactory payment for its violation, and no one who had broken that covenant was qualified to stand in payment except those who signed it. Abram was long dead. And, in any case, it was God Who signed on behalf of Abram (and his seed).

    It is for that reason that God stepped out of eternity and into space and time in the Person of Jesus Christ. To keep the provisions of the original covenant and be a true Son of Abraham, as it demanded.

    Once having kept its terms on behalf of sinful humanity, it was incumbent upon Him to make payment, as justice demanded, for its violation by those on whose behalf the covenant was signed.

    To be torn and rended like the animals that formed the corridor through which God alone passed.
    To make restitution on behalf of the seed of Abraham. You. Me. And everyone who ever broke its provision of faithfulness. All of us.

    Jesus made that payment on our behalf. On the Cross, as He gave up the ghost, Jesus cried with a loud voice 'it is finished' (Tetelestai!) meaning, "paid in full."

    The terms of the violated Covenant were met, its price was paid by its Signer. God's justice was fulfilled. That is why Jesus took on a human form and allowed Himself to be crucified by His own creation. That is the reason the Blood of Christ is so precious. Why nothing less would do.

    Because justice demanded it. And because justice was satisfied, a lost sinner need only accept the Pardon obtained at the Cross as full payment for his sins to obtain eternal life. Because of Good Friday, "Whosoever shall call upon the Name of the Lord SHALL be saved." (Romans 10:13)

    Our sin debt was paid in full on Good Friday. The only thing now separating God from man is human pride. Accepting by faith the pardon obtained for us at the Cross is a humbling experience.

    We've noted in the past that God's way is not our way, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. Indeed, God's way is usually the exact opposite of human thinking. Christians obtain victory by surrendering. We obtain eternal life through the Death of Christ, but to achieve eternal life one has to first die.

    "Good" Friday is the day that commemorates the greatest evil ever perpetrated in the history of mankind. But as it turned out, it was the worst day possible for the forces of evil. It marked the first introduction of pure good to this old world since the Fall of Man.

    "He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes WE are healed." (Isaiah 53:5)

    Happy Easter season!

    Wednesday, April 04, 2007


    So I was going to do the WAAAAAAAY Back Wednesday, however, my increasingly problematic computer has decided to experience technical difficulties once again and refuse to allow me to upload pictures currently. So, I am posting a meme instead. Happy hump day!

    Write exactly what's in your head and don't change it...

    1. My last 'ex' is still :: the father of my daughter
    2. I am listening to :: Glenn Beck
    4. I love :: my daughter
    5. My best friend(s) are :: the people I trust implicitly and I am blessed to have them in my life
    6. I don't understand :: why women don't respect themselves more – if you don't respect yourself and your body you'll never find anyone else to respect you.
    7. I lost my respect for :: my ex
    8. I last ate :: bbq chicken with potato salad and garlic butter corn.
    9. My favorite stuffed animal was :: I had a floppy little brown dog when I was a kid that I loved dearly.
    10. Love is :: God
    11. Somewhere :: over the rainbow
    12. I will always :: love you
    13. Love seems to :: continue to be elusive
    14. I never ever want to lose :: my family & closest friends
    15. my Phone is :: with me 24/7
    16. When I woke up this morning :: I wanted to sleep for another two hours
    17. I get annoyed with:: slow, stupid drivers
    19. My pets :: frustrating some times
    20. Kisses :: miss them
    21. Today :: is one day closer to the weekend
    22. I wish:: things were easier
    23. I really want :: a massage, full body (well almost full body anyway), 2 hours long to work out the knots in my back, shoulders and hamstrings.


    What would you rather be called?
    01. Babe or baby:: depends on who's calling
    02. Sweetie or Honey:: Honey
    03. Darling or Hunny:: Darling

    01. is your hair wet?:: nope
    02. is your cell phone right by you?:: yup
    03. do you miss someone?:: I have no one to miss
    04. are you wearing chap stick?:: nope
    05. are you tired?:: yes
    06. are you excited?:: about what?
    07. are you watching tv?:: yes

    01. recently done anything you regret?:: I like to call those lessons but no, not recently
    02. ever lied?:: yes
    03. ever stuck gum under a desk?:: yuck!
    04. ever kicked someone?:: yeah, but not hard, it was more of a "love" kick with my steel toe boots.
    05. ever tripped over your own feet?:: more than I'd like

    01. have you cursed?:: not yet, but wait until rush hour this afternoon
    02. have you yelled at someone?:: nope
    03. have you gotten mad at someone?:: mad? no. frustrated? yes.

