Wise Words

"Wait on the Lord, be strong and of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart...wait on the Lord. Psalms 27:14


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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Truthful Tuesday

So, I asked on last week’s combined HDQ/Ask Nic what would be a question you would ask other people you had just met – and I volunteered to answer them myself. My thanks to the wonderful blogfriends that I have that played along!

First question comes from the always wonderful no_average_girl. One of my sweetest and closest blogfriends – she’s more like my “little sister” and she’s unbelievably mature for her tender young age!

One "story" i like to know about others is how they got saved - when Jesus became "real" to them and they knew they wanted to be a Christian. Not just to be called by His Name, but to serve Him, adore Him, praise Him.

Well, I grew up knowing about Jesus and God. In fact I accepted Christ at a very young age – in my 4th year – after my grandfather’s funeral. As a child He was VERY real to me. Talk about the faith of a child, I would pray and things would happen. Then came along peer pressure and trying to keep up with every one and I strayed far, far away. Further than I wanted to and I was never quite content with anything I was doing but I kept on doing it b/c I thought it would get better. The real turning point for me was on July 7, 2002, the day before I started a new job. I went to bed early b/c I was just exhausted. Emily was just over 9 months old and she was out like a light. I remember crawling into bed and all of the sudden the past 2 years experiences that I had been through just hit me like a ton of bricks. Getting pregnant, getting married (yes, in that order), “the X” being without a job for 3 months, moving, my daddy’s illness, surgery, resulting brain damage, having Emily, moving again, my mother’s diagnoses of almost stage 4 breast cancer, my daddy’s suicide, my mother’s first chemo treatment the day after my daddy’s funeral, getting laid off in the technology field when everyone was “downsizing” and being out of a job for 4 months, “the X” and I starting to have serious problems...yes, that was my life for 2 years. Even more stuff than that happened, but that was the biggest of the stuff. I finally realized that I couldn’t do any of it on my own like I had been trying to do. That night, laying in my bed crying my heart out I started my long journey back to the beginning and back to God. I didn’t want to feel alone anymore, I didn’t want to feel that emptiness inside of me that I’d been trying to fill with the things of the world. It’s been a long road, but God has been gracious and merciful and I make a point to thank Him every day, even for the little things like good traffic flow, a beautiful day, the laughter of my precious daughter...I think God gets far more curses than thanks and I try and make it a point to give Him at least 10 thanks for every gripe I have. I have a lightness in my heart that I didn’t have before and I can see God’s hand in things so much more clearly now. It’s difficult sometimes to lean on God when I want to “hurry” things along but it’s better in the long run to wait for His best instead of settling for 2nd best.
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Second question comes from the darling one4JC. She is a fellow friend going through a divorce right now due to adultery on her husband’s side – man that’s just running rampant out there isn’t it? Her question to me is:

She took my question! How about answering what was your favorite cartoon when you were little? Or what about your favorite game when you were a kid?

Favorite cartoons: X-men, yeah, I still love them. To me there was nobody cooler (and hotter) than Wolverine! And I wanted to be Storm. She was awesome! I also enjoyed the Looney Tunes – the originals, not the PC stuff. The ones from like the 60’s and 70’s were GREAT! My favorite character was and still is Marvin the Martian. He was just a cool little dude. Always thwarted but he never gave up trying. LOL!

Favorite game was and still is “Be a winner at the game of LIFE!” There was so much that could happen to you during your “life”. I always wanted to get the mansion, but very rarely ever did. :(
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Next up is a very dear blogfriend cmhl - or Crouching Mommy, Hidden Laundry for those who have never visited her fabulous and witty blog – if you haven’t do it now (well, wait until you’re done here!).

CMHL asks not one, but three questions:

"so, how did you happen to end up in Texas?" (if they aren't from there, that is!!)

Well, I was born in 1973 at St. David’s here in Austin and have been here ever since. Nothing too special.

"so, what can you usually be found doing if you aren't working or sleeping?"

Well, I'm pretty much a homebody since I'm a single mom so I would say my #1 is spending time with and playing with my daughter. If I have free time after that, surfing the news, blogging – including reading my blogfriend’s sites, reading, making jewelry, listening to music and talking to my best friend. Occasionally I get to go out so that's almost always with either MC, Amy or both.

