Word Filled Wednesday for April 28

"While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me" (2 Samuel 12:22-23)

Well, this is certainly not the news I was expecting to give today. After my doctor's appt yesterday at 10 weeks I was supposed to be joking about having Irish Twins - 2 babies born a year apart - and how I'd have 2 babies in diapers, etc. Instead, the doc told me that the baby I carry died about 3 weeks ago and that I will miscarry in the next 1-2 weeks.

The Bible says that life begins at conception and teaches a kind of "age of accountability", if you will, for we are condemed by rejecting Jesus, yet infants and children up to the age of knowledge (of understanding truly about right and wrong - different for every child) are not capable of rejecting Jesus.

King David, when faced with the death of his baby with Bathsheba in infancy, wrote that verse above. He believed that he would be reunited with that baby.

I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me

King David knew the baby, having died, could not come back to this life, but he believed that he would go to him. I believe the same as King David.

I will await the day when I am reunited with this precious life inside of me in heaven and I will love the children I have here on this earth even more.

I will praise God, even in the midst of this heartbreaking storm, because He is who He is and His ways are not our ways nor His thoughts our thoughts.

I don't know why. I don't understand. All I can do is trust and have faith that God had a reason and while I may never know it here on earth, I will know when I am Home.

Does it stop the tears or the questions? No. But it gives me a measure of peace that I would not otherwise have.

Oscar and I leave on Friday evening for Nevada for a week-long getaway with his mom and stepdad, one that is now much more needed than ever. Chances are good that I will miscarry while I'm up there. I would rather do it there than here at home with the kids around.

I'll be taking a break next week while we are gone.

From the time I knew of you, little one, I loved you and wanted you. I might not have gotten a chance to know you here on earth, but I will have eternity to know you in heaven.

"Praise You In This Storm"
~Casting Crowns~

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
For other Word Filled Wednesdays please visit our hostess Susan @ Forever His or drop by “The 160 Acre Woods” to find out more about how to participate in Word Filled Wednesdays.