Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling right now sitting here at my J-O-B. That there is...something...hovering just out of the scope of my peripheral. It’s right there. Much like the word on the tip of your tongue when you know it but can’t come up with it.
It’s exciting and frustrating all at the same time. It’s sitting perched on the edge of your seat and waiting in anticipa...............tion.
It’s feeling nervous and a tiny bit scared because you aren’t sure you can handle what’s coming or about to happen, even though you want it so much!
It’s the barely suppressed tears that you have no clue why they’re there or why you want to cry and if it’s a cry of happiness and excitement or just a slight touch of fear.
I said it in December on my Instagram page, but I truly feel that 2013 is MY year. This is the year of my breakthrough and of significant change for me personally and for my family. I just don’t know exactly what it is or when.
Am I ready? I’m not sure.
I’m not entirely positive I can handle this anomalous...something...that is headed my way. But I’m ready to try. I want this so much that I’m willing to push that fear aside and go deeper and be more bold. Punch fear in the face, kick it out the door, do what’s uncomfortable in order to get what I want.
The time is now. Everything I am being faced with...like literally encountering on a daily basis...entails getting rid of fear. And for me...that’s scary. I think I’ve been so comfortable in my own fear that it’s become a real part of me for 30 plus years and that’s no longer acceptable to me because it has affected my life, and not in positive ways.
But it is life changing when you have incredible friends walking beside you and who believe in you more than you believe in yourself and then their belief in you starts to rub off on yourself. And the Bible says "Fear NOT" 365 times. One for every day of the year. HELLO?!?!?!
I CAN do this...whatever IT is. I can and I WILL. Whoooooooooo...that was actually hard for me to type.
But I am determined.
I am decided.
I’m feeling a little nauseated.
Shedding a few tears.
Determinedly ready to move forward and change my future, and that of my children. In 3...2...1...