Wise Words

"Wait on the Lord, be strong and of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart...wait on the Lord. Psalms 27:14


WWW As My World Turns

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Church Sign Wisdom - Part Two

Here is the next group of wisdom from the church signs:

126. A problem not worth praying about isn't worth worrying about
127. Don't condone what God condemns
128. God does what few men can do – forgets the sins of others
129. All sore and weak from Backsliding? Try Pew Sitting and Knee Bends
130. Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, Faith looks up
131. Prayer is more effective when we spend as much time listening as we do talking
132. Jesus became what we are so we can become like He is
133. If you're a Christian, earth is the only hell you'll ever know! If you're not a Christian, earth is the only heaven you'll ever know
134. When the Lord's people become a dirty gray, the black sheep become more comfortable
135. God gave everyone patience. Wise people use it
136. The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in
137. God’s alphabet has only 4 letters between I & U – L O V E
138. We often find Him outside of our comfort zone
139. God's resources are equal to His requirements
140. GOD is like Hallmark cards: HE cared enough to send the very best
141. Rapture – the only way to fly!
142. Don't have anything to be thankful for? Check your pulse!
143. Trust says Jesus can. Faith says Jesus will!
144. Come in today and beat the Easter crowd
145. You are never so high as when you're on your knees
146. God may say “wait” but He never says “worry”
147. If you were on trial for being a Christian would there be enough evidence to convict you?
148. Worry ends where faith begins
149. SIN: Commit to not commit!
150. It's not the outlook it's the uplook that counts!
151. They see our methods, He sees our motives
152. Finding hell is easy! It's at the end of a 'Christ-less' life.
153. Plenty of folks give the Lord credit, few give Him cash!
154. Count your blessings, not your problems
155. Good old knee-ology is as good as some theology
156. In this life it's not what you have but Who you have that counts!
157. A hypocrite is a person who's not himself on Sunday
158. Honesty is not only the best policy, it is the will of God
159. What does it take for God to get our attention?
160. There are many things in my life for which I am ashamed, but Jesus is not one of them.
161. Jesus never taught how to preach – only how to pray
162. You can't walk with God and hold hands with Satan at the same time
163. Jesus declared the truth; He never gave opinions
164. When was the last time you told God you love Him? He is still listening.
165. We are as full of the Holy Spirit as we want to be
166. We become like what we worship
167. Sin will keep you from the Bible but the Bible can keep you from sin
168. The Bread of Life never gets stale
169. Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death
170. Christians aren't perfect – just forgiven
171. Into each life a little rain must fall. Who's your umbrella?
172. Help is just a prayer away
173. Be an organ donor – give your heart to Jesus!
174. If you walk with the Lord, you'll never be out of step
175. Jesus! Don't leave earth without Him!
176. Christ's return is near. Don't miss it for the world!
177. An early walk and talk with the Lord will last all day
178. Where death finds you, eternity will keep you
179. PSALMS read here
180. Things that are not eternal are already out of date
181. The wages of sin have never been reduced
182. Seven days without prayer makes one weak
183. Patience is a virtue which carries a lot of wait
184. Firefighters rescue, only Jesus saves
185. Only God can give all of Himself to everyone
186. Who is Jesus Christ? Inquire within...
187. Jesus is returning...resistance is futile
188. If you think you are perfect try walking on water
189. Christ traded in the comfort of heaven for the cruelty of the cross
190. If you don't like the devil's fruit, stay out of his orchard
191. Can't follow the stars? Follow the One who made them.
192. You can't compromise and conquer sin at the same time
193. I would rather walk with God in the dark than go alone in the light
194. Without Jesus in your life you have no life. With Jesus in your life you have eternal life. It's your choice.
195. Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonalds makes you a hamburger
196. There are two things I've learned: There is a God! And I'm not Him!
197. God without man is still God. Man without God is nothing.
198. The key to Heaven was hung on a nail
199. Does your spiritual house need spring cleaning?
200. Where will you spend eternity?
a) Here b) Heaven
c) Hell d) Not sure?
Is that your final answer?
201. If you're living your life like there is no God, you'd better be right!
202. The Easter Bunny didn't rise from the dead
203. Are the rules you live by created by God or by man?
204. Say YES to Jesus and saying NO to drugs will be easy
205. Every time the devil reminds you of your past remind him of his future!!!
206. When someone gets you hot and bothered, just turn on your "prayer conditioner"
207. Conscience is God's built-in warning system
208. Free trip to Heaven! Details inside!
209. If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again
210. When God threw our sins in the Sea of Forgetfulness He posted a 'No fishing sign'
211. Jesus is right for whatever is wrong in your life
212. Keep looking up – God is looking down
213. God so loved the world that HE did not send a committee
214. When Jesus is all we have, we realize Jesus is all we need
215. When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right
216. Dusty Bibles lead to dirty lives
217. Everyone you meet today is on heaven's most wanted list
218. Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon
219. If you want your neighbor to see what Christ can do for him, let him see what Christ did for you
220. Y2K= Yield to the King
212. The Rapture is coming: Get Right or get Left!
222. Breathe in God's spirit, exhale God's love
223. If you're too busy to pray, you're too busy
224. If you don't remember Him all day don't ask Him to remember you at night
225. Jesus is my ROCK 'N I'm on His ROLL
226. Try our Sundays. They're better than Baskins-Robbins.
227. Sin has no minimum wage
228. Want to avoid burning? Use "Son" block
229. Life is short – pray hard!
230. Soular powered by the Son
231. Beware of the high cost of low living!
232. Read the Bible. It's user-friendly plus we offer tech support here on Sundays at 10 am.
233. Rapture – the separation of Church & State!
234. Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you
235. For every decision, you either suffer the consequences or reap the rewards
236. God's delays are not God's denials
237. Prepare for your finals! Read the Bible
238. In case of rapture, read the other side of sign / (other side) Jesus is the Quicker Picker Upper
239. Do you check your Foundation before or after the storm?
240. Try Jesus. If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back
241. Friends don't let friends go to hell
242. If you can't forgive yourself, you're saying Christ didn't do enough
243. The Rapture: A one way all expense paid trip for all eternity – no baggage allowed
244. Thanksgiving is good but Thanksliving is better
245. The surest steps to happiness are the steps to church!
246. No day is dark in the Son
247. Been taken for Granted? Imagine how God feels.
248. One birthday isn't enough – BE BORN AGAIN!
249. God is in control not Mother Nature
250. Father God made Mother Nature

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Church Sign Wisdom - Part One

I did an online search for church sign sayings b/c there are a couple of churches around where I live that usually have eye-catching and thought provoking sayings every week on their signs. I wanted to see just how many were out there. To my surprise there are a plethora of really great church sign sayings. As I started reading them I thought that may of them were just full of good wisdom.

I ended up making a list of the ones I liked the most and decided to share them. There are so many on the list that this is going to be broken up over the next few days. The sayings listed are clever, often thought provoking, witty and truthful. Some of them may sound alike but those that do are variations of the same saying.

Which is your favorite?

