Wise Words

"Wait on the Lord, be strong and of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart...wait on the Lord. Psalms 27:14


WWW As My World Turns

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Princess Picture Tuesday and more

It is time once again for pictures of my darling PQAL. I also will be posting a couple of other pictures as well.

Emily went to her first ballet on Sunday. The children's ballet did a rendition of Beauty and the Beast. Some of those kids can dance like nobody's business! The girl dancing the part of Beauty was probably all of 15, maybe 16. She had amazing extentions with her arms and legs and could pirouette and tour jette like an angel. Emily was in awe and just watching the excitement and wonder on her face as she got her first taste of the beauty that is the performing arts was magical. I can't wait to take her to the Nutcracker this year! Anyway, I captured some pictures of Em before the performance.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Full of excitement!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
I swear, Peanut M&M's are crack for kids!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Contemplating the colors

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
You are getting sleepy, verrrrrry sleepy...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
No dear, it's Beauty and the Beast, not Sleeping Beauty. (She was tired and got a couple of minutes of sleep before the ballet started.)

Memorial Day:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Technically this was Memorial Day. I was filling up at the gas station at 2 in the morning b/c I couldn't sleep. Am I fashionable enough with my camo shorts, tennie sandals and pedicure?

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
The budding artist. I tried getting a picture of her with her as she was standing up holding it, but it was too heavy for her and she sat down before I got one on my computer.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Or is it the budding tattoo artist? She loves her Uncle Aaron b/c he plays very rough and tumble with her. He also is the one teaching her to be a world class swimmer someday. Here she is drawing pen tattoos on Aaron's arm and hand. He was the only one who would let her. He also was the only one beside Em who wasn't cooking or preparing anything for Memorial Day eats.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
I am a sparkly star today! I felt like dressing kind of festive for Memorial Day so I got out my super comfy sparkly star shirt and wore it.

I Am An Immaculate Vessel

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! This was too good not to share. So I'm talking with some of the people at work today and I am told that I was the last interview and until they interviewed me, they were panicking b/c nobody they interviewed was even remotely close to what they wanted for this position. Then I came along and, according to the HR director here, it was like they had found the Holy Grail. Again, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA! HA! Sorry, had to get that out of my system. I am an immaculate vessel. *SNORT*. If that ain't some wacked-out stuff!

Monday, May 30, 2005

Monday Meals - Quick, Easy and Yummy Salmon

Today's Monday Meal is a delectable taste treat that incorporates easy and elegant all in one. The entree takes about 25-30 minutes to prepare and cook, while the side is about 10 minutes total prep and cook time. The longest prep and cook time is the unbelievably tempting and tantalizing fruit and almond cheese tart at a whopping 35 minutes, minus the chill time.

I think that you will find this to be a favorite when you're in the mood to enjoy something light as you watch the sunset in your backyard and are seranaded by the music of the summer evening on the breeze. It also is a perfectly sophisticated "grown-up" choice for when you have a summer evening gathering at your place. The ingredients are easily doubled or tripled if need be.

Enjoy this delightfully light compliment to the lingering heat of the summer nights!

Pan-Grilled Salmon with Fruit Sauce


1 can (15 1/2 ounces) sliced peaches, drained and coarsely chopped
1 can (8 ounces) pineapple chunks, with juice
2 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
2 tablespoons lemon juice
4 salmon steaks (about 6 ounces each)
1/4 cup sliced almonds, toasted

Preparation Time: Approximately 10 minutes

Cook Time: Approximately 15 minutes


Combine the peaches, pineapple with juice, sugar, cornstarch and ginger in a saucepan, bring to a boil over medium high heat. Cook and stir for 1 minute or until the mixture thickens. Stir in the lemon juice; set aside.

Meanwhile, grill the salmon over medium-hot coals or in a grill pan (or broil on a rack of the broiler pan 3 to 4 inches from the heat) for 7 to 11 minutes or until the salmon is cooked to the desired doneness, turning once. Serve the salmon with the sauce and sprinkle with almonds, if desired.

Servings: 4

Asparagus Spears with Lemon-Tarragon Butter


2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon chopped fresh tarragon
1/2 teaspoon grated lemon zest
1 can (10 1/2 ounces) asparagus spears, drained

Preparation Time: Approximately 5 minutes

Cook Time: Approximately 5 minutes


Melt the butter in a small saucepan. Stir in the tarragon and lemon zest. Simmer for 2 minutes over low heat.

Heat the asparagus in microwave and pour the lemon butter over top.

Fruit and Almond Cheese Tarte


1 refrigerated pie crust (1/2 of a 15-ounce package)
6 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup canned almond paste, broken into small chunks
1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 tablespoon grated lemon zest
1 can (16 ounces) apricot halves, drained
1 can (16 ounces) pear halves, drained
3 tablespoons toasted sliced almonds

Preparation Time: Approximately 20 minutes

Cook Time: Approximately 15 minutes


Heat the oven to 450º F. Press the pie crust into a 9-inch tart pan or pie plate. Prick the bottom with a fork. Bake for 11 to 14 minutes or until golden. Remove from the oven; cool on a wire rack.

Meanwhile, blend the cream cheese and almond paste in a mixer or food processor until smooth. Blend in the condensed milk, lemon juice and zest. Spread the mixture in the bottom of the baked pastry shell. Arrange the fruit, cut sides down, alternating apricots with pears in a decorative pattern on top of the filling. Sprinkle with the almonds.

Refrigerate until the filling is firm, at least 3 hours or up to 24 hours.

Servings: 6

Things That Make My Day

When Matt greets me at his parents for Memorial Day and gives me the best "HI! I'm sure happy to see you" style greeting! The smallest things make my day. It takes very little to make me happy. Depressingly little. A genuine show of affection pretty much does it for me. He totally made my day today! Not only did he greet me like he was truly happy to see me, he was playful with me, flirty, huggy and gave me this great shoulder massage while I was talking to his brother. It's the little things like that that keep me hanging in there and willing to work on repairing this marriage.

In Tribute

Instead of the 10 Words of Wisdom from yesterday, I will be posting several things about Memorial Day. Some little known trivia, poems and three songs you can listen to. God Bless our fighting men and women who put their lives on the line every day to protect us and bring freedom and democracy to nations who are under a dictator's thumb, to nations whose streets run red with the foul wind of genocide, to nations who are under the rule of fanatical regimes who believe in killing one's wife, sister, daughter, mother for some imagined "dishonor" to the family so that the families "honor" can be restored. These brave military men and women bring hope to those who have had none, bring justice to those who have been unjustly condemned, who sacrifice their lives so that others can have a life to live freely for the first time. Your efforts are not in vain. They do not go unnoticed. You are not unappreciated. Thank you for all that you do. May God bless you and your loved ones today and always for your willing sacrifices.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
*God Bless America*

The Music
Toby Keith - American Soldier:
Toby is a HUGE supporter of our military men and women. This song is one of the best one's I've heard from the country musicians in support of our American soldiers. Very blunt, very moving.

The second offering is the traditional bagpipe and drums verson of Amazing Grace. We had the color guard in church yesterday morning and they had a piper and drummer and it brought me to tears. Not just a little tears, but a lot of tears. There is nothing quite like hearing Amazing Grace on the bagpipes with a drum and remembering that other are out there putting their lives on the line so that I don't have to. Protecting the most precious part of my life, my daughter with their lives, sometimes leaving behind children of their own when they make that ultimate sacrifice. If it doesn't move you to tears the sacrifices they make for you and your family, you probably have a heart of stone.

Finally - Taps:

The words to "Taps":
(Note: there are no "official" words to Taps, below are the most popular.)

Day is done,
gone the sun,
From the hills,
from the lake,
From the skies.
All is well,
safely rest,
God is nigh.
Go to sleep,
peaceful sleep,
May the soldier
or sailor,
God keep.
On the land
or the deep,
Safe in sleep.

Love, good night,
Must thou go,
When the day,
And the night
Need thee so?
All is well.
Speedeth all
To their rest.

Fades the light;
And afar
Goeth day,
And the stars
Shineth bright,
Fare thee well;
Day has gone,
Night is on.

Thanks and praise,
For our days,
'Neath the sun,
Neath the stars,
'Neath the sky,
As we go,
This we know,
God is nigh.

The Trivia

Memorial Day was founded to honor military personnel who died in The Civil War and was first celebrated on May 5th, 1866 in Waterloo New York, though it was first widely celebrated two years alter on May 30, 1868. President Johnson declared in 1996 that Waterloo was the birthplace of Memorial Day because the town had made Memorial Day an annual, community-wide event during which businesses closed and residents decorated the graves of soldiers with flowers and flags. Today, Memorial Day is celebrated at Arlington National Cemetery with a ceremony in which a small American flag is placed on each grave. Also, it is customary for the president or vice-president to give a speech honoring the contributions of the dead and lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. About 5,000 people attend the ceremony annually.

In reading the poem In Flander's Fields, themost asked question about it is: why poppies?

