Wise Words

"Wait on the Lord, be strong and of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart...wait on the Lord. Psalms 27:14


WWW As My World Turns

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

How time flies...

My baby is graduating today. The little girl I once rocked in my arms, who smiled so sweetly up at me with love in her eyes. It seems like only yesterday...wait, that was yesterday. Em was sick yesterday, getting over a crud that she’d had since being brought home by her daddy Friday with a 103 fever. Whenever Emily’s not feeling good all she wants to do is either sit next to me or lay in bed next to me and cuddle while I read her stories or watch a favorite movie with her and I'm perfectly content to do that instead of playing dress up or playing in the back yard with her.

Why is that you might ask?

Well, I can play dress up with her or play in the back yard with her almost any time. But she’s growing up so much that it seems like even for a 4 year old she’s more go, go, go than taking a moment to just let me hold her.

I remember the first time she gave me the most brilliant smile. I see it in my mind’s eye as clear as day. Back when “The X” and I were still together and we lived in an apartment, Em was probably around 5 months at this time, one of “The X’s” best friends came into town to visit and see Emily. I had made chicken fried steak and my famous mashed potatoes with cream gravy for dinner. The guys got their plates and I fixed one of my own and was going to put Emily down in her swing chair while I ate. I had already put my plate down and had Emily in my arms walking form the kitchen to the living room (where we were informally dining around the coffee table sitting on the ground) and when I looked down at her she looked right in my eyes and gave me the most amazingly beautiful and happy smile. It was like she was saying “I know you’re my mommy and I love you holding me and just being near you makes me happy.” Ok, so, yes, I know that she wasn’t old enough to be thinking that but that’s what the smile felt like to me. It was so personal. It was a smile that I hadn’t seen on her sweet, cherubic face before and it melted my heart completely. I had loved my little girl with an intensity that was unfathomable, but that one happy smile had me falling head over heels for her. So, I took her and held her while I ate and cut with one hand and she continued to look up at me like I was ice cream or something equally as good and I was hooked.

Emily frequently asks me to tell her some much beloved stories about when she was a baby. She loves to hear me talk about her as a baby. Her favorite story is when I first made her laugh. I’ve told it to her so much that she can say the story right along with me and it delights her to hear it. No matter how many times she hears it her eyes sparkle and she gives me that same sweet smile.

Now, she’s graduating from Pre-K and will be going into kindergarten this coming fall. She’s a little young – misses the cut off by about 2 months, but her smarts propels her WAY over the limit. Em can read easy books to herself (and me) now, she is solving basic math problems, exhibiting not so basic logic and reasoning skills and can write fairly well. Plus, she’s 4 and 4 feet tall.

I never thought she would grow up so fast, next thing you know she’ll be graduating high school, but it’s nice to know that, at least for now, when she’s feeling sad, tired or sick that she still just needs to be held by her mommy. And it’s nice to still see that smile that is just for me.

I’ll post pictures of the event later this week.


cmhl said...

awwwwwwwwww.. that is so sweet...

no_average_girl said...

that is great! She'll always need you, Nic! :-) I'm almost 20 and I need my Mom everyday - whether she realizes that or not is a totally different story!