1. Give God what's right -- not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a faith-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.
11. This church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives are developed.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be fishers of men. You catch 'em; He'll clean 'em!
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
26. Read the Bible – It will scare the hell out of you.
27. BIBLE – Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
28. "Pray" is a four-letter word that you can say anywhere
29. You can't stumble when you are on your knees.
30. To be almost saved is to be totally lost.
31. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts!
32. God grades on the cross, not the curve.
33. Wal-Mart isn't the only saving place!
34. God doesn't want shares of your life. He wants controlling interest!
35. Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
36. Wisdom has two parts, 1) having a lot to say, 2) not saying it.
37. Watch your step carefully! Everyone else does!
38. A clean conscience makes a soft pillow.
39. He who is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
40. For all you do, His blood's for you!
41. Forbidden fruits creates many jams.
42. Deciding not to choose is still making a choice.
43. If God is your Co-pilot... swap seats!
44. In the presence of trouble, some people grow wings; others buy crutches.
45. Worship not our blessings. Worship our Creator who gives us our blessings.
46. God answers knee-mail.
47. Sometimes the Lord calms the storm, sometimes He lets the storm rage . . . and calms His child!
48. The well of Providence is deep. It's the buckets we bring to it that are small.
49. His mercies are new every morning, because our messes are new every day!
50. Peace on the outside comes from knowing God on the inside!
51. Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth.
52. Until a person's hands are empty he cannot reach the hand of God.
53. God loves each of us as if there were only one of us
54. One plus God equals a majority
55. God brings men into deep waters not to drown them, but to cleanse them
56. If you are not as close to God as you used to be, who moved?
57. God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?"
58. There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."
59. God did not call us to be successful. He called us to be faithful.
60. God's clock is never slow, but sometimes ours is fast!
61. God gives the best to those who leave the choice with Him.
62. God will never lead you where His grace cannot keep you.
63. The true measure of loving God is to love Him without measure.
64. Peace is not the absence of affliction, but the presence of God.
65. In order to realize the worth of the Anchor, we need to feel the stress of the storm.
66. Those who live in the Lord never see each other for the last time
67. Many people use "Duct Tape" to fix everything...God used nails
68. Availability is better than ability for God
69. Jesus accepts you the way you are, but loves you too much to leave you that way
70. Jesus did not come to make God's love possible, but to make God's love visible
71. The only limitations to God are in our mind
72. When you can't trace God's hand, trust His heart
73. Where God guides, He provides
74. Home is where the Lord sends us
75. God does more than hear our words. He reads our hearts
76. T.G.I.F.: Thank God I'm Forgiven!
77. When we put our cares in His hands, He puts His peace in our hearts
78. We're all invited to a heavenly feast, but we must R.S.V.P.!
79. His pain is your gain
80. When we've done what we can, God will do what we can't!
81. Have no fear in tomorrow – Jesus is already there
82. When God says "no", it's because He has something better in store for you
83. God loves you whether you like it or not
84. Jesus is a friend who walks in when the world walks out
85. I was going to waste, but Jesus recycled me
86. When you're down to nothing, God is up to something!
87. All I have to offer Him is all he wants from me.... my heart.
88. Be kind to your enemies; you made them.
89. Eternity: Smoking or Non-Smoking?
90. Faith makes things possible not easy
91. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage
92. God's Favorite Department: Lost & Found
93. No Jesus – No peace. Know Jesus – Know peace
94. If you're headed in the wrong direction, God does allow U-turns!
95. In the dark? Follow the Son.
96. The Bible is the only Book where the author is always present whenever it is read
97. The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us
98. The Ten Commandments are not multiple choice
99. They’re called the Ten Commandments NOT the Ten Suggestions
100. 1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4 Given
101. A person, whose Bible is falling apart, usually isn't
102. God plus nothing = everything
103. If Jesus isn't Lord of all, He isn't Lord at all
104. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything
105. Grace is free, but it isn't cheap
106. A day hemmed with prayer, rarely ever unravels
107. Atheism is a non-prophet organization
108. Our love from God is tested by the question of whether we seek Him or His gifts
109. It is distrust of God to be troubled about what is to come, impatience against God to be troubled with what is present; and anger at God to be troubled for what is past
110. A Bible in the hand is worth two in the bookcase
111. We believe on UFO's: Unity, Forgiveness and Outreach
112. If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd!
113. If you pause to think you'll have cause to thank
114. Trade God your pieces for His peace
115. When you get tired talking to your friend about God, talk to God about your friend
116. Holiness is not the way to Jesus. Jesus is the way to holiness
117. The 'Promised Land' is always on the other side of the wilderness
118. Satan can't bring you down any further than your knees
119. Life is fragile, handle with prayer
120. Prayer doesn't make the morning come faster, but it sure makes the night seem shorter
121. If you're far from God in life you'll be far from God in death
122. If you don't avoid the bait you'll end up on the hook
123. The Devil wants to control you; God wants to lead you
124. Keep your head and your heart pointed in the right direction and you won’t have to worry about your feet
125. This battle is not yours – it's the Lords!

I'll post another set tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed these and that at least one of them caught your eye and gave you something to think about.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006


So I'm almost late with the HDQ for Wednesday.

Ok, my question is...what is your first memory of me or your favorite memory of me?


How did you find this blog? I always like to know how people found me.

Since I've only met about .001% of my blog readers (the only ones I have met are my writer friends here in Austin or relatives. LOL!), if you choose to answer the first question, chances are it will be a first memory of me.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

New series on my new blog

I have started a new series on my prophecy blog regarding the different views of the Rapture. You can reach it by clicking the link directly under my profile if you're interested.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Ask Nic Q&A Part Tres

One of the funniest, sweetest, kindest and most genuine people I know in the blogsphere is next. Susie is someone who is full of heart, full of kindness and compassion for others, full of sass and P&V and I just think she's the bees knees. She has had some wonderful posts that will have you laughing so hard you will either cry, laugh until you cry or pee your pants - or both. She is a family therapist and often has amusing stories about her own dear family on her blog. Sweet Ms. Susie Sunshine asked me her question, which was:

In your best daydreams, what do you see yourself doing 5 years from now? What is your life like, who is in it, how do you earn a living, where, everything? :)

Nic's Answer: Oh sure SusieQ, go for the easy question why don't you?! ;^) I haven't really daydreamed or taken time to do so in, well, years other than to make a list of the kind of person I'm looking for in my next venture into the love pond(?), love market(?), love quest(?)...well whatever it is. You have just given me the opportunity to take a few minutes to do so, so please bear with me as I try to do your question justice, even though it sounds like an interview question, but unlike the interview questions, I can actually work with this one. ROFL!!!

WARNING: the following contains copious amounts of purple prose b/c it's my daydream darn it! (And it's NOT a sample of my professional writing either; it just is as it comes out of me)

•.•´¨ ¨))
¸.•´ .•´¨¨))
..•´ .• .•
((¸¸.•´ ..•´
-:¦:- ((¸¸
•.•-:¦:-DOO-DEH-LOO-DOO-DOO-DEH-LOO-DOO ((¸¸.••´¨¨))-:¦:- (making the Wayne and Garth noise and wavy hand movements)

Time: 5 years from now in my “wildest” daydreams
Scene: Interior of a large log cabin and limestone house

Nic is standing in the kitchen which is complete with commercial grade stainless steel appliances including a Subzero recessed fridge and a Wolf 48" Gas range top stove with dual convection ovens, slate floors, natural oak cabinets, marble counter tops and a huge island in the middle which doubles as a breakfast bar. The walls are painted a light peach color, so light that you can hardly see the color, but it adds warmth to the kitchen. The skylights let the sun in over head and the French style doors are open, leading to the deck in the back yard.

The kitchen itself is HUGE, taking up what would probably have been the entire kitchen, living room and dining room area of where she used to live (which in an 1100 square foot place it ain't that hard to do). Along with the doors, the windows are open letting in the cool spring breeze as it carries with it the fresh scent of pine, roses, basil and rosemary from the trees and bushes that are outside in the yard and the basil and rosemary pots that are setting on the window sills. She walks over to the doors to watch her daughters playing in the back yard.

It's the end of Spring Break and she can hear Emily, who is now 9, playing outside with her younger sister, 3 year old Hannah Grace. The sound of her children's laughter makes her eyes water with tears of happiness at how abundantly she’s been blessed. Who would have thought that five years ago she was depressed, going through a painful divorce and rather lonely and empty feeling on the inside wondering if she would ever be able to find someone who would love her for her and be everything she had dreamed of?

Nic walks over to the Subzero fridge and gets out some wonderfully tart-sweet raspberry lemonade. Oh! Baby #3 likes it too and moves around doing a little happy dance. She's secretly glad that it's a little boy this time. She's always wanted a little boy even though her daughters are the lights of her life!

Nic takes a pitcher of the lemonade, cups and warm, homemade cookies fresh from the oven and brings them out to her two precious girls, setting the snack and drink on the wrought iron table set on the large wood deck that overlooks their rather expansive, perfectly landscaped and manicured backyard. As the girls run up to the large wood deck, she sits down in a very comfortable high back coil spring chair. She talks to Emily and Hannah and smiles as they in turn put their faces up to her rather big belly and talk to the little life inside. They giggle as the baby moves around from hearing their voices. He can't wait to come out and meet them, and they can't wait for him to get here. She gives them tons of hugs and kisses and then as she watches them go back to playing she works on her laptop which she had brought outside earlier.

She writes stories now. Popular stories of all kinds. Some are stories that help other women through what she went through and help them to find strength in their relationship with God instead of trying to find their self-worth in a man. Some are children's books based on her own children and the questions they ask about life and God and just things kids want to know the answer to. She is currently writing a romance now. It’s about a single mother who finds the love that she always dreamed of finding. Someone who would complete her, be the other half of herself. An autobiographical romance? Well maybe a little bit of it is but most of it is not.

Nic no longer works outside the home and, thanks to the affluence of her husband, is now a stay at home mom in a luxurious 7,000 square foot, 5 bedroom home that has an awesome Jacuzzi garden tub in the master bathroom and a heated pool in part of their 2 acre back yard that is the manicured portion of the 425 acres the house sits on about 40 miles from the mountains. There’s a rifle range, a horse barn complete with horses and a stream further out on their property where the prettiest bunch of wildflowers grow. They regularly take the girls camping on their property for a weekend and even have good old fashioned country/Celtic dances in the warmer weather at the pavilion on their property several hundred yards from the house. She has a new minivan with the automatic doors and tailgate, stow and go seats, dual DVD players and a voice activated navigation system, something she's always wanted but never had in her other minivan.

Nic hears footsteps on the deck behind her and shivers run down her arms and back as a kiss is placed on the side of her neck.

"Miss me much?" a low voice softly rumbles in her ear.

"Always", she replies with a smile and leans back into a strong embrace as her husband wraps his arms around her and places his hands on her belly. He grins as the baby kicks at his hands.

"Active today isn't he?” her husband chuckles.

"You have no idea. What are you doing home so early?" It is only about 1:00 in the afternoon.

"It's such a beautiful day and I thought that with my three beautiful girls sitting there back at home it would be a shame to waste a day like today cooped up inside. So I left for the afternoon to spend an extended weekend with my family. You and Jr. up for steak and potatoes tonight?"