"what is one thing about you that you don't think I would ever be able guess?"

Hmmmmm. I don’t know b/c I’ve said a lot in posts over the past year. I have two tats and would like to get a couple more – yes, mom, that’s true. I own a couple of guns, enjoy shooting at the range and am good at it. I’ve dance with Harry Connick Jr. here in Austin when he was practicing for the dance scene in Hope Floats. The man wasn’t too good at C&W but man could he jam to a 70’s groove! And I don’t like my toes – they’re kind of “round”. Now I said “round” and that’s not the same a “fat”. They’ve never been thin or dainty, even when I was a size 5. I’d like thinner, more feminine toes.
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The next question comes from the lovely Chrixean – the originator of the Thankful Thursday’s that I participate in every week.

Her question was:
I always like to ask if a person is involved with somebody romantically -- whether if he or she is married or with a boyfriend / girlfriend, especially when they are new to my cell group. I feel like i could better understand a person's issues or concerns once i've determined how their love life is. haha! weird? maybe. But it works for me :-)

Not...yet. I’d like to be, but I don’t want to get involved in a relationship with the wrong person so I've got to be very careful. My two best friends and a few other people I know say that though technically I’ve been single since April 10 – the day of my divorce, that really I’ve been pretty much really single for over 2 years – "the X" and I tried working it out in counseling about a month after we separated but that went nowhere. I’d like to be in a great, trustworthy relationship that is filled with fun and laughter b/c God knows I’ve not had very much of that in my past relationships.
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The next person asking a question is the sincere and sweet Beckie. She wants to know:

I usually ask where they are from or where they grew up. To me it seems some things are characteristic of certains areas of the country.

Well, I grew up in Central Texas so everything is done at a slower pace usually. Courteous, polite, yes ma’am/sir, no ma’am/sir, “thank you”, hold the door for someone behind door in front of you, hot days spent tubin’ on the river, love of God, guns and the grill. LOL!
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Almost done here...
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Next up is the unbelievably awesome, witty and delightful Lois Lane. One of my longest blogfriends and one of my very favoritest of blogfriends. If you haven’t had the pleasure of stopping by her blog, please do so! You will become addicted to her just like I am!

Her question to me is simple – NOT!

Darn, I'm late! Still taking questions? Here goes... after a rough couple of years, what is your ideal man like? And maybe tell me which things are most important to you... caring/honesty, personality, beliefs, looks, habits, children, career ect.

My ideal man – well that’s a book in itself but I shall condense for space’s sake.

Well, first of he needs to be a Christian. Not a mouthpiece Christian, but one who really loves God with all his heart.

I want someone who is as interested and invested in Emily and loves her as they would their own child. Someone who can be a strong role model in a marriage for her and can show her what to look for in the way a man should treat a woman by letting her see the way he treats me.

I want someone who will respect and treat my mother as someone they enjoy and love rather than just someone they have to “put up with”.

I want someone who understands that my family (MC and Amy included) are my heart and that they are extremely important to me.

Now going from there I want someone who:

1. knows the meaning of the words fidelity, trust, honesty, loyalty, respect, honor, love and cherish and who will do all of those.
2. is sincere and who can make me laugh and smile, someone who I can joke with and verbally spar with (in a playful manner) and just love talking with – someone who I go to bed talking to and wake up wanting to still talk to them – the first person I want to tell something to.
3. when we’re in a room and a beautiful woman walks in, doesn’t make some comment about her looks, her outfit, her mouth, her boobs, etc. and tries to flirt with them.
4. makes me feel like I am the most beautiful person to him, even though I'm not the most beautiful person to the rest of the world.
5. can stick it out through the tough times instead of turning to someone else.
6. will work with me on my flaws and be patient with me but loves me anyway in spite of them.
7. who is as sure of me as I am of them and lets me know in little ways that might not mean much to anyone else, but mean the world to me.
8. gives big, warm hugs, smiles and laughs.
9. is a little mischievous and has that boyish twinkle in his eye even when he’s 80.
10. likes motorcycles, guns, dancing, live music (Celtic included) and who doesn’t mind me singing – that wouldn’t hurt one bit!
11. is comfortable with BBQ’s and beer (or margaritas) in the back yard but who likes to go out every now and then.
12. still “dates” me after 2, 5, 10+...years of marriage and who reaches out to take my hand – just because.
13. makes me feel both like a kid and a woman.
14. helps make a house into a home.
15. truly listens to me not just pretends to and who understands that sometimes the only way things can be fixed is with a big hug – nothing else is required.