Wild poppies flower when other plants in their direct neighbourhood are dead. Their seeds can lie on the ground for years and years, but only when there are no more competing flowers or shrubs in the vicinity (for instance when someone firmly roots up the ground), these seeds will sprout.

There was enough rooted up soil on the battlefield of the Western Front; in fact the whole front consisted of churned up soil. So in May 1915, when McCrae wrote his poem, around him bloodred poppies blossomed like no one had ever seen before.

But in this poem the poppy plays one more role. The poppy is known as a symbol of sleep. The last line We shall not sleep, though poppies grow / In Flanders fields might point to this fact. Some kinds of poppies are used to derive opium from, from which morphine is made. Morphine is one of the strongest painkillers and was often used to put a wounded soldier to sleep. Sometimes medical doctors used it in a higher dose to put the incurable wounded out of their misery.

About the Poppies
Where did the idea of calling Memorial Day "Poppy Day"? Memorial Day was originally called Decoration Day. Then in 1915, inspired by the poem "In Flanders Fields," Moina Michael replied with her own poem:

We cherish too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies.

She then conceived of an idea to wear red poppies on Memorial Day in honor of those who died serving the nation during war. She was the first to wear one, and sold poppies to her friends and co-workers with the money going to benefit servicemen in need. Later a Madam Guerin from France was visiting the United States and learned of this new custom started by Moina Michael and when she returned to France, made artificial red poppies to raise money for war orphaned children and widowed women.

This tradition spread to other countries. In 1921, the Franco-American Children's League sold poppies nationally to benefit war orphans of France and Belgium. The League disbanded a year later and Madam Guerin approached the VFW for help.

Shortly before Memorial Day in 1922 the VFW became the first veterans' organization to nationally sell poppies. Two years later their "Buddy" Poppy program was selling artificial poppies made by disabled veterans. In 1948 the US Post Office honored Moina Michae for her role in founding the National Poppy movement by issuing a red 3 cent postage stamp with her likeness on it.

Since the late 1950's - on the Thursday before Memorial Day - the 1,200 soldiers of the 3d U.S. Infantry place small American flags at each of the more than 260,000 gravestones at Arlington National Cemetery. They then patrol 24 hours a day during the weekend to ensure that each flag remains standing.

The Poetry
Perhaps the most popular poem that is quoted or recited on memorial day is this one by Major John McCrae:

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Another tribute to our fighting men and women is from Walt Whitman entitled:
Dirge for Two Veterans

THE last sunbeam
Lightly falls from the finish'd Sabbath,
On the pavement here-and there beyond, it is looking,
Down a new-made double grave.

Lo! the moon ascending!
Up from the east, the silvery round moon;
Beautiful over the house tops, ghastly phantom moon;
Immense and silent moon.

I see a sad procession,
And I hear the sound of coming full-key'd bugles;
All the channels of the city streets they're flooding,
As with voices and with tears.

I hear the great drums pounding,
And the small drums steady whirring;
And every blow of the great convulsive drums,
Strikes me through and through.

For the son is brought with the father;
In the foremost ranks of the fierce assault they fell;
Two veterans, son and father, dropt together,
And the double grave awaits them.

Now nearer blow the bugles,
And the drums strike more convulsive;
And the day-light o'er the pavement quite has faded,
And the strong dead-march enwraps me.

In the eastern sky up-buoying,
The sorrowful vast phantom moves illumin'd;
('Tis some mother's large, transparent face,
In heaven brighter growing.)

O strong dead-march, you please me!
O moon immense, with your silvery face you soothe me!
O my soldiers twain! O my veterans, passing to burial!
What I have I also give you.

The moon gives you light,
And the bugles and the drums give you music;
And my heart, O my soldiers, my veterans,
My heart gives you love.

Eulogy for a Veteran
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the Gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the mornings hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.

-Author Unknown

a poem

They are not gone who pass
Beyond the clasp of hand,
Out from the stone embrace.
They are but come so close
We need not grope with hands,
Nor look to see, nor try
To catch the sound of feet.
They have put off their shoes
Softly to walk by day
Within our thoughts, to tread
At night our dream - led paths
Of sleep.
They are not lost who find
The sunset gate, the goal
Of all their faithful years.
Not lost are they who reach
The summit of their climb,
The peak above the clouds
And storms. They are not lost
Who find the light of sun
And stars and God.
They are not dead who live
In hearts they leave behind.
In those whom they have blessed
They live a life again,
And shall live through the years
Eternal life, and grow
Each day more beautiful
As time declares their good,
Forgets the rest, and proves
Their immortality.

By Hugh Robert Orr

Sunday, May 29, 2005

To You - Yes You Know Who "You" Are

I'm just not in a good mood today thinking about "You". "You" don't cross my mind very often anymore now that MY HUSBAND has moved back out of "Your" shared place and has commited to working on this marriage and getting "You" out of his life for good, but when "You" do, it puts me in a bad, cranky mood. I wish that "You" had never come to Austin. I have nothing but negative feelings about "You": who called MY HUSBAND all hours of the day and night; who couldn't find "Your" own friends when "You" moved down here and imposed upon MY HUSBAND instead; who didn't have any respect, I mean NONE at all, for the fact that he was MARRIED with a small child; who text flirted or whined to MY HUSBAND - ALL the time wanting him to be "Your" rescuer (grab a clue and grow up - don't look to others to rescue "You" from "Your" feelings or situations); who allowed him to move in with "You" for over a year...I could go on and on about the things "You" did but this post would be never ending. Before I knew just what "You" were, I tried liking "You" for MY HUSBANDS sake b/c he thought "You" were cool and "You" worked with him. But I never liked "You" from the first. I think I knew even then just WHAT "You" were. "You're" nothing but a HOMEWRECKER.

I can't stand "You". In my eyes and a lot of others "You" are not a good person. I have never believed that "You" only had platonic feelings for MY HUSBAND. "You" couldn't find a good man of your own so "You" had to encroach upon someone else's, who even though our marriage was having problems, "You" could see that he really is a good man. A MARRIED man with a small child. "You" suck. "You" are no longer wanted by MY HUSBAND so don't contact him again. "You" are not part of this family, never have been, NEVER will be. "You" are not welcome in our lives anymore.

I HATE thinking about "You" b/c it puts me in a crankypants mood and I HATE being in a crankypants mood. It does bad things to my attitude and I generally have a real good attitude. Just go away.

I almost used the Church Sign Generator on "You" but realized it was a waste of my time to even put this much effort into "You". "You" are a complete and total waste of our time.

I'm trying real hard to act like a Christian should but I'm not ready to forgive "You" for the damage "You" have done to my marriage (I'm sure "You're" jumping for joy about that). I hope God can forgive me for that one right now. Doesn't mean I can't pray for "You", though that's a real stretch right now too, even though we benefit ourselves when we pray for those we have issues with and don't like.

I heard this song a while ago and it's what I think about "You" so this one's for "You".

Not the nicest post to start off a Sunday morning with, or any morning for that matter, but I just had to get this off of my chest this way b/c if I ever saw "You" in person, as the song goes, Now honey I'm a Christian, but if you keep it up, I'm gonna go to kickin' your pretty little butt. Is that clear enough?. Actually "You" aren't even pretty, but the rest of it is true enough. 'Nuff said. Rant over.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Protect your children

Found the following on a new neat blogsite. Thanks to An American Housewife for posting this. Go visit her and say thanks!

Dear Parent, On Missing Children's day, we wanted to send you an important notification about how you can start protecting your children today. There is no cost, we just want to help.
4 Simple Steps To Protecting Your Children Today
Missing Children’s Day 05/25/2005

22 years ago, President Ronald Reagan set forth that May 25th would be National Missing Children's day. On this day, the National Alert Registry asks you to invest in the future of your children. The National Alert Registry pledges to help you protect your children with a free 4-step program to help become prepared, involved, aware, and informed.

In One Year 58,200 Children Are Victims Of Non-Family Abductions
Source: Nonfamily Abducted Children: National Estimates and Characteristics (NISMART, 2002)

STEP 1: BE PREPARED: The National Alert Registry has developed a free Child Identification Package that may help aid authorities identify your child in case of emergency.

To get your Child Identification Package please visit:
Child ID Kit

STEP 2: GET INVOLVED: Take a proactive stance in fighting to keep your children safe. Follow our 8 simple rules for protecting your children and teach them to start
protecting themselves today.

You can find the 8 simple rules at:
Protect Your Children

STEP 3: BECOME AWARE: Make yourself aware of the dangers that exist and the agencies designed to help protect you and your children.

To find more about some of these agencies please visit:
Parent Resources

STEP 4: STAY INFORMED: Run a free sexual predator search to determine if sexual predators live near you.