Nic laughs, "When am I ever NOT up for steak and potatoes?! You grill and I'll do potatoes. The girls can make cookie ice cream sandwiches for dessert."

Her husband stands up all the way as the girls come running over shrieking as he lifts them both into the air and swings them around. Her husband is kind, honest, faithful, a devoted husband and father. He is generous to a fault and loves giving to others. It doesn’t hurt that he is good with money and is nice to look at, but that was never so very important to her. What matters to her is that he is her best friend, that he truly cherishes her and makes her feel loved; makes her feel like she has finally found a place to call home with him that she has someone who can be strong for her instead of her having to be strong for everyone else. She also likes that there’s a little bit of a rebel in him too with the couple of tats that he has and the big rumbling motorcycle he rides for fun. It’s, dare she say it(?)...sexy.

Yes, life is good, beautiful even. She even got to have her trip to Ireland and Scotland - twice. The first time for their honeymoon and the second time with Emily. Hannah Grace was the little souvenir that they discovered about two months later that they had taken home on that trip.

Emily goes to a private, as in Christian, school and is excelling in her classes. She's even a year ahead for her age. She loves swimming, soccer, dance and horseback riding and she really enjoys the time that she gets to go back to Austin and spend with her daddy, Matt (who no longer has anything to do with the girl he had been living with after he discovered that she indeed had intended to have him for herself when he was still married to Nic), his parents, siblings and nieces and nephews, though she doesn't get to see her older brother Brian very often as he is away at college. She is active in the children's choir at their church and loves her mommy "like a garden with many beautiful flowers". Emily is only a few inches shorter than Nic now. Definitely has her dad's height.

Nic's mom moved with her when Nic got married b/c they share an unbreakable bond. One would really kind of be lost without the other. She now lives in a house of her own 5 miles away, retired and loves being able to see her grandkids grow up. Every now and then she goes on the Gaither cruises with Marty and Darrell, her best friends. She enjoys being able to go home every year to see her family. Nic and the kids and her husband make a point to try and get there every year as well. He really likes her quirky, close-knit relatives.

Nic keeps in touch with her two dearest friends in the world on a weekly basis, sometimes more. MC is 41 now, married to the man of her dreams, has two amazing young children of her own and is living a wonderfully fabulous and fulfilling life as one of the Executive Vice President's of the national company she and Nic both started out with 16 years ago. She still dazzles everyone who meets her with her beauty, her kindness, her unbelievable wit and her charm.

Her other dear friend Amy, though not married, is living a very happy life with the man she considers her soul mate. They may live a Kurt and Goldie life or they may get married...someday. Due to some serious breakthroughs with autism, her oldest son Brian is beginning to learn to live a healthy and productive life and things only look uphill from here for him. Her youngest son Gavin is still an unbelievable flirt and the class favorite with all the girls and he's not even in high school yet. She is a multi-award winning, best selling author whose hotter than HOT paranormal romances fly off the shelves almost faster than they can be stocked. Nic thinks Amy has some magic in her fingers and reads every special copy that Amy personally sends her way in less than 3 hours. Nic laughs with both of them about the different struggles they all went through around the same time back in 2005/2006 and realizes that true friendship is made even stronger in adversity and she so thankful for them. She’s even thankful for the thorns among the roses b/c they allowed her to more fully appreciate the abundance of blessings that she has been given after years of struggle and heartache.

Nic also is very proud of her friend, Chris, who has become the new Suze Brockmann with her popular action adventure romances. She always knew that Chris could do it and the success is very, very sweet for Nic to see. Chris now lives in Scotland and is married to a genuine Scottish laird that she met on a trip over there. They stayed up all night talking in a pub and he just fell for Chris's wit and personality and asked her to marry him within a month of meeting her. She's been there ever since. Sometimes she misses the kids she used to teach back in Austin, but she gets over it real quick.

Nic still blogs on an almost daily basis and has finally dealt with doing dishes in the dishwasher. She never dislike doing dished in the dishwasher but she always hated doing dishes by hand. And of course, there is a maid that comes three times a week to clean and do laundry.

Life is very, very good. Thank you God.

•.•´¨ ¨))
¸.•´ .•´¨¨))
..•´ .• .•
((¸¸.•´ ..•´
-:¦:- ((¸¸
•.•-:¦:-DOO-DEH-LOO-DOO-DOO-DEH-LOO-DOO ((¸¸.••´¨¨))-:¦:-

SIGH...*SNIFF-SNIFF* That was lovely. SIGH. Let me take a moment.
Ok, back to reality.

Emily actually said that she loved me like a garden full of beautiful flowers on Thursday night so I had to add that into my dream. She just melts me! So Susie I think that in your profession you can see that I’m not looking to break out into something wild, I’m dreaming and yearning for a stable family life, for a love that exceeds my expectations and far eclipses my previous experiences as well as the ability to do what I always wanted to do ever since I was a little girl, which was be a SAHM. My wildest dreams aren’t really so wild. LOL! I had my wild days in my early 20’s and wouldn’t go back there for the world. Too much drinking and partying, too many hangovers, too much superficiality, not enough grounded reality. Thank you my friend for giving me the opportunity to take a moment and dream about what my future could possibly be someday. You’re my own faux fairy godmother. LOL!


The next question is from a very neat guy. He is a single father and in law enforcement in California. He is smart, loves God greatly, loves to praise the Lord using his mighty voice in song and is full of compassion. It is with joy that I introduce you to Mike J.

Mike’s question is from the perspective of someone who has gone through what I am going through currently and is curious about my perspective on it.

Mike asked:

How are your Christian friends/pastors/mentors, etc, dealing with your decision to divorce? I got many different responses from my friends and pastors, most of them supportive, a few of them not so much so. I'm wondering if there is anything in particular that someone has told you that has brought comfort, or set your mind at ease, or maybe set you to re-think anything in light of a new insight?

Nic’s Answer: Wanting me to dig a little deep there aren’t ya buddy? Just kidding, Mike. Whew, ok, this answer requires a bit of digressing and exposition at points in order to get it all out.

I have yet to have one Christian friend/pastor/mentor/counselor say that I made the wrong decision. They all know what my story is and they all have seen the toll it has taken on me and Emily and my mom and down to a single one they all said “It’s about time” or “What took you so long?”. My pastor let me know that he hates divorce but that he felt that I had given Matt ample time (over two years of separation), that I had given him the chance to work on things but that when Matt went back to that girl that even God was giving me Biblical grounds for divorce. (Here comes the digression and exposition part).

Paul, in 1 Cor. 7:10-16, speaks to those who are married to unbelievers, encouraging them to stay together, working to bring their partners to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. The apostle Peter also encourages wives of unbelievers to work to win their husbands to the Lord (1 Peter 3:1-2). Obviously, religiously mixed marriages are not the ideal situation. In fact, there are serious problems involved with such unions, and many are destined to fail. Nevertheless, they do exist, and Christians who find themselves in such circumstances should do their best to bring a positive influence to these relationships.

However, that being said, 1 Cor 7:15 gives one of the rare Biblical grounds for a believer to get divorced (the other is adultery, well I guess I actually had both of those then). But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. Matt said that he wanted to work on the marriage and said that he didn’t want to end it, but his actions, by going back to that girl proved otherwise. He decided to do his own thing by moving back in with her and so I let him and filed for divorce. I got too tired of coming in third in his life behind Emily and another female. As Paul says, "God has called us to live in peace" and Matt and I can not live in peace at this time b/c we don't even see the situation the same way and he will not let go of her and I will not tolerate him even having any kind of relationship with her. It's either her or me and he chose her.

Paul also admonishes Christians to not yoke themselves to unbelievers in 2 Cor 6:14-15. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial (the Devil)? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? Paul is talking about the partnership of moral opposites: What do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (v. 14) . The believer and the unbeliever are driven by a different set of values, the one characterized by righteousness, the other by lawlessness. There are no shared values because the one follows God's will and the other does not. So there can be no real partnership between them.

I chose who I wanted to marry instead of waiting for who God had in mind for me and the deterioration of my marriage was the end result b/c while I saw something wrong in my husband spending time with a girl in her teens that he worked with, carrying on conversations at all times of the day and night with her, going out with her, and while I saw something very wrong with a young girl who would choose a married man with a young child as her confidant , party partner and consoler, neither one of them saw anything wrong with it at all. If either one of them were Christians in any sense of the word, their relationship would never have happened as it did.

Now that also being said, I did not do as Paul encouraged which was to have believing wives work on winning their unbelieving husbands for Christ. Yes I prayed for him on a constant basis but that was about it. I do bear responsibility for the things that I did or did not do in the relationship which only served to further deteriorate it. Matt doesn’t bear all of the responsibility for the end of the marriage and it would not be fair of me to say that he did. However, the last several months it felt and became clear that I was the only one who seemed to still be interested in saving the marriage.

To answer your second question, the comfort I draw is from my growing relationship with the Lord and with my daughter as she grows older. I draw comfort from the love and support of my mom and from my friends who encourage me to not give in to the depression, the hurt and the pain that shadows me on almost a daily basis. Nobody has said anything to me that really has stood out b/c I don’t talk about this in depth with too many people.