There’s so much more but those are the “basics” and the rest gets into more personal territory that I don’t want to share. LOL!

As for a career, I could care less. He could be a street sweeper or the CEO of his own company. It’s character that counts, not money.

Looks, that doesn’t really matter either but I like them tall – I like to look up at someone. I like eyes that are sincere yet sparkle with laughter. Smiles that are wide, genuine and go all the way to their eyes (you can tell if someone is sincerely smiling b/c it is reflected in their eyes). I like broad shoulders for me to lay my head on, and strong arms to hold me close. Muscle is nice, but I like a little softness too – I don’t like hugging brick walls that have no give.

Habits, well, um, someone who helps me with housework and cleans up after I cook would be nice. Someone who doesn’t burp out loud in public (yeah, “the X” did that – even in restaurants), who doesn’t pick their nose in public, or fart in public – well that last one even in private around me. That’s just uncouth and immature. I'd like someone with good table manners and who prays before meals. I don’t like excessive cussing, someone who flirts with everyone just to prove that they're attractive to everyone but me, someone who is into p*rn, keeps secrets from me or lies to my face. I don’t want someone moody or who holds grudges. Someone who went to church Sunday mornings and actually paid attention and didn't gripe or get moody about going is a big bonus.

Ok, so that’s off the top of my head. Do you think there’s someone out there who fits at least 80% of that?
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And finally, one of my very first blogfriends – the ever kind, always encouraging Captain Jean-Luc Picard. He goes around the blogsphere giving kind words to everyone he visits.

Captain Picard would like to know:

What school subjects influenced you most?

Do they still do that now?

I really enjoyed art, writing, history, drama and music.

I still draw and sketch, though these days it’s more for Emily than anything.

I write to get my feelings out, especially poetry or song lyrics.

I truly believe that those who fail to learn from history (whether personal or world) are doomed to repeat it (several philosophers said that such as Socrates and George Santayana – no not Carlos Santana).

Well, Emily is a little drama queen so I still deal with that day in and day out.

I love rhythm, I love to move my body to the beat, sing, dance, you name it. Music is one way of coloring my life, changing a mood or making a mood more intense. Music is an integral part of me! (Right now I'm listening to KT Tunstall - "Black Horse and Cherry Tree" - FABULOUS!)
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Thank you all for participating in this combined HDQ/Ask Nic session! I really enjoyed answering all of your questions and I hope y’all enjoyed reading my answers. :)


No_Newz said...

Short on time so I only read your answers to me. Selfish, huh?!?!? LOL! Great answers, sweetie. I know he is out there and you deserve all of those wonderful qualities you are looking for. One day baby, one day. :D
I'll be back later or tomorrow to read the others.
Lois Lane

cmhl said...

something you may not know, I was a texan for a few years--- I lived in the dallas area!

no_average_girl said...

that was a great HDQ/Ask Nic session! :-)

i especially liked the answer about the guys and what traits you want - that's something to hold onto! i heard of a girl who made out a list when she was about 10 or 11 and one thing she listed was that he must like green beans. well, she met and fell in love with a man who absolutely loved green beans! i thought it was so sweet! lol

i may have to steal your list for a check-list for potential guys in the future! hehe

you know, it's crazy, but you can't imagine how much hurt and pain a person has been through when you "see" them...you can't possibly know unless you get to really know them. how many of our older generations have lots of hurts and pains, yet few people take the time to listen to them tell their stories and lessons? very, very few.

greatwhitebear said...

3. when we’re in a room and a beautiful woman walks in, doesn’t make some comment about her looks, her outfit, her mouth, her boobs, etc. and tries to flirt with them.

So, saying "wow, look at those boobs, dear, they're almost as round and perky as yours", wouldn't neccessarily be a good thing?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

My pleasure to ask you a question. Your definition of the ideal man is a good one, Nic.

I know a lot of factors in that I'd like my ideal woman to be like.