You can run a free search today by going to:

*** Make this National Missing Children's day successful and take these 4-steps toward making you children safe. ***

What Should I Do If Sexual Predators Are In My Area?
If sexual predators are in your area, full reports are available & include:

+ A Detailed Map of where the Offenders live in proximity to you and your children
+ Photos
+ Appearance Details
+ Name Aliases
+ Specific Conviction Information
+ Offense Dates
+ Offense Details
+ Street Addresses of Offenders

Please let us know if there is any other way we can help. Our goal is to protect your children


National Alert Registry
Customer Service
National Alert Registry

Now, having posted that up I also urge you to go to use THIS SEARCH ENGINE. It's easy and free, and you don't have to register to become some sort of member. It is the FBI Investigation Programs; Crimes Against Children search place.

But when you go to your state and zip code take note that it may say that they don't maintain their database on a regular basis or something of the sort. Get on 'em.

Today's FFT

Running a little behind this morning so just going to post the basics.

The Church Sign Generator
An interesting way to say something to someone. Put it on a Virtual Church Sign, save it and send the picture. Comes in two different designs you can use.


For some Memorial Day fun - a little site that brings you back to the 80's with Rate My Mullet. Yes, you can go and rate actual people's mullets. Pretty sad but some of the pictures are so funny.

For those of you who use your computer at the office to access me, have a great weekend, enjoy Monday (Memorial Day) off and I'll see you here next week Tuesday.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

15 Things About Me

Today is the day where you learn just a little more about me. Some surprising, some every day stuff. I tell you what, it's not easy to come up with 15 new things every week. Some people do the 100 things right off the bat. Not me. The best way to get to know someone is a bit at a time. Too much at once, it gets overwhelming. So, I thought that 15 things every Thursday would be a good amount. Not too much, not too little. However, next week, I think I might cut it down to 10 Things About Me every week. But, for this week, I am going to go ahead and do 15 Things, so get ready to find out something interesting about me this week. I will tell you which one of the things in my MeMe was a lie on the Three Things part of my Screaming MeMe post.

15 Things About Me:

1.) My top 5 pet peeves in any relationship, be it work, love or other is:
*Abuse of any kind
*Bad mouthing the other person

I have to say, ashamedly, that I have broken one of my peeves before and that is bad mouthing the other person.
2.) I love to read. I have been reading since I was 3 and have developed a deeply ingraned love of the written word. I am picky about what I like though.
*Romance (natch!)
*General Fiction
*Political perspectives and insider books about our government, it's leaders and the real story. Unless they're from liberal, left-leaning bashers of anything right leaning or Christian/Jewish. I can't stomach those b/c they leave a sour taste in my mouth. Yes, I like reading about politics. Surprised?

3.) I like odd smells. My favorite is rubbing alcohol, next is gasoline fumes, then brand new rubber tires. Though they are not my favorite smells, I really like them.
4.) I've been to Anne Rice's Vampire Ball in NOLA back when they still had them.
5.) I brush my teeth very thoroughly but don't floss every day.
6.) I collect greeting cards.
7.) I make really cool natural stone jewelry. Work mostly in Turquoise, Citrine and Amber, but I have done other pieces with raw Garnets and black pearls among others.
8.) I'm as nice as can be until you mess with me, my marriage, my family or my friends. Then I have all the warmth of a rabid pitt bull.
9.) My eyes look brown unless I'm pissed, "randy", been drinking a bit or the sun is shining directly in them. Then they can get light green on the outside with the brown in the middle.
10.) I love motorcycles. Can't really make them "go", but I'd like to learn. For now, I really love just hopping on and holding on tight! (And letting someone else get the bugs in their teeth). I haven't riden since before Matt and I started dating. I would love to own a Harley by the time I'm 36. *DROOL* Unfortunately, reality is that I probably will never own one. They're too darn expensive. I love their "rumble" though. *SIGH!*
11.) I prefer Coke. Can't stand Pepsi. It's too sweet for me. YUCK!
12.) My lie on the Screaming MeMe was...I've been skydiving. I've never been but would love to go. The other two are true.
13.) I prefer silver or white gold to yellow gold or platinum. Platinum is too dark of a metal.
14.) I used to have no freckles on my face, now I have some on my cheekbones.
15.) My birthday is one day before Matt's. I was born July 5, 1973. Matt was born July 6, 1973. I'm the "older woman".

You can find the previous 15 Things About me, here, here, and here.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

It's Time for the HDQ

Ok. I’m a little late today with the HDQ. But for a good reason. I actually have had stuff to do at work today! YAY me! Sounds kind of odd doesn’t it? Someone excited to have work to do. I’m sure my attitude will shift the more I have to do and some days it will be all “WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?!” But for now, I’m happy…and I’ve completed everything that I have been given so far. So, to kill some time since many people are in meetings right now, and those who aren’t don’t have anything for me to do, on with the HDQ.

If you could choose to only have one of these in a relationship, which would it be:

Passion or love?

I would have to say love every time. However, a dear blogfriend of mine and fellow writer, Brenda tried to tackle this subject a few weeks ago. She had some really good points about passion – it was her choice. She said of both passion and love:
Passion lacks reason. When consumed with passion, you can't very well make thoughtful and considerate decisions. You're lost in the passion, the moment, the person. All that matters at that moment IS that moment. Nothing else. It's a fire that blazes and burns and if allowed to grow out of control, it can destroy. If left untended, it becomes this low, smoldering heat. If not stroked and teased, it eventually dies out. One moment there's heat, and then, nothing but ash. It's immediate, it's fuel that drives us. It makes us lose all reasoning. Nothing matters at all but the moment of right now. …

Love is cozy feeling, a warmth that spreads and lasts for years, passes through generations. Love has highs and lows, peeks and valleys. Love is comforting. Love is safety, a surety of things. The knowledge that it will always be, one way or another. Like the sun rising, you know you will have love. …

I’ve had passion. I’ve had love. I’ve been burned by both. I’ve had both at once and that was the worst burn of all. If I had to choose between love and passion, I would have to choose love. Love lasts, passion doesn't. Love is deep, passion is all consuming. You can burn out on love, but passion can burn you out. Love looks forward to the next 50 years, love takes work. Passion can border on obsession and obsession can drive you mad. I believe that anything you have to work for is worth holding on to. I’d rather choose the sanity of love than the insanity of strong passion.

Though, ideally, the “ideal relationship” would have the perfect blend of both. Enough love to stand the test of time and tough spots, to cheer you when things are at their toughest and comfort you when you need it most, to warm you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes with a happy glow. Enough passion to have the other person be first and foremost on your mind so that you wouldn’t even want to look at another person in anyway other than a passing glance, to want to make the other person feel special always – not just on certain days or when you’re feeling guilty, to still flirt with your special someone and grab a lingering kiss and cop a feel when you’re 75.

Here’s to wishing you a lifetime filled with the perfect balance of both.

However, for the original intents and purposes of this HDQ:

If you could ONLY HAVE ONE, which would you choose and why?

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Princess Picture Tuesday

Ok, so this one is kind of a cheater. I took this one at 6:45 this morning as I'm trying to wake her. I've picked Em up and was holding her in my arms trying to wake her. The kid sleeps like the dead!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

It's way too early for either of us to be up!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Hodgepodge: Work, 10 Words of Wisdom, Monday Meals

Tonight there is a little bit of everything for everyone.

As promised, here are the 10 Words of Wisdom that were supposed to be posted yesterday.

Today's (Yesterday's) 10 Words of Wisdom:
1.) Measure people by the size of their hearts, not the size of their bank accounts.
2.) Don't worry that you can't give your kids the best of everything. Give them your very best.
3.) Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
4.) Choose work that is in harmony with your values.
5.) Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the caller's.
6.) Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry. You'll buy too much.
7.) Spend less time worrying who's right and more deciding what's right.
8.) No man really finds out what he believes until he begins to instruct his children.
9.) It's the little things in life that determine the big things.
10.) Contentment isn't getting what we want but being satisfied with what we already have.

The Second offering for today is the Monday Meal. I promised something nice and chilled to take the edge off of the heat that threw itself out there in full force here in Texas this past weekend. For a FABULOUS poem about it, visit the Duke_of_Earle. He lives down in the Victoria area and apparently it was more hot there than down here in Hell. LOL. So anyway, on with the meal:

Though the prep for this one involves baking, it is delish served chilled.

One-Dish Tuna Casserole:

Prep Time: 10 min
Total Time: 45 min
Makes: 4 servings

PREHEAT oven to 350 degrees °F/176.7 °C

3 cups uncooked bite-sized pasta
3/4 cup each Miracle Whip Dressing and milk
2 cups Kraft Shredded Cheddar & Monterey Jack Cheese
1 can (10 oz.) tuna
3/4 cup corn, drained
3/4 cup sliced mushrooms
1/3 cup Planters Slivered Almonds
1 1/2 Tbsp. Grey Poupon Dijon Mustard

1. PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Cook pasta as directed on pkg; drain.
2. MIX dressing and milk in 2-3 qt. casserole dish until well blended. Add pasta, cheese, drained and flaked tuna, the other add-ins and the dijon seasoning. Top with croutons.
3. BAKE 35 min. or until heated through.

