Wise Words

"Wait on the Lord, be strong and of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart...wait on the Lord. Psalms 27:14


WWW As My World Turns

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Word Filled Wednesday for April 28

"While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me" (2 Samuel 12:22-23)

Well, this is certainly not the news I was expecting to give today. After my doctor's appt yesterday at 10 weeks I was supposed to be joking about having Irish Twins - 2 babies born a year apart - and how I'd have 2 babies in diapers, etc. Instead, the doc told me that the baby I carry died about 3 weeks ago and that I will miscarry in the next 1-2 weeks.

The Bible says that life begins at conception and teaches a kind of "age of accountability", if you will, for we are condemed by rejecting Jesus, yet infants and children up to the age of knowledge (of understanding truly about right and wrong - different for every child) are not capable of rejecting Jesus.

King David, when faced with the death of his baby with Bathsheba in infancy, wrote that verse above. He believed that he would be reunited with that baby.

I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me

King David knew the baby, having died, could not come back to this life, but he believed that he would go to him. I believe the same as King David.

I will await the day when I am reunited with this precious life inside of me in heaven and I will love the children I have here on this earth even more.

I will praise God, even in the midst of this heartbreaking storm, because He is who He is and His ways are not our ways nor His thoughts our thoughts.

I don't know why. I don't understand. All I can do is trust and have faith that God had a reason and while I may never know it here on earth, I will know when I am Home.

Does it stop the tears or the questions? No. But it gives me a measure of peace that I would not otherwise have.

Oscar and I leave on Friday evening for Nevada for a week-long getaway with his mom and stepdad, one that is now much more needed than ever. Chances are good that I will miscarry while I'm up there. I would rather do it there than here at home with the kids around.

I'll be taking a break next week while we are gone.

From the time I knew of you, little one, I loved you and wanted you. I might not have gotten a chance to know you here on earth, but I will have eternity to know you in heaven.

"Praise You In This Storm"
~Casting Crowns~

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

For other Word Filled Wednesdays please visit our hostess Susan @ Forever His or drop by “The 160 Acre Woods” to find out more about how to participate in Word Filled Wednesdays.


Kaye said...

Oh, what a difficult time this is, but Praise God for His awesome comfort to you, that you, in turn, have shared with others who may need it. I have a precious little one in heaven for the past 25 years so know well what you are going through and am praying for you! Have a blessed week surrounded and protected by God's love and ever deepening comfort and presence.

SnoWhite {Finding Joy in My Kitchen} said...

My heart breaks for you and your family -- but what you have said is so true. My prayers are with you.

partialemptynester said...

Oh, sweet Nic, I, too, have had a baby safe in the arms of our dear Saviour for 25 years now, too! Not a day will go by that you won't feel your baby's life in your heart, but you will be blessed, you can depend on the the Lord! He is faithful, the same today as He was yesterday and as He will be tomorrow! What beautiful, beautiful pictures for WFW, thank you for sharing, it has blessed us all!

Missie said...

oh honey...i am so so sorry for your loss. i cannot imagine the depth of your sorrow. God is in control, He has plan and is holding you. Lean on Him. You will be in my prayers. Enjoy your vacation and meditate on His promises.

Susan said...

Oh Nic...

I'm so deeply sorry for your loss.

I pray God will comfort you in a way no other can in the days to come.

Yes, you will see and hold your baby again.

I'm so grateful for that promise.

I'll keep you in prayer for the days to come.

I'm so glad you are getting away~

lori said...

Ohhhh girl...

The peace can only come from knowing that in time you WILL hold that baby again...forever.

Know that you are covered in prayers as you move through these days, as touch as they are.

The image is perfect and it reminds me of the "Fly to Jesus" song...

peace to you on this road...

peace as you continue to "praise Him in the storm..."


Deborah said...

Nicole, my heart breaks for you and I pray that you have comfort and healing during this time. I held in my arms and prayed over a mother going through the same situation just Saturday. I reminded her of these very words you wrote, that she would someday see her baby but for now Jesus was cradling her in His arms...both of them.

Bobbi said...

"I can't imagine heaven's lullabies and what they must sound like...but I will rest in knowing, that heaven is your home and it's all you'll ever know." ~Watermark
My love and empathy are yours!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'm so sorry for you, Nic. It's no consolation, but you have so many friends around the world, like myself who will be thinking of you.

Cathy said...

Bless your sweet heart ~ Those pictures are just precious, and your attitude in your post is wonderful. I'm praying for God's comfort and peace. He will take care of you. Hugs ~

Laurencita said...

Oh! so sorry for your loss but I know God has comforted you and have peace now. Truly, we can not question God which sometimes we can not understand but always trust His heart.

Laurie said...

Oh, my heart goes out to you, and having had a miscarriage in between our 2 now-grown daughters, I ache for your loss and rejoice that you will, indeed, be reunited in heaven some day. We named our child after my husband, whose spelling of his name is used both for boys and girls, and it gives me a great peace to know this child by name and to know we will see him again.

You are in my heart today, to pray for you and your family.

Shelterwood said...

Hi, my name is Pete, I'm writing on behalf of Shelterwood--a licensed residential teen treatment facility with two locations in Missouri. Would you be interested in including a link to Shelterwood.org as a resource on your site? We would be open to a link exchange as well if that is something you might be interested in.

We are located on the web at http://www.shelterwood.org. Look forward to hearing from you.


Pete - Shelterwood.doulos@gmail.com

twitterthisadams said...

soo.....were you ever going to tell dad ya'll were preggers again?

Just a conservative girl said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a child is a difficult thing. I hope that you find comfort during this difficult time.