In the past I have rushed into love, or what I thought was love b/c I followed my impulses instead of waiting patiently for God's choice for that person in my life. In the past 2 years I have grown a lot...in the past several months I have grown exponentially in my faith, my walk and my obedience to God.
There's a couple of reasons why I've not had a relationship for a year now and have been completely celibate for going on 2 years now.
1. I want the best that God has to offer me and in the past I chose selfishly b/c it was MY choice and what *I* wanted and I know NOW that those relationships weren't what God had planned for me. I'm waiting for that ONE to be brought into my life and I know he's out there. But, especially now as a single mother of two precious children, I can't afford to bring the wrong person into their lives. So I'm being patient in my belief that God really does know what He's doing and that His timing is always right.
2. *I* was not ready and I still am not. I have been working on myself to be the person I need to be for the man that God has planned for me but I know that I still have a bit to go. I'll be honest. But I'm a long way from the person I once was and it's a good feeling!
I know that the man who will be in my life, and the children's lives, will put God first, instead of keeping Him as an afterthought or a "never thought" as have all of my past relationships been one or the other. There's a reason they didn't work out. I'm praying for a "Oneand2KindaBlue" for a Oneand2KindaMarriage. There might be some of y'all out there who know what I mean by this, and if not, I encourage you to check out Oneand2 Ministries.
I've come to realize it's all about trusting God and His timing instead of trying to force God's timing into my own frame. That just doesn't end well. Trust me. I know all too well.
Someday I'll have my "As you wish..." and it will be better than any storybook story.