I will always have deep regret over the end of my marriage; I will always have love for Matt in my heart. Divorce is an ugly and painful thing for someone who expects to be married to that person forever and thinks that they can work through anything, only to find out otherwise.

Mike, great, great questions. Thanks so much for asking them and allowing me to get my position out there as to why any Christian would ever choose to divorce, especially as I had a commentor back at the beginning of December who asked "Wasn't the Christian view of divorce to not get divorced?".
The next person to ask me a question is also a fellow Texan who lives about 3 hours away. She is a true blue blogfriend. Someoe who has been sweet and kind and has always been willing to lend a virtual ear to me. It's great to know that there are people in the world like her who care so deeply about others that she is willing to be there for them even though she has never met them in person. Hopefully some day there will be time to grab a few hours to meet in person. epiphany asked me:

What do you love most about being a Christian?
What do you love most about being a mother?

Nic's Answer's: Hmmmm, this one required some thought on the first question but I came up with a few answers b/c on both quesions there is not just one thing that I could answer as the top thing. What I like best about being a Christian is (in no particular order):
1. I have someone who listens to me 24/7, who is never too tired to let me talk to them, who always is interested in my worries, my concerns, my fears, my tears, my hurts, my anger, my sadness, who understands what I really need deep down. God is NEVER too tired, too busy, too preoccupied or too uninterested to listen to me.
2. In being a Christian I know that my future is secure. I know that whether I die before I am called Home or if I'm still here when Jesus comes to collect His bride (which are the true Christians) that I'm going to a place where there is no more fear, no more tears, no more sorrows, anger, bitterness or fighting but instead I will be going to a place that is full of love, worship, friends and family who have trusted Jesus as their savior.
3. I know that I will never be alone and even though I stray from God, He will never turn His back on me and that no matter what I do, God will always be waiting to welcome me back with open arms. I can never fall beyond God's love.
4. I know that whenever I have a problem that there will always be an answer to be found in the Bible. There really is an answer for everything, every situation in the Bible.
5. It's being able to rely on God always, not just in "emergency" situations. I know that God is there for me always, no matter what.
6. I know that whenever I'm just feeling downright awful inside that I talk to God, even cry to God literally, and I always feel better after. I have a real sense of comfort.
7. Knowing that even though others may shun me b/c of my faith and my beliefs and that even though Jesus himself said that following him wouldn't be easy He did promise that it would be worth it in the end and the end, where we are going (Heaven) is going to be awesome.
8. Knowing that we don't have to worry about the daily things going on in the world that might scare or confuse others who don't have a personal relationship with God b/c I know that God is in control of everything that is going on; and if God is in control of everything it makes me feel special b/c He cares about me too.
9. I know that when I don't feel I have the strength to get through the day or night sometimes b/c of what's going on in my life, that God gives me His strength and I get through just fine always.
10. There is always someone that I can trust to never let me down. I may not understand why God does the things He does but in the end it always works out for the best. Knowing that there is one person out there that truly has my best interests at heart always.

Now on to the next question

What I like best about being a Mommy, well, there's not a one answer for that either and these answers aren't in any particular order either. Most of them have to do with what I like best about Emily (which is everything, but I've taken just a few parts) b/c without Emily I would not be a mommy. I have always wanted to be a mommy and being one is the culmination of a lifelong dream. I love Emily's laughter, her smiles and giggles, her sweetness and loving to be "cuddled", her imagination, her creativity, her smell, her hugs, her kisses, her singing, her stories, the love that she has for God and her desire to constantly know more. She's always asking me questions about God and the Bible and wants to know more, more, more. I love her enthusiasm, her kind heart and gentle spirit. I love putting her to bed at night and hearing her prayers and reading her stories and singing her songs. It's our special time together to talk about God. I love praying for her and with her to become the kind of young Christian woman that God wants her to be. I love her excitement about things. Best of all, I love knowing that b/c she has trusted Jesus as her Savior at such a young age that no matter what happens to us on earth, that we will be reunited together again in Heaven. That's the most comforting thought.

Thanks dear Epiphany for the great questions! I really enjoyed answering them. :)

The last set of questions comes from a very dear friend, the self-described XXXL Hippie, my favorite Mark Spurrier; AKA THE Great White Bear. GWB and I are total POLAR opposites theologically, politically, ideologically and other “allys” too, but he has a heart as big as Texas. We have found common ground in some very surprising ways like Celtic music, Guinness and hockey, along with just really having a concern for humanity in general. Not that that last part is surprising. LOL! GWB is one person that I could have a VERY lively debate with on just about everything and still come out of it with no hard feelings at all. He is a sweet person, though he would probably choke to hear me say that(!), and really has a heart of gold. I adore him! He is a proud father and grandfather and a true blue friend. :)

So many questions... let’s go with:
1. If you could have dinner with one historical (non biblical) person, who would it be?

2. Are your romantic fantasies more likely to involve someone famous, or someone with whom you are familiar?

3. Guinness room temp or refrigerated?

Nic’s Answers :
1. Oh, that is a difficult one, my friend. There are some really recently deceased people that died in the last century that I would love to dine with, Mother Theresa being one, Gandhi another as well as Marilyn Monroe (I would tell her that she has her sense of self worth all wrong. It isn’t found in man. Maybe should wouldn’t have made the mistakes she made then and ended up dead at such a tragically young age), but I don’t really count those as historical in the true sense of the word. Hmmmmm, and since you did say historical, I can’t say you. LOL. Thinking, thinking, thinking...

I would then have to say probably Thomas Jefferson so that I could get a definitive answer from his mouth that other could hear on his letter that contained the phrase the wall of separation between church and state. I know what I believe he meant, which is not what the ACLU believes that he meant, but I would like to hear it from his own words. Rather than being the ACLU’s best friend, the real Thomas Jefferson really was the ACLU’s worst nightmare. He was not the atheistic, anti-God/Christian person that the ACLU and other groups like People for the American Way often portray him as being, far from it actually.

What Thomas Jefferson's did as President may actually surprise you and can be historically verified. Among other things his Presidency did was:
* Established a national seal using a biblical symbol;
* Included the word “God” in our national motto;
* Established official days of fasting and prayer-at least on the state level;
* Protected the property of churches;
* Required oaths saying "So Help Me God" to be taken on the Bible;
* Ensure that treaties required other nations to guarantee religious freedom, including religious speeches and prayer in official ceremonies.

2. Wait, I have time for romantic fantasies? Nobody told me that! LOL. ;^)

Actually in my romantic daydreams I think about someone I haven’t even met yet. Don’t have a name or a face but just a man made up of the characteristics and qualities I’m looking for. To me, the unknown is easier to dream about than the everyday known variables. Why put a real life face to a fantasy? It’s so limiting! Oh there are some qualities that I’ve incorporated from past relationships, but it’s mostly things that I look for and they’re not even “amorous” in nature. It’s more like I want someone to massage my shoulders or tickle my back (a BIG weakness of mine!), that will let me play with their hair or let me wrap my arms around them as they sit in front of me but are reclined against me (if that makes any sense). I want someone who will go and listen to a Celtic rock band that I enjoy, not necessarily b/c they like it but b/c I like it, someone who will go to Highland games with me and watch the pipe and drum bands and the dancers. I would go to baseball and basketball games with that person b/c even though I’m not a baseball or basketball fan I would go b/c they wanted to go and I would cheer right along with them.

I want someone who is patriotic, who puts their hands over their hearts when they hear the Pledge of Allegiance, who sings the Star Spangled Banner, who respects veterans of all wars and who supports all of our men and women in uniform serving now. I want someone who sings hymns at church and who enjoys a good sermon and who will take me to Scotland and Ireland for my dream vacation – at least twice. The first time just us and the second time with Emily. I want someone with good character, integrity and old fashioned values who will open the car door for me, pull my chair out for me to sit down, hold my hand and show some PDA around my family and out in public, who will slow dance with me to the radio at home, someone who wouldn’t make me buy my own wedding ring – unlike last time (that should have been a clue), someone who adores Emily and loves her like his own, someone who prays with me, laughs at my corny jokes, who enjoys talking to me and who, frankly, just enjoys being with me and who likes me in spite of my flaws - and I'm not talking physical flaws either.

I'm talking the kind that some days just wants to lounge in bed and not do housework, the kind where I don’t pick up clothes for a couple of days or wash dishes for a week sometimes. The kind that will get engrossed in writing and will want to be sequestered for a few hours when I have a creative streak going on. The kind that gets grumpy and snappy and short when my feelings have been hurt or who gets sassy and spirited (no pun intended) when I’ve had just a little too much to drink (which is rare b/c I almost never drink anymore) and who is usually running about 15 minutes late for just about everything except work, church, Emily’s school and movies. I don’t need flash, I don’t want fancy, it’s the simple, old fashioned things I’m looking for. That's what my romantic fantasies involve.

