2013: My life in review

2 days left in 2013. WOW! Where has the time gone? More importantly, what did you learn in this year? For me, from the very start - the first weekend of 2013, in fact - it has been an incredible year of changes and growth. Both for the better. I am not the same person leaving this year as I was coming into it, and for that I am very thankful.

I have made incredible friends for life, some of whom I've only met once or a handful of times, but the blessing of the internet is that we can keep up daily across the miles. Some whom I reconnected with, whether online or in person. Friends who are of a like mind, friends who encourage, support and speak life over others. Friends who have prayed for and over me. Friends who have listened and encouraged the growth in my life, and have been part of the catalyst of that growth.

One of the biggest changes - and best - is becoming a work from home mom. Being able to be there for my kids has made all the difference in the home atmosphere regarding attitude. It has been a tremendous blessing! The biggest one. It has helped me to become closer to them in ways I couldn't have imagined prior to working at stressful 45+ hour work week elsewhere. It has deepened my relationship with them as I am able to be there for celebrations and parties, milestones and games. To pick Em up "early" - now meaning as soon as school ends - and stay late with Nate when I drop him off.

I am thankful for the incredible spiritual truths that have been brought to me this past year. Truths that have opened my eyes and changed my life. Thankful for an amazing group of women who have seen the transformation in my life and have believed in and encouraged me and spoken life and truth over me. Not a day goes by where I and my family aren't thankful for their existence in my life and the truths that have been so much of the catalyst for the change in me.

I still have much to work on, but then again, we are all works in progress, are we not?

I am excited for what 2014 has to offer, because as good as 2013 has been, it can and will be better. 2014 will be a year of many dreams and accomplishments realized, goals reached and milestones crossed off my list. It will be a year of even deeper spiritual growth and understanding and I know it will be a year of blessings and wonderful surprises because God has never failed me or let me down and He won't start now. I have promises from Him that will come in His timing. Not mine.

That's been probably one of the biggest lessons for me is to be patient and wait. Psalms 27:14 says it very well. "Wait on the Lord, be strong and He will strengthen your heart. Wait on the Lord." Jeremiah 29:11 says it even better. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." If God has great plans for me and if I follow the path He has laid out for me, if I put my WHOLE trust in Him and let Him lead, instead of trying to make Him follow, how can I go wrong?

So, leaving 2013 behind soon and coming into 2014 with great expectations and beliefs about what will happen has me looking forward to this coming year with GREAT anticipation, joy and excitement! I look forward to being a better and stronger mother, daughter, friend, person, leader and Christian. 2014 is a new year, a new beginning, a new page on which I will write victories, goals, joys and dreams realized! Happy New Year to you all and may your 2014 far exceed and outshine your 2013!

Maybe the reason is...

Rocked. My. World. I believe this is exactly RIGHT! God knows this is the single area in my life where I have the biggest temptation. Not gonna lie. That's where I've gotten myself in trouble in the past because I went with my emotions, full speed ahead, jumped in with both feet, used no restraint and absolutely, positively did what I knew to be against what God said in the Bible about intimate relationships. It wasn't until God really started getting hold of my mindset a couple years ago and not just my heart that it truly hit home just how very wrong I had been in the years past, and I have finally been living by what is in the Bible ever since. Easy? Not always. Not for someone who has lived opposite for pretty much all of her adult life.

Seeing this, after all the frustration I've been through as to why I haven't been able to find a relationship worth keeping, made so much sense. It was a huge DUH moment...the kind applied like a sledgehammer upside the head. That is His way of removing what is my biggest temptation and keeping me pure for the person He has had planned for me all along.

So I am working on being the person I need to be and preparing myself for the one HE has in store for me! I can't wait to see who it is b/c I know they will completely rock my world and be better than I ever could've dreamed! I'm asking him for a Job 29, Oneand2Blue kind of man while I am working on becoming a Proverbs 31, Oneand2Pink kind of woman.

Just like the verse scrolling across the top of my blog says, when you put God at the heart of it all and wait on HIS timing, it makes all the difference in your perspective of things. "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalms 27:14...

Rather be Single

Being out of a relationship for right at a year now, there are definite things I miss about being in a relationship. But sometimes love, no matter how strong, is just not enough. Sometimes the differences are just too great and people don’t want to compromise or bend or grow or you find out that you didn't have as much in common as you originally thought.

So you let go, you move on, and you work on becoming the right person for the RIGHT person because a successful relationship does not depend solely on *finding* the right person, but on *being* the right person. Working on oneself to become the right person is not easy...kind of hard at times, in fact, but you have to take an honest look at yourself and realize the one common denominator in your failed relationships is...you. Yes, most of the time it takes two to make or break a relationship, but, fact of the matter is that something wasn’t right on either side.

What made me choose...unwisely...each time? Why didn't any of the relationships last? Digging deep and being brutally honest, I’ve come to understand where I went wrong in my choices and why and now it’s about changing myself to make sure that

1. I don’t make those choice mistakes again and
2. that I am no longer that person. Besides, I know that when all is said and done, I won't be single forever.

After all, the BEST is waiting for me to be ready to handle everything I've been praying for. But, being single, for someone who truly enjoys being part of a couple, is not exactly my cup of tea - and single parent dating is rough! However, I know this much, from what I have learned in my experiences, I have come to realize that at the end of the day I would much rather be single right now than be with the wrong person. For myself and for my children.

Waiting on Romeo

I know several languages with which to say "I love you" to someone. Greek, Hebrew, Russian, French, Italian, Spanish, Japanese, Dutch, German, Afrikaans, Creole, Gaelic, Mandarin Chinese, Hawaiian, Sign Language and, of course, English.

In the past I have rushed into love, or what I thought was love b/c I followed my impulses instead of waiting patiently for God's choice for that person in my life. In the past 2 years I have grown a lot...in the past several months I have grown exponentially in my faith, my walk and my obedience to God.

There's a couple of reasons why I've not had a relationship for a year now and have been completely celibate for going on 2 years now.

1. I want the best that God has to offer me and in the past I chose selfishly b/c it was MY choice and what *I* wanted and I know NOW that those relationships weren't what God had planned for me. I'm waiting for that ONE to be brought into my life and I know he's out there. But, especially now as a single mother of two precious children, I can't afford to bring the wrong person into their lives. So I'm being patient in my belief that God really does know what He's doing and that His timing is always right.

2. *I* was not ready and I still am not. I have been working on myself to be the person I need to be for the man that God has planned for me but I know that I still have a bit to go. I'll be honest. But I'm a long way from the person I once was and it's a good feeling!

I know that the man who will be in my life, and the children's lives, will put God first, instead of keeping Him as an afterthought or a "never thought" as have all of my past relationships been one or the other. There's a reason they didn't work out. I'm praying for a "Oneand2KindaBlue" for a Oneand2KindaMarriage. There might be some of y'all out there who know what I mean by this, and if not, I encourage you to check out Oneand2 Ministries.

I've come to realize it's all about trusting God and His timing instead of trying to force God's timing into my own frame. That just doesn't end well. Trust me. I know all too well.

Someday I'll have my "As you wish..." and it will be better than any storybook story.