Wise Words

"Wait on the Lord, be strong and of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart...wait on the Lord. Psalms 27:14


WWW As My World Turns

Sunday, July 16, 2006

When the world comes crashing down

How does one react when they get the worst kind of news personally possible to them?

"The X" told me tonight that the girl he's been living with over the past 2 1/2+ years, but always denied having any physical relationship with, is pregnant. He doesn't know what they're going to do yet (other than keep it) and that it "just happened" and he can't explain how or why really - well if he doesn't know how and why, it's the same explanation for both of them. Hasn't he ever heard of condoms? Our divorce has only been final 3 months and already he's knocked up yet another female. (Pardon the expression but few other terms fit this situation from my POV)

It's like, the whole time I thought there was something going on, he never confirmed it and instead denied, denied, denied; but now that there's, well, actual proof of it, it's kind of a relief to say "I knew it" and be vindicated but at the other side it's kind of like a real blow as well.

I'm in shock, stunned, hurt, a little angry and very disappointed in him. I guess I had thought that he knew better, that he had learned from his mistakes, but obviously not. I didn't expect better from her b/c I know better than that but I expected better from him even though we are no longer married. This will be his third child by three different women. Talk about your irresponsible behavior.

It angers me too b/c he is setting such a awful example for his son Brian, who is 15 and my Emily, who is 4 1/2. Is Emily going to grow up thinking that it's ok? That this is normal behavior? And what about his son, whom I love dearly? What is "The X" going to say when Brian announces at age 17 that he got some girl pregnant just like his dad did at that age? He said that he's already talked with Brian about that but he sure isn't practicing what he preaches.

I asked him what his family said about it. He hesitated and then said "Well, they haven't disowned me", but he didn't say they were exactly happy about it either.

I worry for Emily even though "The X" says that she's really excited about it (I was the last one to be told and he felt that he had to tell me in person). I can't support him in this and tell him it's ok and it's all going to be fine. It's not and won't. What do I tell Emily when she talks about it? Am I supposed to tell her that her daddy's actions are ok, fine and normal, especially if he continues to do this throughout the years? I am praying for protection for Emily from the consequences of her father's actions.

Apparently, according to Emily, the baby is due in October, which means that this happened several months before our divorce was even final.

I am just heartsick and upset about the whole deal. I figured this day would probably happen but I didn't realize how sharply it would affect me or that it would be so soon.


Jean-Luc Picard said...

I agree with you so much, Nic. It's not a good example to get to one's children to just get another girl pregnant.

Killired said...

i dont blame you for not supporting him at this time... and like i said on the allblogstars post... at least he made this stupid mistake after you divorced!!!!!

Jim McKee said...

Sucks for you to have to go through something like this. I hope it gets better for you.