3. Both. DUH!! Wait, was that supposed to be a trick question? ;^)

My favorite Mark Spurrier, thanks for the great questions! Maybe not quite what you were expecting, but then again it's always fun to be kept on my toes by you and give you answers you weren't anticipating. :) You, my friend, are a joy!
Ok, so that's all that for this very first Ask Nic Q&A post. Thank you all for the wonderful questions! I had so much fun answering them. They all were great questions from great people. :) This will be a regular feature so come back often to see when the next Ask Nic has in store and to ask more questions if you want! Thanks for reading and continuing to come back!

Friday, January 20, 2006

Ask Nic Q&A Part Duex

Yesterday, or actually very early this morning I posted part one of the Ask Nic Q&A. They were some really great questions. Well this post is no less great! :) I've been having so much fun with this, really! So lets just go ahead and jump in with Ask Nic Q&A Part Duex.

Next up is a good old Texas boy, er man, and fellow romance writer (hopefully someday the “writer” will be changed to “author”) John who is also known as Duke_of_Earle. John is kind and compassionate and has some really funny stuff on his blog. He is a devoted and loving husband and father who takes his family every year to ski at Winter Park – John you rock my man! That is THE BEST place to go skiing. :^D John asked...

OK, Nic, I want to know more about the romance novels you've written -- since I've written one, and am still working towards the dream of publication. Are yours fantasies, autobiographical, historical (maybe hysterical?), or what? What got you started? Tell as much or as little on the subject as you like.

Nic’s Answer: Ok, so I’ve never actually disciplined myself to sit down and finish a manuscript, even though I know how each and every one ends. I have written a couple hundred pages on each one and then find myself getting bored or my characters won’t talk to me anymore. I started writing b/c I thought that if I couldn’t have an HEA or romance in my own life at least I could write about it and put my wishes on paper for someone else to have the HEA that I dream of.

I have one series of four and two stand alones. Most of them are geared for category and not single title, but the series of four are actually geared for a long contemporary and not short contemporary. Yes, this is in industry speak so John will understand it, and probably my friend Lois Lane will too, but not too many outside the industry know what I’m talking about. The series of four revolve around two fraternal twin sisters and two brothers, non-related but are connected through work and friends. The first book is for one of the brothers, the next two are the sister’s stories and the last one is the second brother.

These four stories all have a little different format. The first one is more sweet, an unrequited childhood crush that grows into love after the hero and heroine see each other for the first time in 9 years and are thrown together to help each other out of a couple of humorous, but sticky situations professionally and personally. The second story, the older, more introverted twin’s story, is darker, dealing with the echoes of past abuse and blackmail but you know who the villain is at the beginning, just the hero and heroine don’t and it’s a surprise to them at the end that is complete with the action scenes and an ending that leaves you hanging until you read the epilogue which has the HEA in it. The third book of that series deals with the younger twin who is a real outgoing flirt with a very loyal streak. She and her hero get way off on the wrong foot in the 2nd story, but he ends up being the only one she can trust in her story to help her with the stalker she has acquired. The stalker is a big surprise to everyone at the end. The fourth story is the brother of the hero in the first story and it’s a story of unwanted feelings and the bonds that are created between two people who were not looking for love but found it anyway.

The two stand-alones, one is the story of long lost love and a hidden pregnancy. The man and woman met as college grads, drifted apart through a misunderstanding before she found out she was pregnant. The story is about them meeting unexpectedly 8 years later as he is about to get married and she is a successful business owner and single mom. The second stand alone is much racier about a single woman in a rut after her live-in boyfriend leaves her for a much younger girl/woman (yes, part of this was based on my life). She longs to break out of her ordinary life and a fling with a much talked about movie star in town filming a movie provides her the opportunity to do just that but it provides an surprising twist that the ordinary woman looking for a fun fling and the (confirmed bachelor) movie star find a love that they never expected. That one was targeted for the Blaze line, but I just couldn’t bring myself to finish it b/c while I can certainly write some really hot, ahem, scenes, that’s not really the way I want others to see me. I don’t want to be known as the author who can write coughsexcough. I’m more than that and I have more to offer in my writing than that which is why I am now working on writing my story, my autobiography, if you will, about everything I have been though since childhood to let others know that there is life after the tough times and if I can get through those things, including a neighbor-attempted molestation as a child, anyone can.

Anyway, like you wanted to know what the stories were about, I’m sure. LOL!

I could never write anything but contemporary b/c I’m not interested in writing any other kind of romance, other than paranormal, but I read all kinds of romance.

Good question John. Maybe this will help me to get out of that romance rut and start writing again. :^) Don’t ever give up on your dream. You’ll get there some day and I’ll be waiting in line on your book tour to get a copy signed!!
My next questioner is a really neat guy. He has an entertainment resume that is longer than most actors’ resumes. Not only is he fascinating, funny and a fantastic blog writer, but he is kind, caring and encouraging. He’s my personal blog cheerleader who always brings a smile to my face with his comments. Friends, blogreaders, I give you Mr. Michael Manning, who asked:

Okay Nic: What was the last concert you attended and did you enjoy the music?

Nic’s Answer: I will not be ashamed of my answer on this one, though others can be ashamed for me! The last concert I attended was......... Yanni. It was a Christmas present to my mom in 2003 (his concert was early 2004). I took her and her best friend Marty, who is my “other mother” (her husband is my “other daddy”) to go see him. We had 12th row seats just slightly left of center - like 4 seats left of direct center, and really, really enjoyed him. He was fun, witty, entertaining, interactive and very high energy. He was a real firecracker. We really loved his concert! Of course my mom and Marty love his smile. That’s just about all they could talk about after. LOL! My personal favorite of his is “Aria” with the two sopranos singing against each other. It’s ethereal, beautiful and enchanting. In fact I’m humming it now as I type this. It’s been used in several commercials since the 90’s when it became very popular.

Whew! A short answer for once. ROFL!
The next person to volunteer to do this Ask Nic session is a delightful young lady who knows who she is, knows what her life is about and has herself very together. Believe me when I say that her blog name suits her to a tee. She is astute, bright, deep and not ashamed to let others see her light shine. I had the good fortune to have her visit my blog in December and she and I have frequented each other’s blogs ever since. I just wish I had her presence, her common sense and self awareness when I was her age. I call her “M” b/c it is the first initial of her name but in the blogsphere she goes by no_average_girl. M asked me:

what is the one most important decision you've ever made - well, other than accepting Christ? How did you make it? Why did you make it? Did anyone, anything, or any circumstances help you make that decision?


what is the best and worst choices you've ever made?

Nic’s Answer: What really good questions, M. Hmmm, the most important decision I have ever made, without a doubt, was to have and keep Emily. In my mind there was NEVER any doubt that I would keep her. Matt and I had been broken up for several months but were still living together and all that entails when I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked and stunned. I had been “taking precautions” to ensure I wouldn’t get pregnant and had been for 10 years and yet here I was showing up pregnant. To me life is a gift. It is precious and it is a miracle. The though never once entered my mind to have an abortion or to give my baby up for adoption. If Matt didn’t want any part of it then I was going to do it alone.

I have always been against abortion b/c my own biological mother could have aborted me. She was 3 months pregnant with me when Roe v. Wade was passed; her parents told her she could have an abortion, give the baby up for adoption and not be allowed in their house until then or keep the baby and be disowned. I owe my life to her decision to go through with the pregnancy and give me up for adoption.

I would never choose to kill my own baby, which is exactly what abortion is without the whitewashing. A choice to kill a baby, to take a life b/c one doesn’t want to take responsibility for one’s own actions. I believe that if you make the choice to have sex then you must take responsibility for that choice and the consequences that go with it. Most abortions in this country, as a proven, documented fact, are not for “medical” reasons but are used for birth control b/c someone didn’t want to take responsibility for their decision to have sex and the resulting pregnancy that came from their decision.

It has been documented in studies that the majority of women who have had an abortion and thought it was a good idea, end up a couple, a few or several years down the road with PASS - Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome, and have to go into therapy and/or counseling in order to live with their decisions. A New Zealand study reveals that young women who have an abortion have a higher risk of mental health problems, including depression, suicidal tendencies and attempts, anxiety and drug and alcohol abuse, than women who continue with their pregnancies. In fact 42% of women who have had abortions suffered major depression at some stage--a third higher than those who continued with their pregnancies and double that of those who had never fallen pregnant. On top of that here are some further medical conditions that can occur after an abortion:

•"According to the 1992 Hospital Discharge Summary . . . there were 27,000 hospitalizations for missed abortion, 8,000 hospitalizations for incomplete abortion, as well as 14,000 hospitalizations for complications, and 7,000 hospitalizations for genital tract and pelvic infections following abortion and ectopic and molar pregnancies." (Strahan, "Legal liability for physical injury or infection following induced abortion," Research Bulletin 9:3, March/April 1996)
•Repeat abortion is associated with 2-2.5 fold increase in low birth weight and short gestation in subsequent pregnancies when compared with either one live birth or one abortion. (World Health Organization, Special Program of Research, Development and Research Training in Human Reproduction: 7th Annual Report, Geneva, 11/78)
•Women who had two or more induced abortions are 2.7 times more likely to have future first trimester miscarriages and 3.2 times more likely to have a second trimester incomplete abortion than women with no history of induced abortion. (Levin et al, "Association of induced abortion with subsequent pregnancy loss," JAMA 243:2495, 6/27/80)
•Women with two or more prior abortions have a relative risk of 2.3 for secondary infertility, and women with one abortion had a relative risk of 2.1 compared to women with no abortion history. (Tzonou et al, "Induced abortions, miscarriages, and tobacco smoking as risk factors for secondary infertility," Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health 47:36, 1993)
•Twenty-eight out of 37 studies published since 1957 link abortion with breast cancer. Sixteen out of 17 statistically significant studies report an increased risk. For more information on the link between abortion and breast cancer, visit the Coalition on Abortion/Breast Cancer website.
•A review and analysis of available studies on abortion and breast cancer concluded that abortion raises a woman's lifetime risk of breast cancer by approximately one-third. The literature "documents a remarkably consistent, significant positive association between abortion and breast cancer incidence." (Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, October 1996)
•A study of African American women found an increased odds ratio for breast cancer if they had a history of induced abortions. (Laing et al, "Breast cancer risk factors in African-American women: the Howard University tumor registry experience," Journal of the National Medical Association 85:931, 12/93)
•The rate of mortality from legal abortions and abortion related deaths from 1977 to 1982 was 0.6 per 100,000 abortion procedures for white women and 1.8 per 100,000 abortion procedures for African American women or women of other races. (Atrash et al, "Legal abortion mortality in the U.S., 1972-1982," American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology 156:611, 3/87)
•Another study showed a 2.3 relative risk for cancer of the cervix for women with one abortion and a 4.92 relative risk for women reporting two or more induced abortions compared with women with no prior abortion history. (Le et al, "Oral contraceptive use and breast or cervical cancer: Preliminary results of a French case-control study," in Hormones and Sexual Factors in Human Cancer Etiology, Wolff and Scott, eds. Excerpta Medica, NY, 1984, pp. 139-147)
•Induced abortion by suction curettage (the most common kind) is directly implicated in the spread of sexually transmitted diseased into the uterine cavity, causing Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. PID is a major cause of infertility, chronic pelvic pain, ectopic pregnancy, and death. (Avonts et al, "Genital infections in women undergoing therapeutic abortion," European Journal of Obstetrics 20:3, 1985)

Sorry, I’m on my soap box there and that’s probably a WHOLE LOT MORE than you ever wanted to know! LOL!

Now for your second question:

Best choice? See above about Emily. Worst choice? Wow, there are so many bad choices that I’ve made in my life but the top answer all leads to the bad choices I've made in my life. The worst choice I made was to deliberately turn my back on God’s will for my life, to do my own thing instead of following God’s plan for my life, which is nothing more than to obey Him and follow where He leads me. From there, the second worst choice I made was to have sex outside of marriage. It causes too much heartache and too many problems down the road when you sleep with multiple partners other than the one that God chose for you inside of marriage. TRUST ME, I know what I'm talking about on this one. I wish I would have waited until marriage. It's true that every person you have sex with you also have sex with everyone they've ever had a sexual relationship with and so forth and so on. If one person has an STD it gets passed around to everyone they have had sex with and then gets passed on to everyone their partners have had sex with and on and on and on. I am very thankful though to have never, ever have gotten any kind of STD at all. Did you know that a study done by The Heritage Foundation shows that 25.3% of the girls that participated in the study and were sexually active said that they experienced depression all, most or a lot of the time as opposed to only 7.7% of non-sexually active teenage girls who said that they experienced depression all, most or a lot of the time. Information is also shown in the online journal Medical News Today and is discussed in depth in a great commentary by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.

Excellent questions darling M. Sorry for the sex ed class there, but there is so much to be said on those subjects. That you seek to learn from others mistakes and/or successes shows great wisdom for someone your age. Keep it up dear one. I'm proud of you for making your stand!

Ok, that's it for this post. Probably more info than you ever wanted to know health-wise. LOL.

You DEFINITELY DON'T want to miss the final installment of Ask Nic Q&A! I got a chance to write about where I see myself in 5 years in my wildest daydreams, a beer preference and more! I can't wait for you to get to know the next group of people in this Q&A and to read my responses to what they had to ask. See ya in the next post!

Ask Nic Q&A Part One

As stated in the Ask Nic post, I have compiled the questions that were either posted or emailed to me. I have edited some of the text around the questions for length, but the questions themselves did not change.

The questions asked were so good that most of them prompted lengthy answers in order to get everything in that I wanted to say so I am dividing these 10 questions up in order of arrival in the comments section or in my email. We'll get to three questions today, then I will post another set on the weekend and possibly my last set either on Sunday or Monday.

Thank you guys so much for joining in the Ask Nic post. I've had and am still having a lot of fun coming up with the answers to your questions. You guys ROCK! :)
The first question comes from Crouching Mommy Hidden Laundry:

my question--- if Jesus's return will be "like a thief in the night," do you really think we will be able to predict the end of time?

Nic's Answer: CMHL, great question! There is no way to predict the end of time. Only God knows when He will call His followers home. However, that being said, Jesus DID give us signs to look for to let us know when that time will be close. If you read Matthew 24 and Luke 21, you will read the signs of the times that He spoke would precede His return for His church.

Throughout history there have been signs that some other people have pointed to saying "well if these are the signs, they already happened last century...a few centuries ago...in AD70, etc", however, this is the first time in history that all of the signs are coming together in conjunction with each other that gives meaning to the term "the Times of the Signs" which is really more accurate today than the term "the Signs of the Times".

One thing that you CAN be sure of, when the 7 year treaty between Israel and the Middle East is signed (it will be authored and conducted by the man who will come to be known as the antichrist), that from the very moment that it is signed, there will be only 7 more years until God returns to throw Satan, the antichrist and the false prophet into the Pit for 1,000 years (the Millennial Reign) AND to send all of those who followed the antichrist and the false prophet into the lake of fire. During those 7 years the treaty will be broken 3½ years into it and every person who did not accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior and as the Son of God prior to the rapture, but trusted Jesus after the rapture will be in for a very tough time. Anyone who does not take the mark of the beast in their hand or forehead (many people are thinking RFID technology) will be put to death.

You can read a lot more about this very subject on my new blog, which is As My World Turns Prophecy Style. Also some great books to read about it are Late Great Planet Earth (all of the books in their variations) by Hal Lindsey and some great websites to go to for more in-depth, Biblically sound information are www.raptureready.com and www.harpazo.net. Some of the more prophetic books of the Bible (not a complete list, or even in order, but those that contain prophecies that are really relevant to today) are Daniel, Joel, Zephaniah, Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Zechariah, Malachi, parts of Matthew and Luke (as noted above), 1 and 2 Thessalonians - which talks about the second coming of Christ, 2 Peter, Jude and Revelation.

Whenever God speaks, it's important for us to pay attention. And whenever God repeats Himself again and again, we should really sit up and take notice. That's because He's trying to tell us something He doesn't want us to miss.

With that in mind, did you know the second coming of Jesus Christ is mentioned 318 times in the New Testament? And that 28 percent of the Bible is dedicated to prophecy? That's more than any other subject. Do you think that God was trying to tell us something by putting that much of it in the entire Bible?

For more perspective, consider this: There are over 100 prophecies in the Bible about Jesus' first coming. If God has given us triple that number of prophecies about the second coming in the New Testament alone, wouldn't you say He wants us to take notice?

The second coming is the second most-dominant theme in the New Testament (the first is the doctrine of salvation by grace through faith). It's mentioned in almost all the New Testament books, sometimes extensively. One verse out of every 30 points to the second coming, or Jesus' glorious appearing. If the second coming of Jesus is that important to God, then it should be important to us, too.

Ok, sorry for the long response, but this happens to be something that I have studied for the past (almost) 4 years. It is a passion of mine and as the time draws nearer, I have more of a need to tell people about it, hence my second blog.

Again, CMHL, that was a GREAT question and thanks for asking it! :)
The next question comes from Jean-Luc Picard who is very gracious to take the time to stop by from his extremely busy duties with Starfleet.

What event, or reason made you decide to take up blogging?

Nic's Answer:Well, that's a little more personal there! I started the blog in October of 2004 with the thought of journaling as suggested by the marriage counselor that I was seeing. Notice I said that I was seeing. Matt went a couple of times and stopped going. I think part of it was b/c the counselor made Matt admit responsibility for his actions instead of letting Matt get by with the statement that he acted as he did b/c of my actions toward him, which was based on his partying and drinking and the constant communication and going out with the 19-year-old female coworker of his that he eventually ended up moving in with.

I tried keeping a journal at home but it didn't stick so then I thought about blogging and created the site but did nothing with it until March of last year. At that point I had been out of work for about 6 weeks. I had quit my job b/c it was affecting Emily in a detrimental way emotionally b/c I was literally NEVER home. My mom watched Emily for me until I could get there. No job is worth sacrificing family for especially when you're practically a single mother anyway. I was looking for jobs but they weren't coming in and there's only so much housework that can be done in a full day so I decided to fill the time with blogging and haven't looked back. I've made some spectacular blogfriends, such as yourself, over these past several months!