Serve warm or chilled

One Bowl Cheddar Biscuits

Prep Time: 15 min
Total Time: 30 min
Makes: 12 servings, 1 biscuit each

2-1/4 cups dry all-purpose baking mix for biscuits
1/2 cup KRAFT Shredded Cheddar Cheese
2 Tbsp. chopped fresh herbs
1/4 cup BREAKSTONE'S or KNUDSEN Sour Cream
2 Tbsp. GREY POUPON Dijon Mustard
1/3 cup milk
1 egg, lightly beaten

PREHEAT oven to 425°F/218.3°C. Place baking mix in large bowl. Add cheese and herbs; stir until combined. Mix sour cream, mustard and milk in small bowl. Stir into baking mix until just combined.

PLACE dough on surface lightly dusted with baking mix; knead 10 times. Pat into 1/2-inch thick circle. Cut with 2-inch cutter dusted with baking mix. Place biscuits on baking sheet. Brush each lightly with beaten egg.

BAKE 12 to 15 min. or until lightly browned. Serve warm.

And now for the dessert!

Festive Fruit Pizza

Prep Time: 10 min
Total Time: 25 min
Makes: 16 servings, 1 wedge each

1 pkg. (18 oz.) refrigerated sliceable sugar cookies
2 jars (5 oz. each) KRAFT Pineapple Spread
2 cups assorted fresh fruit, such as strawberry slices, peeled kiwi slices, mandarin orange segments, halved seedless grapes

PRESS cookie dough onto bottom of greased 12-inch pizza pan. Bake as directed on package until golden brown; cool.
SPREAD crust with pineapple spread; top with fruit.
CUT into 16 wedges to serve. Store leftover pizza in refrigerator.
Ok, I am stinking tired. Getting up before 7:30 doesn't agree with me. Now I'm getting up at 5:45. YAWN, YAWN, YAWN! This is going to be short and sweet on work: Work was great today. I really feel like I fit in. The people there get my humor! I'm looking forward to being there for a long time!

Still hot as hell here. It's 79 degrees at midnight. Going to sleep now. 'Night.

Screaming Meme - revisited

A dear blogfriend, MooAlex AKA LJ let it be known that she has never been blogtagged. So in the spirit of the blogtag, LJ, click the following link and choose one or both of these Meme's to post on your blog.

BTW, what is a Meme? It is pronounced like Me-Me, as in it's all about me-me-me-me! It's a way to find out things about the individual or the individual's personality.

Enjoy your first Meme, LJ!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Today, Tonight, Tomorrow

Today was HOT AS HELL! Driving to my inlaws with Emily to celebrate my darling stepson's 14th birthday (it was the family celebration today, even though he turned 14 this past Monday), the outside temperature gauge on my car read 103 at one point. CRAP! We are having end of July/August temps at not quite the end of May. This sucks.

So, today was my last non-working day. I start work tomorrow and am a little anxious about it. Not that I won't do a great job, just that it is a new job and it's my first day back to work in almost 4 months. Matt went ahead and kept Em tonight. It's so hard being without her when he has her. He has her during the week days b/c he works nights and also has her on an occasional weekend night. My one dream as a child, the one thing I wanted to do and be was a mother to a house full of kids. Not a doctor or movie star or teacher or any other thing like that. Just a mother. As I mentioned in a previous post, it was a miracle that I had Emily and will be the equivalent of winning the lottery or lightning striking twice to have another child b/c of the hormonal issues that my body was cursed with, which actually is a blessing b/c it makes me appreciate more just how special this one perfect little girl is. She is the delight of my life, the light in my eyes, the joy in my heart. She is everything to me and I love her more than my own life. She is the very best part of me.

I miss her tonight, even though I know that it is best that she is there b/c there is so much that I have had to prepare for and do tonight to get ready for tomorrow and would not have been able to spend the time with her that she needs and likes for me to. I miss her night time prayers and asking me to sing a song for her or read her a Bible story before bed. There is an ache in my heart not being able to give her a night time hug or see her sweet smile or the sparkle in her eyes when she looks at me. Yes, I fully admit it, I am smitten with my darling daughter b/c she is such a gift. She always tells me in a hushed voice:

"Pssssst. Guess what?"
"What sunshine?"
"I got a surprise for you?"
"Oh, yeah? What is it?"
"It's...(she leans forward, her eyes sparkling and her voice gets very quiet)...me!"
"Yay! That's just what I have always wanted!"
"I know."

Then she comes over and throws her little arms around my neck and squeezes me tight.

"Rock me, mommy. Sing 'Baby Mine'."

This is the song that I sang to her months before she was born. This is the first song I sang to her as I held her right after she was delivered. Matt got it on video. So I hold her like a little baby and rock her like a little baby and sing to her as I look into her eyes and see her smile b/c she loves for her mommy to do that. And I treasure the moment b/c I know that soon, far too soon, she will be to "old" for such shows of affection and it will be a "gift" that she grants me when she deigns to let her old mother hug her anymore. And I dread those days but I know they must come. That they will come. When friends and appearances will take the place of bedtime Bible stories and requests of "just one more song mommy" to help get her to sleep are a thing of the past. The best I can do for now is to love her and show her that she is loved and create cherished memories of bedtime fun that she can, and God willing will, pass on to her own children some day.

One night a couple of weeks ago, she was laying down and I was singing to her and she turned her head to look up at me (she was laying on her stomach) and she whispered "I'm your precious gift." At the age of 3 and several months she gets it. She knows that she is special to me. That she indeed is a gift from God to me. All I could do at that moment is bend forward and lay my head next to hers on her pillow and look her in the eye and say "Yes, honey, you are. You are my most precious gift that I have ever received and I thank God every single day of my life that you are in it." And she closes her eyes and finally goes to sleep. Secure in the knowledge that she is loved greatly and wanted wholeheartedly and cherished deeply.

Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part
Baby of mine

Little one when you play
Don't you mind what they say
Let those eyes
Sparkle and shine
Never a tear
Baby of mine

If they knew sweet little you
They'd end up loving you too
All those same people who scold you
What they'd give
Just for the right to hold you

From your head
To your toes
You're so sweet
Goodness knows
You are so precious to me
Cute as can be
Baby of mine

Baby mine
Baby mine

I recorded an AudioBlog so you could hear me singing the song, yanno, if you wanted to. I told you in a previous 15 Things About Me Thursday that I have stage fright. Just to even know that you all could be listening really unnerved me and so the sound quality isn't the best, but I didn't have the nerve to go back and do another one. At least my voice doesn't suck too bad. :)


Writing about my Emily definitely helps to calm the jitters about tomorrow down. I'm glad that she knows that she is my world b/c that's all that matters to me is that she knows it.

Ok, I'm off to sleep in curlers so that my hair will have a wavy effect tomorrow. I don't know if my body chemistry is changing or what. I was born with stick straight hair and moquitoes avoided me religiously. Now, my hair is drying naturally wavy and I've gotten more moquito bites this weekend than in the whole past year. Wonder what's going on there? In February I cut 15" off of my hair. It's grown out to just below shoulder level. With my first paycheck I'm going to get my hair cut to my chin. If this weekend has been any indication of the kind of weather to expect this summer, shorter hair is going to be the thing to have.

I know I missed the 10 Words of Wisdom for tonight, I will try to go ahead and post them tomorrow evening, along with the Monday Meal. I'm thinking something in a chilled pasta salad or the like. Something to keep you cool during this unGodly heat and humidity.

To the general populous: Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.

To my Emily fair, sugar booger, silly goose girl, honey bunney - I love you deeper than the oceans and farther than the stars. Goodnight my little love. May angels watch you through the night.

Summer has arrived

After enjoying unseasonably cool temperatures up until Wednesday or so of this week, SUMMER has come early. It's already rather warm right now at 10:20 and going to get HOT today. It's in the mid-80's as I type this and expected to reach high 90's or 100's today. ICK. YUCK. Give me my cooler weather back. Please!?

Mood today? See the picture to the right under "Today I Feel"...

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Screaming Meme

Ok, So I got Meme tagged again, not once but twice. So instead of doing two separate posts I shall combine them into one.

First off:
Amy, Here you go:

Total Number Of Books I Own: Well over 200. I have BOXES of books. I'm not about to count them all, but I will say at least 200-300 if not more.

Last Book I Bought: I can't remember b/c I haven't bought a book in at least 4 months.

Last Book I Read: Robin McKinley's The Blue Sword. It is the prequel/sequel to The Hero and The Crown that I referenced a couple of days ago. It continues to be a favorite from my earlier reading experience.

When Harry Crewe's father dies, she leaves her Homeland to travel east, to Istan, the last outpost of the Homelander empire, where her elder brother is stationed.
Harry is drawn to the bleak landscape of the northeast frontier, so unlike the green hills of her Homeland. The desert she stares across was once a part of the great kingdom of Damar, before the Homelanders came from over the seas. Harry wishes she might cross the sands and climb the dark mountains where no Homelander has ever set foot, where the last of the old Damarians, the Free Hillfolk, still live. She hears stories that the Free Hillfolk possess strange powers -- that they work magic -- that it is because of this that they remain free of the Homelander sway.

