But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
So many adjustments in my life happening lately. Some days I just don't know where to begin! These past several months have definitely been an exercise in faith and trusting God for His provisions. How grateful and thankful I am to God for all of His abundant blessings! There is no way that I ever would have been able to do this on my own or on our own without God's help. As my regular readers know, my hard-working husband has been out of a job since October. With me as the sole wage earner for the past several months, including maternity leave from work, there is no way to have made ends meet without God's help but we've made it so far. Now we have to face several other challenges in our lives.
Oscar has a job interview tomorrow. This is a job that I have been praying for for him and it meets ALL of the specifics. It's just been a very long time in coming. I do believe that from the time he applied to this interview it's been about 2 months. The decision might even be another week or so. Oscar's difficulty is selling himself, even though he's so knowledgeable and passionate about what he does, it all comes down to self-esteem. He and I have been practicing the top 25 interview questions, and some of them are pretty tough but he's doing great so far! I just pray that he won't freeze up come tomorrow b/c when he gets a question that he can answer easily, he SHINES in the answer and you can almost feel his enthusiasm for the work that he's done. I know that this is the job that God has for Oscar, I feel it so clearly and have been praying for it for so long.
Also, this new pregnancy is one that is going along pretty good so far even though I have had to get on high blood pressure medication b/c my BP is way too high. And I still have the diabetes issues that will most likely cause me to go back on insulin during this pregnancy. My concerns about this pregnancy are twofold. I know that work can't fire me for getting pregnant again for the 2nd time in a year, believe me, neither one was planned other than by God, but I still have the normal concerns as usual about the amount of time for being off on maternity leave for the 2nd year in a row could be an issue. I know not really, but just preggo nerves showing on that one. And I'm working on a major move at work. Think major move of about 200 people, in waves, between floors over the period of a week and I am the main point of contact between those moving and those in charge of the move. The point of contact for questions and challenges. I worked Monday and yesterday when I was sick as a dog with a stomach virus that is going around right now. Why? B/C it's my job. I can only pray that God sees fit to allow me to keep this job that I simply love, love, love doing. Plus we need the insurance. And concern #2, affording daycare at $900+ a baby.
We are going to have to move in with my mom temporarily, or maybe long term. 7 people in a house that is less than 1200 square feet. That will be nothing short of a challenge! My mom has discussed quitting her job at the end of my maternity leave to take care of both babies, which, thank God, would be such a burden lifted. We would be the one paying all the bills at the house, which is fine by me, and she would cook every night (keep the food expenses WAY down!) and teach the babies until they could get into a private school as I absolutely refuse to send them to a public school. However, that is not set in stone yet. In reality I wish more than anything we could afford for me to be a stay at home mom and I would homeschool, but that's a wish. In this economy it has to be a two family income, especially with multiple kids...
I had one credit card, which, when it came down to figuring out whether to keep the vehicles to drive and food in our bellies as opposed to paying $300+ a month on the card, it was no contest. Sadly, that has now been turned over to collections b/c, frankly, there was just no extra money to pay it. So we'll have to figure out what to do there. God will provide. He always does. But in the realm of everything else, that has been the only negative.
The one thing that this has really taught me is that God is good ALL the time, even when we can't really see it. There is not enough thankfulness, joy or love in my heart to express how fully and completely I feel about all that He has done for us.
This time of trial and tribulation has also been a time of growth in our family. Growing closer to each other and growing closer to God. I know that this has strengthened my faith and trust in God to where I doubt nothing anymore. I may have little worries from time to time, but I always remember that GOD PROVIDES! And He will continue to do so. If He cares for the sparrows, how much more does He care for His own children and give good to them? We may not see the good as what WE want it to be, but it is always the good that is what is best for us in God's eyes, and that is the only good that matters.
I still have so much in my own life to change and I am a daily work in progress. One of my favorite saying as a kid that came on a "Holly Hobby" spiral notebook (remember Holly Hobby?) is "Please Be Patient, God Isn't Finished With Me Yet". And the day that He is finished with me, the day that I am complete, will be the day that He calls me home. I know that are things that I need to change and I just have to put my stubborn self to the side and get out of God's way. LOL! After all, it's the very least I can do for all that He has done for me. :-)
With God I've learned that I can keep going a whole lot longer than I thought I could. He has renewed my strength. He renews it daily. I keep walking, I keep trusting and I do not grow weary. I have learned to wait on Him instead of doing what I want. How GREAT Thou art, Lord! How great Thou art...
"Oh, Lord, my God
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works Thy hands have made
I see the stars
I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout
The universe displayed.
Then sings my soul
My Savior God to Thee
How GREAT Thou art!
How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul
My Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!"
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