Wise Words

"Wait on the Lord, be strong and of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart...wait on the Lord. Psalms 27:14


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Saturday, March 24, 2007

Less Is More…

But not in the way that you think.

Yesterday I was talking to my best friend, MC, and we were discussing going out. She made a statement which made me start to think...a lot. As single women, when we go out together we look at the men who catch our eyes, we laugh a lot, we get attention. We’re not the stereotypical plastic, enhanced bimbos so prevalent here in Austin that seem to have men swarming around them like flies – a phrase that lends itself to an easy snarkism or two, but I won’t sink that low. However, lately, MC (who is able to go out A LOT more than I can being that I’m the single parent of the friendship) has noticed that when she shows LESS skin she gets MORE attention and she wondered why that was. As I said, her question made me start to think and I came up with a great answer – I’d love to get your opinions on my theory in the comments.

Men are so over-stimulated and over-sensitized in today’s world b/c women, misguidedly think that less is more. Wear less clothing, get more attention. Men are conditioned to the fact that women show flesh. How many backless shirts have you seen on women lately? Plunging necklines? Short shorts or ultra miniskirts? That style is EVERYWHERE today. Women, when you dress that way you take away the mystery that men are looking for and instead make yourself look cheap, easy and, frankly, kind of trashy. Yeah, you may turn heads, but all men are going to do is look at the outside and skip the inside and you’ll never really find any man of quality. If a man is all consumed on what your outside looks like, he’s not the kind of man you want anyway.

Men so rarely see an attractive woman who covers up most of her body that it’s a novelty for them and it intrigues them. Why do you think it was such a big deal in the 1800’s-early 1900’s to see an ankle on a woman? Men would drive themselves crazy for it. Again, why is that? It is because they had to imagine what was underneath the clothes and a man’s imagination is very powerful and sensually based. When your “bits and pieces” are readily out there on display for them, there is nothing left to the imagination for the men.

Men like mystery, they like to be intrigued, but when you’re flaunting your T&A so carelessly, there is no mystery there except for them to wonder how long it’s going to take them to get you into bed and how many drinks it will take to get you to that point. I know that’s pretty frank talk, but it’s true and being subtle just doesn’t seem to do the trick.

I have become appalled at the women today who buy into the belief that in order to get a man interested in them they need to flaunt themselves like so much dime store jewelry – cheap and sparkly and easy to obtain, instead of believing that they are that rare jewel, that diamond beyond compare that shows itself at it’s best in a more modest setting.

I’m not saying that you have to be buttoned up to your neck and wear pants and granny shoes. Quite the contrary. Women, cleavage is a good thing in moderation. A hint here, a peek there. Skirts are nice but think about the rules they give to the kids in school. The hemline should be no shorter than an inch below your fingertips when your arms are straight down at your side. It’s all about the art of being subtle. And while on the topic of shoes, I love to wear heels. I have these great peep-toe, cream, patent leather, 40’s style shoes with 4½” heels that I LOVE! With they right outfit they are stunning. But it’s about dressing in moderation. I wouldn’t wear them with a crotch skimming skirt. No man would even notice the shoes in that outfit and that’s a real shame. (LOL!)

The point is, don’t dress like a hooker to grab a man’s attention. You’ll get the wrong kind of attention from the wrong kind of person.

Dress like you value yourself, like you are worth it. If you don’t value yourself and your body, no man will either and you’ll never wind up with the man worthy of the beautiful jewel that you are.

Less is more, these days. Less flesh in a world where it is thrown in our faces 24/7 is more intriguing to a man. It makes him want to unwrap you like a present when you finally get to a place where you are ready to take that step. His imagination will be in overdrive by that point with some potentially creative results.

And one more thing, women...you DON’T have to sleep with a man within a "certain number of dates" in order to keep his attention. It is up to us to change that myth and that expectation. YOU are worth waiting for and when you find the right man, you’ll find one worth waiting for too.


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Nic, as a man, I can tell you that you are exactly right in your thoughts. Men like mystery; a hint and peek are far more attractive to most men that having it thrust at them. I know that is what I like.

Your clothing styles are just right as well.

Anonymous said...

I was excited when I visited a small business school in Boston to find that students were discussing this same topic, and that both men and women were involved.

Two companies actually started by addressing the issue. One is a stylish yet conservative brand for young women (Kalon Clothing) and the other is a company that focuses on letting women design thier own jewelry. (www.paragonlake.com). I was excited to meet the founders of the second company and listen as they discussed the importance of women respecting thier own style and standing behind it.

Nikki said...

I completely agree with a woman being able to dress conservatively and yet stylishly - aka covering herself and still - or rather ESPECIALLY - be beautiful.