Also, I figured that maybe some of what I was going through/went through could help others and let them know that there is life after betrayal and heartbreak

Thanks for asking Captain Picard! Glad you could take the time to stop by. :)
It is the time and place for intergalactic camaraderie! The every entertaining and wonderfulMaster Yoda sent his intern Bill J., who is perfectly nice and not at all stupid as Master Yoda thinks, to ask a question. Bill asked two, of which I will only answer one b/c, sorry Bill J., but I didn't listen to the Spice Girls even when they were together so I have no basis on which one to identify myself with.

Of all the posts you've written, what would you say you're favorite post is? Why?

-Bill J.
"Master Yoda's Stupid Intern"

Nic's Answer: WOW! That really is a toughie. I've written over 160 posts in the past several months. Ok, so I'll list my favorites, is that ok? I don't have a single one that I can point out.

1. Death and Dear Friends
WHY? : This post was about a dear friend of mine who had been a constant source of encouragement for me from the very start of my problems with Matt. His warmth, his wit, his compassion was unmatched by any that I have known. Wylie Porterfield was a king among men and such a wonderful person. This is the first paragraph of that post:
I received word yesterday that a dear friend, Wylie Porterfield, had finally succumbed to terminal brain cancer. Last year, after going into seizures unexpectedly, an MRI revealed that he had a fist sized brain tumor. Then came the doubly bad news. It was an incredibly malignant tumor. They did surgery and got most of it and what they couldn't get they wrapped in protective foil so that it would inhibit the growth or something like that. The doctors didn't expect him to live much past a couple of months. Well, he lasted almost a year. He was diagnosed in September of last year. In February of this year, after a particularly bad episode, he was given 24-72 hours to live. Miraculously, he recovered. His prayer had been that he wanted to see his son graduate in May. God answered that prayer and gave his family through May and a few weeks past that even.

Wylie has been missed sorely by those who knew him and the bright spot in this is that we know that we will see him again when our turn comes to be called Home to heaven.

2. A Tribute to My Wonderful Mother
WHY? : B/C I love my mom and this post really lets you know how she has ALWAYS been there for me and the amazingly strong bond between us.

3. #3 is, appropriately, a three way tie between But I'm A Good Person..., Who Is Jesus and Why Did He Have To Die and Why Do So Many People Hate Even the Mention of Jesus?.
WHY? : I love these posts b/c they really give you an insight into my spiritual beliefs, which are fully ingrained in my very being.

4. As I Ponder This New Life I Celebrate Yours
WHY? : This post lets you know what a TRUE MIRACLE Emily is and why she is so very important to me! P.S. the picture at the end is NOT of Emily, it is of my dear friend Roshel's baby girl Isabeau.

Well, there are so many more that I liked but I can't post all of them, so my question to you Bill is, what is your favorite post of mine?
Tomorrow we will continue with Ask Nic Q&A Part 2 and get to some more answers. I'm really enjoying this and have decided to have this as a "regular" feature.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Ask Nic

Today we are going to do something different for the return of the HDQ (Humpy Day Question b/c Wednesday is the hump day of the week as in once you get past the hump of Wednesday it's downhill to the weekend!).

Today YOU are going to ask ME a question. Think of something you have wanted to know about me or were just curious about in general. Don’t be concerned about asking me tough or difficult questions or questions you are afraid that I might not answer about myself, my experiences in life and love and parenting, my beliefs, etc... True, as this is my blog it is my prerogative (yes, that is how it is spelled) to not answer questions I don’t feel like answering or even delete comments/questions that I would rather not have on the blog b/c of the nature of said questions or comments, but that probably won’t happen, in fact it's only happened 3 times since I started my blog.

Be creative, be fun, be introspective, but please be clean! If this generates enough questions, this might become a regular feature on my blog. You can post the questions in the comments section or email me your question at asknic@gmail.com.

I will be posting the questions and their responses soon so check back within the next week for them. If I get several before Friday I'll post the questions,responses on Friday or the weekend.

Monday, January 16, 2006

I have updated the prophecy series on my other Blog!

I have finally updated the next part of my prophecy series, the conclusion to "What is so special about this generation anyway and are we it?" is now posted and is the 2nd post from the top.

Many of you may remember that I started the prophecy series here on this blog, and well, as the post below states, I have moved them all over to my new blog for easier finding of topics relating to Bible prophecy.

The series has been updated today on my new blog which focuses solely on Bible prophecy and can be found at As My World Turns - Prophecy Style.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

My NEW Blog

Hello my blogfriends and readers, as many of you know, I've been doing a series on Bible Prophecy but it has been sporadic b/c I've had other things in my own life that I've wanted to blog about. I've been torn about what to do so I decided to create another blog that is dedicated to just Bible prophecy and Christian living. You can find that blog by either going to my profile and clicking on "As My World Turns - Prophecy Style" or by entering the URL http://nicsplaceprophecy.blogspot.com. Also there is a link to it directly under my profile on the sidebar.

Why have I created a separate blog? Well, frankly, for non-regular/linked readers who found me, they did searches on various things. The most searches I've had for my blog aside from "potlatch seasoning" have been about "why do people hate Jesus", "prophecy", "Iraq/Iran in bible Prophecy", "Israel 1948", "what's going on with the weather?"...well, you get the idea. Suprisingly enough, a lot of the searches have been from India, Iraq, Egypt, Hong Kong and other places along the other side of the world. It was easier for me to go ahead and make another blog in order to keep the information about Bible prophecy and how it lines up with current events and what is to come more easy to find on one blog instead of searching through a bunch of personal posts to try and find them.

A friend of mine at work said a couple months ago with the hurricanes that were ripping us apart on the coast, "I'm not a particularly religious person, but I think that someone's trying to get our attention down here." He couldn't be more right about that. It's not a product of Global Warming, it's a product of God's Global WARNING.

The events that are happening today are part of God's plan for the world in the end times.

Hopefully the new blog will allow those who are searching to maybe understand what is going on and that the most impressive part, that these events were foretold as much as 2,500 years ago. It's time to make a stand and make your choice on whose side you want to be on. The new blog will cover posts on Bible prophecy, etc. that were from this blog but have been moved over there so that this blog can focus on my personal life and things I enjoy.

Believe me, some of the things you will read on this blog, if you're not a Christian or if you don't believe in stuff like this, may seem like an episode of the Twilight Zone, but be assured that they are very real, they are coming, they were predicted as far as 2,500 years ago.

I hope you get some understanding from the new blog on what is coming as you continue to enjoy my writings about my life, fun sites to visit, recipes, etc. that will continue to be housed on this blog!

Friday, January 13, 2006

Experts Warn of Impending al-Qaeda Attack

Good morning my blogfriends and readers. There is some important information that I feel I need to impart to you. This information comes from my friend Jack Kinsella of the Omega Letter. He on top of being a Bible scholar and student of Bible prophecy he also is very well connected within the military and at certain levels of government. Jack has a level of integrity that is rarely found today. His information is well researched and well reasoned, in fact he would not put something out there without researching it as much as was possible. He is one of the people I have been getting the information for my prophecy series on. This, however concerns national security rather than Bible prophecy. Will this event happen? I don’t know, but the information in here is true and well researched. I would be thankful if this did not happen, but would like to get this information out there just in case.

May God bless all of you and keep y’all safe.

Experts Warn of Impending al-Qaeda Attack

According to an ABC News report, federal agents are investigating a sudden spike in the sale of unregistered disposable cell phones.

In Midland, an alert Wal-Mart employee contacted federal agents after six individuals of apparent Middle East origin tried to purchase sixty cell phones in one transaction. At least one of the suspects was identified as being from Iraq and another from Pakistan, officials said.

On New Year's Eve, a customer of evident Middle East origin bought 150 disposable 'trac-phones' from a Target Store. Trac-phones are disposable telephones with prepaid minutes already attached.

Other reports have come in from other cities, including Dallas, and from authorities in other states. Authorities in Pennsylvania, New York and other parts of Texas confirmed that they were alerted to the cases, and sources say other jurisdictions were also notified.

The Midland, Texas, arrest report police also identified the individuals as linked to a terror cell:

"Evasive responses provided by the subjects, coupled with actions observed by officers at the onset of the contact prompted the notification of local FBI officials to assist in the investigation," the report said.

"Upon the arrival of special agents, and as a result of subsequent interviews, it was discovered that members of the group were linked to suspected terrorist cells stationed within the Metroplex.

"In addition," says ABC, "special agents reported that similar incidents centering on the large-scale purchases of trac phones had been reported throughout the nation — identifying individuals of Middle-Eastern descent as the purchasers."

This past December, federal officials were called in to investigate the theft of more than four hundred pounds of high-powered plastic explosives from a Sandia National Laboratory bunker.

The missing 400 pounds of explosives includes 150 pounds of what is known as C-4 plastic, or "sheet explosive," which can be shaped and molded and is often used by terrorists and military operatives. Also, 2,500 detonators were missing, making the theft even more significant.

The theft is one of the largest reported cases from a facility in the United States in the last decade ending 2004.


This comes on the heels of the most recent release of an al-Qaeda video starring Ayman al Zawahiri, Osama's number two man. (Or possibly, the number one man, if rumors of Osama's death are accurate)

Released last week, the latest video is the one in which Zawahiri thanks the Left for all their help, saying the partisan fight over troop withdrawal from Iraq handed a victory to Islam.