When the king of the Free Hillfolk comes to Istan to ask that the Homelanders and the Hillfolk set their enmity aside to fight a common foe, the Homelanders are reluctant to trust his word, and even more reluctant to believe his tales of the Northerners: that they are demonkind, not human.

Harry's destiny lies in the far mountains that she once wished to climb, and she will ride to the battle with the North in the Hill-king's army, bearing the Blue Sword, Gonturan, the chiefest treasure of the Hill-king's house and the subject of many legends of magic and mystery.

Five Books That Mean A Lot To Me:

The Bible - for obvious reasons. And then the not so obvious. Whenever I have a question or a problem that I can't answer, usually an emotionally based one, I pick up my Bible and let it fall open and I have always gotten an answer to what I was dealing with. God's way of showing me what I should do in those situations. It also is a great source of comfort for me. There are books on Wisdom and books on Praises and books about Sorrow. And, if you really read it, it lets you know how everything started and how it's going to end. It has something for everyone in it.

The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. These were my first self-reading memories at probably age 4. I have been entranced and enthralled by these books ever since. I re-read all 7 every single year and the love, magic and wonder of Narnia continues to be just as strong as ever. I LOVE these books. If I had to be stuck on an island with 2 books, they would be the Bible and The CON - 50th anniversary edition which has color illustrations and contains all 7 books in one hardcover compendium. Yes, I use the .50 cent college words even though I never finished college.

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein: This book always touched me deep in my heart. I thought the story was a beautiful one of unconditional love and giving to someone else whatever was needed, regardless of the personal cost. I got this story even at a young age. Philisophically, emotionally, psychologically, spritually...you get the idea. It struck a chord deep within me that carries over to this day. Shel Silverstein, God rest his soul, was wierd, strange and a little "out there" in his other collected works for kids (and one book for adults). He really connected on a different level with this book. He connected in the heart of a child to show what love, real, true love, AGAPE love should be like - even if he didn't use that word. He made the definition of it understandable to a young child and made her yearn to find that same love in her life.

We Americans by the National Geographic Society. It's more like a picture book of famous photographs of American life throughout the first 7 or so decades of the 20th century than a story book or anything else. This one book was a book of my dad's that I used to love to look at with him when he was having one of his good days. The most memorable picture in there to me was the famous picture when end of WWII was announced and a photographer captured the famous shot of a sailor grabbing a nurse in the middle of the street and bending her backwards and planting a huge kiss on her. This is one of the books of my father's that I kept after he died. It is on my bookshelf and I can see it right now as I look up. It is a book that I will never get rid of.

Two books that were stories of being adopted that my mom always used to read to me. it was a two book set and it talked about how very special it was to be adopted and what it meant. It meant that my mom and dad chose me, out of every other child in the whole world, to be their. They were books that made me feel special, even at an early age. I always knew I was adopted. My parents never hid that from me. These books made me feel extra good and kept me focused on having been chosen, rather than having been given up.

Ok, I know that this is #6, but this is one that is important to me too and I couldn't leave it out.

Shanna by Kathleen Woodiweiss. This was a hardcover romance novel that I borrowed from my high school boyfriend's mom and she said I could keep it. It is the first romance novel that I "experienced". I had read others prior to it, but this was the one that drew me in and made me enamoured of that genre. After reading that book, I couldn't get enough and wanted to read more. I will be forever greatful for that book b/c it created a deep-seated love of the romance genre and showed me what a "good" romance should be. Thank you Kathleen for writing this book that created a love that eventually led me on the path I am today.

Secondly: Three Things from Susie.

Three names you go by:
Mrs. Boedeker

Three screen names you have had:

Three physical things you like about yourself:

Three parts of your heritage:
Heinz 57 so no answer

Three things that scare you:
The thought of anything bad happening to my daughter
The fear that Matt and I may not work things out even though we both want to. (Things keep getting in the way more than they should)

Three things you're wearing now:
Do-rag (sp?) on my head
Wedding ring

Three of your favorite bands or musical artist:
Toby Keith
Van Morrison
Mercy Me

Three of your favorite songs:
Fields of Gold
Amazing Grace
The Dance

Three things you want in a relationship:

Two truths and a lie (which one is a lie?)
Gosh I've said so many things in my 15 things about me, ummmm, let me think:
I've dated a professional football player
I've been skydiving
I was a witch
(Which two of these are true, which one is a lie?)

Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:
Chest Hair (not like a bear, but a nice bit on the chest that leads to a "happy trail")

Three of your favorite hobbies:
Making Jewelry

Three things you want to do badly right now:
Have a 100% clean house
Have a tequila shot or 10
Have an extended full body massage that gets the knots out of my back and shoulder blade area that never seem to leave, no matter how long the massage is. A massage that makes my fingers tingle as I melt into the table.

Three careers you've considered:
Interior designer

Three places you want to go on vacation:

Three kids' names you like:

Three things you want to do before you die:
See my daughter grown, happy and healthy with healthy grandchildren
Be published in the romantic fiction genre
Go to Ireland/Scotland on an extended vacation

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
I love decorating houses
I have my nails and toes done professionally
I'm ga-ga for babies, kids and cute animals

Three celebrity crushes:
David Boreanez of the 90's (not so much today)(Shout Out to the BUFFYPHILES!)
Hugh Jackman
Colin Farrell

K, so I tag Amy back (She gets to do the Three Things one - payback dearie). Everyone else gets to do their choice of the two: Dawn, Master Yoda, fellow Texan JG - even though he's in a cranky pants mood, Cindy and RealLady - my blogfriend Bill's wife.

Have at it y'all!

Welcome to my HELL

There is a famous quote that exclaims "War is HELL". I will have to amend that to say Garage Sale Saturday is HELL. It is 97 degrees here in Central Texas, humidity is right around 60% here at my mom's house and the heat index is 102. My mom's neighborhood has a yearly garage sale usually the 2nd or 3rd weekend in May where whoever wants to participate can. It’s big draw and usually a good money maker. This is their 9th year, I think. So I've been helping her with her part in the garage sale since 6 this morning. It was so muggy this morning that the tables were just sopping wet with moisture. Clothes were getting damp. Tape wouldn't stick to anything. How the heck are prices supposed to stay tacked to bins of books and clothes and the cooler of sodas for sale?

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against Hispanic people. My husband is half Hispanic, ergo, my sweet daughter is part Hispanic as well. My mother in law is Hispanic, my brother and sister in law are half Hispanic. I love the Hispanic culture. Well, except for Tejano music. I hate Tejano music. But just like there is a difference between Country folk and Rednecks, there is a difference between Hispanics and Mexicans. My husband is fond of calling them "beaners", "spics" or "wetbacks". Well, for those of you who aren't familiar with garage sale frequenters, a good majority of them are Mexican. Who speak no English. Who never want to pay more than 1.00 for anything. No matter what it is.

Now, I'm all for people coming to America and bettering themselves. But, DAMMIT, do it legally. If you want to come here to America. Learn the STINKING language! Don't expect me to learn YOUR language when YOU are coming to MY country to live. This is America. If you want to become American and live and work and procreate here, learn to behave like one. That doesn't mean give up your culture. That's not what I'm saying. However, that being said...Don't try to cheat me out of anything by trying to make me restart adding your purchases several times b/c you are pretending to change your mind and are trying to trip me up so that you'll pay less for more and DON'T think you can stuff an item of clothing into another one and try to pay just for one. I AM ON YOU LIKE A HAWK A$$HOLE! Oh, wait, let me use it in a phrase that you will understand. ESTOY EN USTED TENGO GUSTO De un HALCÓN, PENDEJO! Whether that is grammatically correct, I don't care. Spanish is not my first, second or even third language. I only speak English fluently. But I can tell you the amount something is and then tell you "NO" when you try to lowball me into selling an almost brand new COMPLETE outfit (2 or 3 pieces), worn my my daughter maybe 3 times b/c she grew out of it too fast, for a quarter. I can understand "enough" of what you are saying to know when you are talking about me or my mom, and if you try to jerk my mom or me over, I will stand up to you and tell you what is what. If you get pissed and walk away, no big. I could care less. It's 3.00 out of my pocket that I can get from the next person who doesn't try to cheat me. And I get the benefit of getting you out of my hair. Be nice to me and I will even lower the price a little if I like your personality and you only want to pay maybe 2.50 for it. Try to cheat me and you will be pulling the tail of a rabid pitt bull.

I always say that on Garage Sale Saturday, that one special day in hell on earth reserved just for me, that my mom is the money man and I am security. I get on my camo military shorts and shirt and stand guard with my big wicked knife in my pocket tucked away for good measure and readily available. Some countries cut your hand off for stealing, hmmmm, why don't you try me and see if you fare any better?