    Q: is there a person who is on your mind right now?:: yeah
    Q: do you have any siblings?:: no
    Q: Do you want children?:: definitely – already have one but I'd like a couple more
    Q: do you smile often? :: I think so, though I laugh more than smile.
    Q: do you wish on stars? Every once in a while
    Q: do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? :: since I normally wear heels for work and usually am barefoot at home, no.
    Q: when did you last cry?:: I can't remember
    Q: do you like your handwriting? it's passable
    Q: are you a friendly person? :: depends on who you ask (and I have two specific people in mind), but 99.99¥% of the time, yes.
    Q: who's bed did you sleep in last night?:: mine
    Q: what size ring do you wear?:: depends on the finger and width of the ring
    Q: what color shirt are you wearing?:: black v-neck
    Q: what were you doing at 7 PM yesterday?:: helping Em with her homework
    Q: look to your right :: dog


    1. last beverage: water
    2. last phone call: my mom
    3. last instant message: MC
    4. last cd played: Texas Renegades – 3 a.m.
    5. last BUBBLE bath: last month?

    1. dated someone twice: yes, twice
    2. been cheated on?: yes
    3. kissed someone and regreted it?: negative
    4. lost someone special?: too many

    1. yellow
    2. azure
    3. salmon
    4. bronze

    1. Cried a lot? this month? no. last month? yeah.
    2. Fallen out of love? yes
    3. Laughed until you cried? only twice
    4. Met someone who changed your life? yes
    5. Found out who your true friends were? yes
    8. Is there something you want to tell to someone? yes, but it is for that person alone to hear and I'm too big of a chicken to ever say it!

    Sunday, April 01, 2007

    Surgery report

    Thank you for the prayers and well wishes for Emily's surgery! She sailed through the surgery with flying colors though she had a little bit of a reaction after it where she was really dizzy for a while and then she couldn't stop crying from the time she got back to the room to the time she fell asleep for about 20 minutes before we left. She kept saying "I can't stop crying and I don't know why" and "what happened to me?" and she even said once "I'm so confused!" She knew that she couldn't control her crying and that is fairly unusual for a kiddo her age who just got out of surgery. She was supposed to have this "amnesiatic" reaction to the anesthesia, however, up until her nap she remembered most everything before the surgery and after it. After her nap she no longer remembered me singing to her in the hospital room to get her to try and sleep longer to shake the worst of the effects of the anesthesia off and she didn't remember her dad carrying her to the car.

    Most of the day Friday she was hyper and spunky and I kept trying to have her calm down and slow down but she was just extra over-stimulated. Pretty much this whole weekend she was in SUPERHYPERACTVITY land. OY! She's supposed to be taking it easy this weekend per the doctor's orders and is to have no running, no jumping no hanging upside down for the next WEEK and I kept having to tell her "no running...no, Emily, do not hang upside down...don't jump like that…EMILY, do NOT put your head over the side of the bed like that!" and on and on.

    After the surgery the doctor came out and said that the fluid in her ears had ceased to be fluid and had become this thick substance (think like the consistency of cold syrup) and had significantly cut down on her ability to hear. He also said that her adenoids had been huge and that I was most likely correct in that they had been interfering with her sleeping and causing her to stop breathing (before surgery he thought that it might have been her tonsils causing her to stop breathing b/c that is typically what causes apnea apparently). I told him that I thought that it was most likely her adenoids b/c she snores with her mouth closed most of the time when she does snore and that is where the stopping breathing came in. Now, she's snoring and has not stopped breathing once yet.

    She did say that she was hearing A LOT better already and that things were actually too loud for her ears. She did ask Friday morning if she would be able to hear from far away again now that she got the tubes put in. She let me know Friday night that, yes, she can hear from far away now. I have a couple of funny pics from the hospital before surgery while she was like a little loopy drunk person but haven't uploaded those yet so I may or may not post them later.