Friday's Feast and a Funny Story

Well, today it is BRRRRR-CHILLY COLD! It was a hard freeze last night and I have to be to work at 7:30 for training. Our work Christmas party is this afternoon from 3:30-5:30 and I can't even properly enjoy that b/c Emily's school Christmas Program is tonight at 7:00 - far across the other side of town by like 25 miles. Rush hour traffic on a Friday afternoon and I'm hoping to be there only a few minutes late.

So first up is the customary Friday's feast and then a funny story from one of the guys in the 167th over in Iraq that I got a huge kick out of and hope you will too!

Appetizer
Have you ever flown in a helicopter?
Nope. I've always wanted to but I don't have money to do stuff like that.

Soup
What color is your warmest coat or jacket?
My warmest jacket is a shearling coat, which I wore yesterday and today. It's a beautiful thing of warmth!

Salad
What is your favorite rainy day activity?
Cooking or reading

Main Course
Describe your hands.
Small, kind of delicate though not bony or skinny, but strong with fairly good vein definition. The knuckles have deep grooves in them. I have short fingers and my palms have well-defined lines and small calouses on them, especially under the two fingers that I wear rings on. The nails are fairly short, colored in glittery red polish for the Christmas party. On my right hand I wear my dad's wedding ring on the middle finger and on the ring finger of my left hand I wear a garnet and silver ring that I have had for at least 10 years.

Dessert
If you could eat only one nut for the rest of your life, what nut would you pick?
As much as I love cashews, I would rather eat peanuts the rest of my life because they have more flavor overall.

Next up is SGT M's story. B/C Centcom visits my blog on a very regular basis (usually about once a week), I suppose to "check" on me and what I post since Dan is over in Iraq, I shall only refer to this person as a letter. I hope that y'all get as big of a kick out of the story as I did!

Dear (deity of your choice) what have I put in my mouth?

Ah, Army food. One of those long running cliche's which holds so much truth that it may never die. Now don't read too much into this, the chow halls over here are first rate. Well prepared, recognizable food, hot without being overcooked. But due to our scheduling and lack of proximity to the chow hall we almost never are able to eat there. So our one 'hot' meal per day is usually served to us at midnight out of mermites (insulated plastic food containers kind of like a portable steam table), and with little choice of items.

Tonight was salisbury steak, onion rings, succotash, and fried bits of some darkish meat substance. Originally we took it to be overcooked chicken nuggets, so very few of us selected them. But of course there are a couple guys who just can't stomach salisbury steak, or have a perverse fondness for chicken nuggets. Keep in mind that the entry control point isn't lighted at all, so you're seeing your dinner with a flashlight as you serve it up, and are often times eating in the dark finding your mouth by luck and instinct (silverware just isn't used).

My buddy who shares my check point with me had passed on dinner and I elected for salisbury steak so I was unsuspecting. I was just nibbling onion rings when I heard a coughing choking sound that for once wasn't our generator dying. Then over the radio I heard "Oh dear god, what IS that!" there was a pause, heavy with anticipation, then "Oh my god it's LIVER!"

"Last calling station did you say it was liver?"

"Affirmative, affirmative, some bastard breaded and fried little chunks of liver!"

"Are you OK? Do you need help?"

It was quickly established that those who had attempted to eat the liver were not in any immediate danger, but all agreed it was a dirty trick for the KBR guys at the chow hall to have played on us.

Most of the chow hall workers are foreign nationals, Pakistanis, Phillipinos, Indians and normally supervised by a few US Soldiers. We agreed that it was foolish of them to have done such a thing as we are all heavily armed and somewhat frustrated at our lack of opportunity to shoot people. Serving us breaded fried liver chunks seemed an almost suicidal breech of dining hall etiquette.

At the end of our shift it was agreed that we would meet again to plan some sort of counter liver mission. It's doubtful you'll hear any more on this subject from me in order to protect those who should be presumed innocent until proven otherwise.