It is HOT AS HELL. My mom has her next door neighbor over and a friend stopped by so there are 3 older women sitting here taking all of the shade and the air that the pitiful oscillating fan is putting out as I swealter in the sun b/c nobody wants to move. There are no clouds, no breeze, only HEAT and sweat and headaches, and if I'm really unlucky, which I will be, a good little sunburn later. And now I've got the hiccups from drinking a carbonated beverage. 3rd time today.

Can you tell that I HATE Garage Sale Saturday? I am so thankful that it comes only once a year. Garage Sale Saturday Sucks.

On the other hand, I've probably made about 100.00-150.00, which will take a little of the sting out of the sunburn tonight.

Wierd Google #2

Today's wierd Google keyword activity is...

Girls wip their noses pics

Er, why would anyone want to see pictures of people wiping, picking or blowing their noses? Just EW!

I was the #7 blog listed.

Friday, May 20, 2005


Hi all! I have a very special favor to ask of each person that stops by here. There is a special blogfriend whose younger brother in in Iraq. She is requesting that people come by and leave a message ON HER BLOG in the comments section UNDER HER BROTHER'S PICTURE. He is scheduled to come home for leave in June (maybe up to 2 weeks, they're not sure yet of how long he will have).

As we all know, it is very important to our men and women in uniform to receive the support of those of us stateside. Even if you oppose the war for whatever reason, our fighting soldiers still deserve our support b/c they are doing their job. I personally support the war as well as our soldiers, but I have friends who are opposed to the war and yet support our men and women in uniform b/c they are doing what has been required of them.

So please, please go by Dawn's Blog and leave a supportive message for her brother that she will give him while he is visiting on leave. Remember, a soldier's morale is only as good as the support they receive from us. Regardless of what we individually might think, they deserve our support for doing their duty. God bless you all and God bless America!


It's FFT Time

Is everyone ready? Have you gotten your permission slips signed by your parents or legal guardian? B/C you know with field trips you always needed one or you had to stay behind. Well not today my friend. If you don't have your slip signed, who really cares, 'cause I'm a cool teacher like that. Alright, if everyone is ready, it's time for today's FFT (Friday Field Trip).

Today we will be visiting two fun sites that I have no doubt you will enjoy and pass on to other deserving people.

First up is World School Photographs. This web site is amazing - they actually have photographs of almost every school in the world. Unless you went to school before cameras were invented, you will find a photo of yourself or at least your classmates.

Click on the link below and follow the instructions. If you have gotten married and changed your name, please enter your maiden name - you know, the one you had before you got married. It's a really cool thing. I found some great pictures of some of my friends from high school there. Brought back some interesting memories.

World School Photographs

Our second FFT stop is to a fun little site where you can create your very own Southpark Character. Just like I did here.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

It's a fun way to pass the time and immortalize yourself as a SP Character.

Just click here. This one is better than the original Create-Your-Own-SP-Character site. It has a LOT more options to choose from.

Alrighty then. Hours of amusement await you so please be careful as you step off of the bus to embark upon your FFT adventure.

Tune in next week for more fun FFT times!

Random quotes from a favorite story

Many years ago in the later 80's - around '87 or so - I read a book that struck a chord in me. It was called The Hero and The Crown by Robin McKinley. It was kind of a fantasy book for young adults/adults. I cherish that book to this day still, along with it's sequel (that came out before it) The Blue Sword. Though I enjoyed The Blue Sword better, there are several passages in The Hero and The Crown that still strike something deep within me. I thought I would share them with you today for no other reason than I have been thinking about this book incessently for the past several hours and can't sleep.
She wondered if she had ever truly not known that Tor loved her, if it were only that she had always feared to love him in return. She was afraid no longer, and the irony of it was that Luthe had taught her not to be afraid, and that it was her love for Luthe that made her recognize her love for Tor.
She did not mount at once but turned back to Luthe, and he held out his arms, and she rushed into them. He sighed and her own breast rose and fell against his. "I have put you on a horse - that same horse - and watched you ride away before. I thought I should never get over it that first time. I think I followed you for that. Not for any desire to help you save Damar; only to pick up whatever pieces Agsded might have left of you. ...I know I shall never get over it this time. If you do it, someday, a third time, it will probably kill me." Aerin tried to smile but Luthe stopped her with a kiss. "Go now. A quick death is best, I believe."
"You can't scare me," Aerin said, almost suceeding in keeping her voice level. "You told me long ago that you aren't mortal."
"I never said I couldn't be killed," replied Luthe. "If you wish to chop logic with me, my dearest love, you must make sure of your premises."
"I shall practice them - while - I shall practice, that I may dazzle you when next we meet."
There was a little silence, and Luthe said, "You need not try to dazzle me."
"I must go," Aerin said hopelessly, and flung herself at Talat just as she had done once before. "I will see you again."
Luthe nodded.
She almost could not say the words: "But it will be a long time - long and long."
Luthe nodded again.
"But we shall meet?"
Luthe nodded a third time.
"Gods of all the worlds, say something," she cried, and Talat startled beneath her.
I love you", said Luthe. "I will love you till the stars crumble, which is a less idle threat than is usual to lovers on parting. Go quickly, for truly I can not bear this."
She closed her legs violently around the nervous Talat, and he leaped into a gallop. Long after Aerin was out of sight, Luthe lay full length upon the ground and pressed his ear to it, and listened to Talat's hoofbeats carrying Aerin farther and farther away.

Tor had been king less than three years when he was first called the Just, for the even-handedness of his wisdom; a wisdom, they said, that was never cold, and that sat strangely in the eyes of one not yet forty. Aerin knew where some of that old wisdom came from, for she had first seen it the afternoon that he had told her she should be queen, had asked her to marry him; the same afternoon that he had not asked her about Luthe. She hoped that she might never be careless of Tor's feelings. Tor, who had been her best friend all her life, and sometimes her only friend. Perhaps the memory of the reek of Maur's despair made her a little forgetful too, for she began to think of the wide silver lake as a place she had visited only in dreams, and of the tall blonde man she had once known as a creature of those dreams; for the not quite mortal part of her did sleep, that she might love her country and her husband.

The End


I guess being enamoured of romance and love for as long as I can remember might have something to do with the reason this story resonated with me then and still does to this day. Two wonderful men who the heroine of the story loved desperately, but had to make a choice between a) the kind of love one finds with their soul mate and turning her back on all she knew or b) in the knowledge of that soul mate love being able to recognize and realize the deep love she shared with the person who had always been by her side, and in doing so, turned her back on the soul mate love to be the woman she was meant to be all along with the one she was destined to love and build a life with.

I wrote my first romances in starting in the late 80's in High School for friends who wanted to star in a romance with the crush of their choice or boyfriend in various locations from a window-walled suite overlooking the lights of the city to being surrounded by snow while in a large log cabin in the mountains with a roaring fire and a bear-skinned rug. Yes, I created customized romances back then for others. Detailed romances that shared much, but left off at the right moment to let their imagination take over. I never wrote sex back then. Just the suggestion of leading up to it. I had many repeat customers. Hmmmm, that makes me sound like a tawdry tart doesn't it? I wrote for sheer enjoyment back then and never charged anyone. I reveled in the power of flexing my brain and imagination and coming up with different scenarios. These days I write only for myself. I don't really care about what other people want in my writing. If it makes me happy, that's what matters to me. If other's happen to enjoy it, well, that's just a bonus. And if I ever get published, that will be the icing on the cake with the cherry on top: to get paid for what I love doing most, other than being with my family.

Good night, or good morning, as the case is.

Oh, today's FFT will be to a couple of fun places. Get ready to enjoy them later.

Nic out.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

15 things about me Thursday

Ok, it's time for another 15 things about me Thursday as the title suggests. I'm a little late, but that's ok b/c it's still Thursday and y'all will be ok reading about it tomorrow.

