em·brace [em-breys] -braced, -brac·ing, noun
–verb (used with object)
1. to take or clasp in the arms; press to the bosom; hug.
2. to take or receive gladly or eagerly; accept willingly: to embrace an idea.
3. to avail oneself of: to embrace an opportunity.
4. to adopt (a profession, a religion, etc.): to embrace Christianity.
5. to take in with the eye or the mind.
6. to encircle; surround; enclose.
7. to include or contain: An encyclopedia embraces a great number of subjects.
–verb (used without object)
8. to join in an embrace.
9. an act or instance of embracing.
How can you mend a broken heart?
~ The Bee Gees
Oh how well I know this quote, you see, I live it daily right now. It seems like spiritually I am struggling with the waiting period in my life for something I have asked God about. Emotionally, it seems like I am a wreck.
It started back in December when I had to go back to court to get my divorce decree finalized "in abesntia" after months of my ex refusing to sign the paperwork or even pay the court-ordered child support the last couple months he still had a job. Imagine my surprise when the docket judge stated that there were no notes pertaining to the original divorce case in April in their system so, in the eyes of the court, it was like we had never gotten divorced. If we could find the original judge who had tried the case and get him to sign it then the original divorce would be recognized and final, but...if we couldn't, then basically the divorce case would have to be done over again – re-tried.
The whole drama of that really threw me threw me for a loop and made me really have to take a step back and reassess my life - a lot and I started pulling away from some people in my life. Most notably the person I had been dating. I realized that I had so much baggage in my life and in reassessing myself and my life I found that I don't know myself as well as I should and that really kind of threw me even further. I've been tired lately just mentally and emotionally and I sadly realized that I needed to just concentrate on figuring out who I am and where my life is headed and I should have done that before I started a relationship so soon after my divorce.
The most difficult thing about making the decision to end that relationship is that he is by far the most decent, respectful man I have known in a very, very long time but at this time I knew that I didn't have it in me to sustain a relationship beyond friendship. It really hurt to do it but I didn't want to string things out any further knowing that I couldn't commit to something that I am not personally ready for. He deserved better than that.
So here I am emotionally exhausted and spiritually limping along but I take comfort that what I am experiencing, God feels too. I know that there is one refuge that I can count on, one place of peace where I can turn to whenever, wherever I am. God promises that He will never leave me or forsake me.
In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
I've been feeling weary and burdened and weighed you down by stress, confusion, sorrow and loneliness. I have to keep remembering that Jesus is my burden-bearer and that I need to allow Him to take the burdens from my shoulders. He dealt with everything on the cross and He wants me to come to Him, give Him my burdens, and let Him take the worries and the fears.
When Jesus says, "I will give you rest," He means "I will refresh you" for further activity. Jesus calls all those who are weary and over-burdened so that they may be strengthened and refreshed and be relieved of our anxieties and sorrows.
His arms are the resting place, His shoulder the crying place, His heart the healing place. Even though sometimes I feel alone - He's already there. He's always been there and He's not going anywhere.