"If your forces with all its aircraft, missiles, tanks and fleets are moaning, bleeding and looking for an escape from Iraq, then will the hypocrites, conspirators, infidels (the Iraqi government) resist what the 'greatest power in the world' has failed to resist?" al-Zawahiri asked in the video.

According to terrorism experts, the most recent video is part of a pattern, according to Cybercast News Service.

Christopher Brown, who in the past has briefed Department of Defense, State Department, CIA, National Security Council and the White House, noted each Zawahiri video is part of a pair. And after the 2nd part is released, historically, it was followed within thirty days by a major terrorist attack.

The videos released on Sept. 9 and Nov. 9, 2004, were the first "set" and were followed by the Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, bombings on Dec. 6, 2004.

The second "set" of videos was released Feb. 20 and June 26, 2005, followed by the July 7 London bombings. A third set of videos was released Aug. 4 and Sept 1, 2005, followed by the bombings in Bali, Indonesia, on Oct. 1, 2005.

The fourth set of videos, according to Brown's theory was released on Oct. 23, 2005 and last week -- Jan. 6.

"This pattern has held for at least three of al Qaeda's last large-scale attacks," said Brown, "This most recent video is likely a signal that a large-scale operation is about to be launched within the next 30 days. The question is where."

On Oct. 29, 2005, the London Telegraph reported that Abu Atiya, an al Qaeda operative close to al-Zawahiri, revealed to French authorities that a group called the "Chechen network" entered France with the missiles and chemical and biological agents such as botulin, ricin and cyanide.

The missiles were reportedly purchased in 2002 and eventually smuggled through Georgia and Turkey to be used in a planned attack against French airliners in 2004.

Following the London bombings the brigades posted a communique on the Internet, stating: "We are in Italy, and not one of you is safe as long as you refuse [Osama bin Laden's] offer. Get rid of the incompetent (Prime Minister Silvio) Berlusconi or we will truly burn Italy."

A July 19, 2005, story in Italy's Corriere della Sera newspaper indicated that Italian intelligence feared the statement was a coded message activating known cells in Italy, which had previously been providing only logistical support.

Three more messages from the Abu-Hafs al-Masri Brigades were posted in July, promising to "burn Italy down.

"We will raze the cities of Europe to the ground and you will be the first, Berlusconi!" one of the messages declared. On July 31, the brigades claimed to be "calling up all our cells in Rome and other Italian cities for this war ..." Another Internet message followed in August.

However, the November reference to the "land of the Romans" could be misdirection Brown said, since al Qaeda is known to use coded language in many of its communications.

The Global Islamic Media Front (GIMF) has indicated that al Qaeda intentionally labeled Italy as its target, prior to the London bombings.

If the "land of the Romans" doesn't refer to Rome, what might it refer to? Dan Darling of the Manhattan Institute believes it could be a reference to the United States. "It could just as easily apply to the U.S. -- America as the new Rome," said Darling.

The missiles reportedly obtained from Chechnya have not been located and Brown believes it is possible that some of the weapons have been smuggled into North America since individuals involved in the "Chechen network" who procured the missiles were allegedly involved in the 1999 conspiracy to bomb Los Angeles International Airport.

Noted the CNS report: "Regarding the video release pattern, "once can be an interesting anomaly, twice could be a coincidence, but three times is a pattern," Brown said, indicating "that in all likelihood al Qaeda will launch a major attack sometime in the next month."

As I've noted in previous columns, to al-Qaeda and the rest of the Arab world, partisan politics gets lost in translation. To al-Qaeda, statements like those made by Dick Durbin and Teddy Kennedy don't represent the Lunatic Left fringes of American politics.

Outside of America, Dick Durbin and Ted Kennedy are respected mainstream American leaders whose words carry as much weight as any other US leader.

If one is looking for evidence that their partisan sniping gives aid and comfort to the enemy, one can't ask for more convincing proof than the feedback coming from the enemy himself.

If the enemy feels aided and comforted enough to say so, then what more evidence does one need?

"Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason." (Title 18, United States Code, Part 1, Chapter 115, para 2381)

The evidence is beginning to pile up, as we've noted. Missing explosives, mysterious cell phone purchases, threats from Iran about US sleeper cells, stolen detonators, alien smuggling from Mexico, new threats from al-Qaeda . . . they all add up.

It seems that a good part of America has forgotten September 11, or else they believe it was an anomaly, never to be repeated. While Osama may have awakened 'a sleeping giant' on September 11, it only rolled over and went back to sleep again.

The Dow just broke 11,000, the economy is humming along, the war is 8,000 miles away, and most Americans have been lulled into their complacent pre-9/11 world of peace and safety.

"For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape." (1st Thessalonians 5:3)

It's been observed that I quote the following verse a lot. I believe that Jesus intended for it to be quoted a lot when He said it.

"And when these things BEGIN to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh." (Luke 21:28)

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Is it life imitating art or art imitating life?

You know how you can watch that one certain movie and say "That’s my life"? I had one of those moments a couple of nights ago.

The movie Hope Floats came on TV and, since I was an extra in that movie through a friend of mine, and because I happen to really like that movie, even though parts of it made me want to scream b/c of the husband's selfishness and cheating, I watched it. I’ve seen that movie lots of times before, but this time...this time, it was different. It’s like I was watching the story of me. Ok, so some parts of it were completely different. I wasn’t the Queen of Corn in high school, nor did I move over 1,000 miles away when I got married, and my husband didn’t leave me for my best friend. He just moved in with a former co-worker over two years ago, left for a few months to "work" on our marriage and then "unofficially" moved back in with her at the end of this past November. It is my daddy who is dead instead of my mother and my mother does not make scary-a$$ stuffed dolls out of deceased animals. Other than that, pretty much what Birdee is going through is me. Oh, and I have no male friend turning into a romantic prospect for me either. I would have to have a male friend for that part to happen. LOL!

There is this one part that really speaks to me where Birdee is in the bathroom of her mother’s house, where she moved back to from Chicago, and she is drunk, throwing up (well, not that part of it) and crying about how her life turned out and she says something about how she used to look into her husband’s eyes and see herself there and then one day she looked and she was gone:

"I know it's so easy to blame him. But you know what? I think it's me. I do. Because he used to look at me and I would see myself in his eyes. And it was like he saw me. And I was audacious, Mama. I was. And then, I don't know... things just started to change. The harder I tried to be what he wanted me to be... the less I saw myself in his eyes. And one day I looked, and I was gone."

Kind of like the day before you were that same vibrant, shining person and you wake up and *POOF* that person has disappeared and you don’t know how you failed to notice that the person you were one time was disappearing. That is how I’ve felt, how I still feel to some extent, well except that Matt bears at least half of the responsibility for what happened in the marriage to bring it to this point. Though when a serious relationship ends and it’s not you that’s doing the ending, per say, it’s hard not to try and figure out what went wrong and it’s easy to say that "It must have been me" when you can’t see why they didn’t want you anymore. That quote is how I’ve felt in the only two relationships that really mattered to me, the only two men I ever really, truly loved.

One was when I was barely out of my teens. First love and all that, and to some extent part of that still lingers with me, haunting me from time to time. GAH! Do you ever really get over your first love, especially when it breaks your heart in millions of pieces? You can read about part of that here.

Last one was Matt. Talk about audacious. He was audacious, bold, daring, a little overconfident, slightly full of himself at times and I loved it. We were a great match until it was time to grow up and stop the partying and the drinking. After the glimmer and shine wore off, after the illusions disappeared it seemed that neither one of us was what we had been at one time. It seemed like there were parts of him that weren’t ready to grow up yet and at times I feel like I forced him into a situation he didn’t want, but I was not going to have a baby and not be married, especially if he was going to stay in my life and we were going to have a relationship other than just the parents of a precious child. He admitted after we were married that he hadn’t wanted to get married until maybe after Emily had been born. That really cut me to the quick, but now, I think sometimes he may have had a point. We wouldn’t have found ourselves going through this crap that we’re going through and we would probably have parted ways a long time ago.

Part of my fault was that I started to have my life be consumed by him, but yet kept myself apart from him b/c I didn’t want to get hurt so bad that I could almost literally feel my heart breaking again. Well, joke was on me b/c the same thing happened and now I’m looking at the end of a marriage that, according to him, had been over for a long time. I still love him, I will always love him, but I don’t want what we became anymore, and it hurts deeply. One doesn’t go into a marriage thinking that it may end in a few years. Or at least they shouldn’t b/c right there is a recipe for disaster. I expected to live the rest of my life with Matt. Only reality and a certain conniving hussy had other plans. Matt still denies that she has or had any ulterior motives for letting him move in with her. I call bulls#!t on that one.

In Hope Floats, Harry Connick, Jr. says:

"You know, Birdee you used to be so... I don't know...audacious... bold. People would stop and stare as you walked down the street. Their eyes would light up. 'There goes that Birdee Calvert' they’d say... You think you've lost that. I can still see it..."

I want someone who still sees it in me, only I need to figure out or at least re-discover exactly who I am first.