15 Things About Me:

1.) I can pick up things with my toes and write my name with my right toes.
2.) I dream in both black and white and vivid color. I remember most of my dreams.
3.) I make the perfect steak and the perfect mashed potatoes (which I may or may not post on a future Monday Meal).
4.) I've never broken any bones but I have dislocated my right kneecap more than once.
5.) I have borderline arachnophobia. The only spider I'm NOT afraid of is the most dangerous one. The most venomous spider, believe it or not, is the daddy long legs, however, it's mouth is so small, it cannot bite humans. Or so the urban legend goes.
6.) Caffeine and sugar don't affect me. I have NEVER had a caffeine high or a sugar rush. I can only wish that energy drinks did something for me or coffee of sodas, but to no avail. Caffeine just makes me warm and makes me have to pee a whole lot.
7.) I am not afraid of heights. I am afraid of depths. The one movie that has freaked me out more than any other is Deep Blue Sea. To watch a deadly shark coming at you from out of the murky depths makes me shiver even as I write this. I don't like not knowing what is below me.
8.) I am ambidextrous but my right hand is the dominant one.
9.) I can make professional flower arrangements.
10.) I know how to make balloon wraps (and have done so many times note: these are not my works just depictions):
Image Hosted by ImageShack.usImage Hosted by ImageShack.usImage Hosted by ImageShack.us
11.) I severely dislike doing mathematical equations. I'd rather use a calculator than not, but will put pencil to paper if I have to. Math was NOT my forte in school. I excelled in language arts, English, History and creative arts like creative writing, art, drama and music.
12.) My favorite season is Fall. The days get cooler, the nights get chilled. Warm enough for shorts still during the days but cool enough for a sweatshirt at night. And best of all: IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON!
13.) My favorite bread is Great Harvest Sourdough bread! For "specialty" breads I really jones for their Cinnamon Chip and Apple Scrapple breads. Nobody beats Great Harvest for tasty bread!
14.) I'm not affiliated with any political party. I vote for whoever is closest to my morals and values and beliefs. Ok, so 99.9% of the time I vote Republican b/c I am EXTREMELY conservative, but I have voted for the occasional Dem. Well, only 2 or 3 times before. But I have never blindly checked a straight party ticket.
15.) I make up inventive, child-friendly, curse words. There are some situations that I just want to let a curse word fly but little ears are listening, so I practice "safe says" so that a real word doesn't slip out in front of her and she picks it up. The LAST thing I need is for her to go around to my mom's friends or, God forbid, Sunday school and church calling someone a stupid a-hole or worse. My favorites are "Bloody" which is a mild English euphamism, "Biscuts and Gravy" in lieu of SOB, "Flippin'" or "Flipping" instead of Stupid or S#!ting, and "Stinkin'" or "Stinking" in lieu of the really bad F-word.

Em knows I'm upset when I use the last one when referring to something - NEVER in reference to her though. Uh-uh. You couldn't PAY me enough to cuss at a child. Nope, I will never use any curse word in reference to her or any other child. I am a BIG believer that YOU NEVER CUSS AT CHILDREN. NEVER, EVER, EVER...EVER! Have I made my feelings clear on that? I heard a mom swearing at her young daughter who must have been 7 or 8 at the most when I did my volunteering gig and I wanted to go up and smack her a righteous good one. BOILED MY BLOOD it did. She was a STINKING rotten mother at that point. It was over ice cream that the daughter didn't want to eat and the STINKING ROTTEN mother was cussing at her for not eating it after she had paid for it and was all in her sweet, scared little face over it. BLOODY, STINKING, ROTTEN EXCUSE FOR A MOTHER. Eat it yourself you troll.

Wierdest Google I've had yet

Ok, I just saw that someone found my blog by Googling "does cheese constipate you". Good LORD, my blog was the first link to come up out of 1,420 links. I can say so far that that is the strangest Google I've gotten so far. Mostly it's been Misheard Song Lyrics or Chicken Enchilada Casserole or some variant of it.

Where Do I Start?

My ticket y'all!
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Oh my heavens! What can I say other than I'm still flying over THE MOVIE. It brings everything full circle and draws that circle to a close. Seriously, go see it people. 2½ hours didn't seem like 2½ hours. And that is the kind of movie I like!

So, I went to see Revenge of the Sith at 12:01 a.m. I got there around 9:50 and they were already seating people. The theaters were already packed when I got there and the ONLY place left to sit was in chairs on the floor level. I was lucky and got one in the middle right in front of the stadium seating. So where do I start in my review? Why at the beginning of course.

I played solitaire, Snood and Elf Bowling on my phone to help pass the time. Snuck some energy drinks into the movie b/c hey, it was going to be a late night. Energy drinks don't do much for me except make me have to pee a lot. A whole lot. Must be the caffeine. I'll explain my resistance to caffeine in the 15 things about me later today. Luckily I only had to get up twice during the movie and I made sure that it was at a time when there wasn't a lot going on. Which was few and far between.

Sitting in a theater full of people I realized something, I can sing in front of a crowd, as long as they're not paying attention to me. Around 10:30 I called my mom, who was looking after Emily while I was at the movie to see if Emily was asleep. She wasn't. I usually sing to Emily to help her fall asleep at night or at least to push her to the point where she calms down enough to get to sleep. I had to sing 4 songs to her before I noticed that her voice was to the point where she was going to fall asleep. I just closed my eyes and ignored the hubbub of activity, light saber fights and voices going on around me and sang to her. Yes, I did say light saber fights. Went on every stinking 15 minutes or so by some overly enthusiastic amateurs and got old real quick after the first 2 times. SIGH!

But I know that you didn't come here to read about that. You want to know about THE MOVIE, yes? Even if the answer is "no", tough noogies. You're getting my review anyway.

First off the previews.

The first preview was AMAZING, SPECTACULAR and had the ENTIRE theater whistling, clapping and cheering. What was is you ask? None other than the preview for The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe. The special effects were un-freaking-believable! Nothing looked CGI at all. The preview was at least 2 or 3 minutes long. The theater went WILD for it. The movie has been moved up from December 19 to December 9 and I CAN NOT WAIT for it to come out. Yes, I must confess that the CON (Chronicles of Narnia) are my favorite books hands down and I own quite a bit of CON memorabilia including a couple of 2nd edition books and one 1st edition printing of some of the CON from the 40's as well as some of the board games from England, a Narnia advent calendar that is behind a wardrobe door and other assorted items. I've written Narnian fanfic, have a Narnian character name and am one of the original members of the online Yahoo Narnia group. My name is Nicole Boedeker and I am a TOTAL Narnia Geek!

The rest of the previews looked singularly uninspiring after the LWW preview with the exception of Batman Begins. That one looked pretty darn good.

SO, 12:15ish rolls around and the Lucasfilm, LTD logo fills the screen and the theater gets frenzied at this point. It starts out with these familiar words appearing on the screen:

A long time ago,
In a galaxy far, far away...

And the crowd goes wild with thunderous applause and deafening cheers.

Ok, let me just pause here to say this:

The score: PHENOMINAL! Williams really outdoes himself on this final score in tying a lot of recognizable music from all the other 5 episode scores together in this one. Beautifully done!

The acting: Some characters I had issues with b/c the acting was wooden. Like it was being forced at times (cough...cough...Natalie/Hayden love scenes..cough). But even those characters (separately had good acting too. Mercifully JarJar, though he shows up in the movie, utters not one blessed word. Thank you George for that! Best acting award goes to Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine/Darth Sidious. He HIT this one out of the park, people. His acting here is outstanding. Runner up, Ewan McGregor. Ewan really got the essence of the original brilliant actor to play Ben Kenobi, Sir Alec Guinness. It is like you ARE watching Sir Alec as a younger man. Brilliantly played. His acting in the last 30 minutes just TEARS at your heartstrings. Also Yoda was masterfully CGI'd and exceptionally well done. A couple of scenes were really deeply heartrending while a couple of others provided for some of the very few lighter moments of the movie. This is a MUCH darker movie so those are very few indeed.

***Parents, young kids SHOULD NOT go see this. There is a lot of violence and Ani as Darth kills the younglings in the temple. Though not shown, the aftermath is shown and it is HEAVILY implied. It definitely shows that the younglings trusted Master Skywalker and he slaughtered them. Could really give younger kids bad dreams about people they know wanting to kill them or something. Kid's psyches are fragile enough without having to endure something like that as well. But you are aware of what your younger children can handle and can't. Please be aware of this before taking them to see it b/c you think it would be a "cool" experience like you had as a kid seeing the originals. This is much more intense, scary and violent than any of the other 5 episodes. If you have doubts, wait for the DVD. Ok, enough of the public service message and spoilers. ***

The special effects: Way above par. While there were several green screen effects that were very noticable - the Ani/Padme suite effects of being on the balcony and seeing the city in the background was the most noticable I thought. Interesting that the more complex CGI effects were seamless, especially Yoda, the volcanic planet
and the space/ground battles.


So I decided that I would rather not finish the synopsis of it and stick with my review above. To do an in depth synop as I was doing, would have taken up too much time and ruined it for someone who hasn't seen it yet. Just know that I LOVED IT!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I'm there at 12:01 are you?

Yes, I have a ticket to go see Revenge of the Sith tonight, er, Thursday morning at 12:01 a.m. I went to get my ticket around 5 today and there was already a line outside of people camped out. Out of 5 screens showing RotS, 3 were already sold out, and the 4th one was about to. SOOOO, I gave in, geeked out and got my ticket!

Matt was pretty ticked that I didn't invite him. I feel bad about that. He works nights and has been picking up extra hours so that he can bring in more money and I didn't want to take away any of that. I wasn't going to hide the fact that I was going tonight from him and knew that he would read about it tomorrow anyway, so I told him. I didn't want him to find out in the morning b/c that would have been just crappy. He said that would have called in to go with me, but they make the schedule at 3 and he wasn't going to screw them over to go to a movie but if he had known earlier... Ah me. There's nobody else I would have wanted to see this movie with and I thought that he would have not gotten off of work. Sometimes we think we make the right decision and we really don't, but don't know it until after the fact. That seems to happen a lot.

I'm sorry babe. Had I known you would have called in, I would have let you know sooner and gotten a ticket for you and we could have gone together. I would have liked to have you there.

For the rest of you, I'll be posting a review tomorrow! How many of you are going or have already seen it?

I'll be there at 12:01, how about you?

Today's HDQ

If you could do one thing with someone right now, who and what would it be?

For me it would be swimming with the dolphins with my family. I'd love to be able to swim with those beautiful creatures and watch my daughter's face as she experiences something new, different and wonderfully exciting like that for the first time. I've always wanted to swim with the dolphins and have heard that it is an amazing experience. Plus you got the white beaches and clear, beautiful waters. Here in Texas we have brown water in the Gulf b/c of all the shipping business that is done in it. The water is pretty NASTY and not anything you would readily want to swim in. Ahhhh, to be sipping tropical drinks packed with plenty of punch on the beach. Something I've never experienced before. So that would be nice too.


Go to New Orleans with Matt and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law and her husband. We've tried going twice before but plans never solidified. I've been to NOLA more times than I can count. Used to go several times a year, but I've never been to Mardi Gras. I LOVE New Orleans. It's right below Kansas City as my favorite city in the US. Of course I haven't been to that many cities, but those two are tops for me.

Ok, your turn. Tag, you're it.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Pincess Picture Tuesday - time goes by so fast

So, how proud can a mommy be? Let's see, I'm pretty proud of my little PQAL.

We've been working on baseball. Usually kids at her age are trying to learn to play T-ball. Not my Em. She can throw a ball pretty far and has been working on her swing. I've been soft-tossing the ball to her and she would almost hit it. Miss it by just a couple of inches. Finally I told her to keep her eye on the ball and watch it as I threw it to her b/c you can't hit what you can't see. So, I try again and she smacks it! We're not talking barely hitting it, we're talking about smacking it past me and halfway across the yard. 8 times in a row she did this! Yes, that is my little darling athletic prodigy. Last year at 2½ she was swimming into the deep end at my inlaw's pool (about 10 feet deep) with a little life vest that latched under her legs and would just stay out there and swim like a little fishy. She gets it from my husband's side of the family. He, my BIL and SIL all swam and my BIL and SIL went to state for swimming. Currently my BIL teaches her a lot. Recently taught her the backstroke.

We had a backyard picnic today b/c this was supposed to be my last day at home. We had the leftover chicken and rice that I made from yesterday's Monday Meals recipe. Put a blanket out in the backyard and ate and then we lay there as I read her part of a story. It was a multi chapter story so she got the first chapter which was about 9 pages long. She does good with attention span on longer stories. We had planned the picnic last night so when Matt said that he was going to suggest that I keep her today b/c this was supposed to be my last day home I was thrilled! Emily woke up talking about the picnic and was so happy when I got the blanket to put outside on the lawn. It was a good day with my sweet baby girl who is growing up all too fast.

Over the weekend I realized that next year she could feasibly start school. I don't want her in a public school b/c the public schools are secularistic and teach selectively what our American heritage and history is. I want a good solid backgroud for her that doesn't "allow" kids who don't cut the mustard to pass up to the next grade. Public schools have lost accountibility for what they are teaching our kids today and why they allow a "pass" for trouble kids who aren't making the grade. No, I want my daughter in a private school. She would miss the mark by 3 weeks, however, in a private school, she can take some placement tests and go in early. One reason I want this is b/c she is already doing basic math, is learning to spell, not the basic letters like C-A-T or D-O-G but more complex words like M-O-V-I-E and H-O-N-E-Y and K-I-N-G...You get the picture. The story about M-O-V-I-E is I was talking to my mom on the phone one day and spelled movie into the phone so that Emily wouldn't know what we were talking about. Emily says "Movie? What movie are you talking about, mommy?" I was floored. I have never told her how to spell it and neither has anyone else. That was her first word that she ever spelled. She can write her letters on top of knowing what they are. She's been writing (copying) words and letters for at least 3 months now. She also is easily at least ½ a head to a full head higher than any of the other kids in her Sunday school class that are her age. If she can pass the test, she's in. I'd much rather have her be the youngest in the class and at least somewhat measure up to the other kids in height (she would still be bigger most likely but not as big) than have her be one of the oldest in the class and look 2 classes older than what she really is.

So anyway, here are this weeks PQAL pics of my baby girl! Who's not such a baby anymore. BOOHOO! Parents, enjoy them when they're young. Time goes by too fast and before you know it they go from being rocked to sleep in your arms to starting their first day of school.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Think this is Emily? Guess again. It's me when I was about 4. Emily swears it's her. LOL.

It's Picnic Time:
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Yes, she plays GameBoy better than I do. She can whip my heinie in Super Mario Brothers. Her manual dexterity, hand/eye coordination and foot coordination is unparalleled for her age.

Batter Up!
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

And finally, a picture of my very incredibly handsome step-son, Brian. He is taller than me now (I'm 5'7") and just turned 14 yesterday. I couldn't love him anymore than if he were mine. Happy birthday baby boy!
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Oh my dear stars!!! My day is complete!

Master Yoda Image Hosted by ImageShack.us voted for me on the blogette contest!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I am in Star Wars Heaven!!! This is me grinning from ear to ear!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Oh happy day! I'm walkin' on sunshine! WOAAAAHH YEAH!

There are two really good blogs out there for Star Wars - Darth Vader's and Master Yoda's. I prefer Master Yoda's b/c full of humor and wit it is. So go visit Master Yoda's blog and enjoy the fun you must. Just click on the picture above and it will take you straight there.

It's almost here! It's almost here!

STAR. WARS. REVENGE. OF. THE. SITH! I can hardly sit still b/c I am SOOOOOOOO ready to see it. There are a lot of excellent movies coming out this summer, but ROTS is the first, the best, the only. Well, there is the delish Christian Bale as the new Batman. But still...the FINAL installation in the trilogy, the culmination, the completion, the one that ties everything together starts tomorrow (well, techincally Midnight Thursday). The questions will be answered. SIGH. Can you tell that I can't wait to see it! The only problem is, I don't know if I will be working by then or not. I emailed my employer yesterday b/c I haven't heard anything about my background check and since my offer letter says on or around the 18th. So I got a response today saying that my background check hadn't gotten back yet. SIGH. What could be taking so long? I have never been in trouble with the law, done anything illegal, I am one of the most normal, almost background boring people you will ever meet. What in the world could be taking so long? Again... SIGH. So I own an assault rifle. It's legal. It's my favorite firearm, hands down. That shouldn't be a problem, should it? If I don't start until Friday or Monday, I will have to just go see the midnight showing of ROTS. Anyway, I took the Star Wars Personality test and am ok with the results. Even though My character got killed off in Ep 1, he still was a kick a$$ guy!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Monday, May 16, 2005

Monday Meals - Chicken and Rice

Good Monday afternoon everyone. It is time once again to post a totally delish, easy to make dish! Today I have decided to go with comfort food. Something to warm you to the tips of your toes - not that the spring weather isn't doing that already. But the spring weather can't make your tummy happy and this is like maybe a 10 minute prep time - see EASY! So without further ado, here is this week's Monday Meal:

Chicken and Rice:

9x13 pyrex or corningware baking dish
6 thawed boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1½ cups of long grain rice (NON-INSTANT) if you use the instant it will get mushy.
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can french onion soup
1 can water
salt/pepper/garlic powder to taste

Preheat oven to 390F/198.9C
Spray the baking dish with a non-stick spray
Sprinkle rice evenly along the bottom of the dish
Lay the chicken breasts down side-by-side in the dish on top of the rice
Take the cream of mushroom, french onion soup and water and blend them together
Pour the soup mixture on top of the chicken, lifting the chicken slightly so that all the rice underneath is covered with the soup mixture
Cover with foil and put in oven for 1 hour
Take foil off and bake for another 20 minutes
Take out and ENJOY!

Yield: 6 servings

See this one was EASY, yummy and makes for a good meal.

Side dish

Honey Sweetened Carrots:
Cook baby carrots or sliced carrots until tender
Drain thoroughly
Add 1/4 cup butter (NOT MARGARINE or OLEO or any of that other processed filth)
Pour approx 1/4-1/3 cup of local honey over hot carrots
Let set and simmer over low heat for a few minutes, stirring occasionally
Serve with Chicken and Rice


Yummy Nummy Frozen Lemonade Pie
(The perfect cool treat for a warm night)

1 can 6 oz. frozen lemonade
1 pt Vanilla ice cream,softened
3½ c Thawed Cool Whip-type topping
1 ea Ready graham cracker crust
1 x Yellow food coloring,opt.

Place concentrate in large mixing bowl and beat about 30 seconds.
Gradually,spoon in ice cream and blend.
Fold in whipped topping and add food coloring,whipping until smooth.
Freeze,if necessary,until mixture will mound.
Spoon in pie crust.
Freeze until firm,at least 4 hours.
Store any leftover pie in freezer.

Yield: 6 servings