Wise Words

"Wait on the Lord, be strong and of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart...wait on the Lord. Psalms 27:14

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Monday, August 15, 2005

When in doubt...don't

Good Monday morning everyone. I know I haven’t been updating on a regular basis lately and I apologize for that. I’ve been spending as much time as possible with my darling Em. God knows we both need each other right now. I think myself moreso than her.

Today I would like to share with you one "Word of Wisdom", instead of the 10 I’ve been doing on Sunday nights. Or, ok, haven’t done in a few weeks but try to do on Sunday nights.

When in doubt – think about it before you say it. Or more popularly When in doubt...DON'T

Is what you say really going to be beneficial in the long run? Would you be damaging a relationship of friendship that you’ve had for years and years if you were to talk about it? Is it really your place to say what you feel needs to be said to the other person?

You may be asking yourself if I have a reason for this specific “Word of Wisdom” and the subsequent questions that follow. Well, yes, yes I do.

Over the weekend a dear friend of the family, whom I’ve known since I was probably 6 or so came by b/c she had a “burden” to talk about. It was about…my blog. She feels that I am too personal on my blog and that the things that are on my blog are, for lack of a better word, appalling. Excuse me? There is nothing on my blog that a child couldn’t read. She feels that my blog goes beyond the bounds of “what is proper”. She started getting in my face (figuratively speaking) and on me about the “content” of my blog and was absolutely appalled, yes appalled, when I told her that not only do I have friends who read my blog but that I have relatives that read my blog to keep up with me and what’s going on in my life and family. They also enjoy my articles that I post from time to time on my views, etc. Her (literally) choked response was “your relatives…read your blog?” and was so mad she was almost shaking. She then proceded to rant about "how could I write personal things about my life, my relationships with my husband, my family, my friends" on the blog. How dare I "exploit" them in that way! (That is a paraphrase b/c she said so much stuff that I don't want to write it down b/c it was just not very nice) I let her know that I appreciated her “concern” but that my blog is my business and what I choose to put on there or not put on there is just that, my business, and nobody else’s. She was livid and kept trying to push, push, push her opinions after I had already heard them ad nauseum. I told her that I loved her but that this conversation was finished.

It was neither her place nor her right to try and tell me that what I write in my blog is wrong and that I should stop. That is her opinion only. Certainly not the opinion of my family or my blogfriends or my other friends that I have in my life.

My mom was a little shocked, to say the least, as well as another friend of the family who is also friends with this other lady. They could not understand for the life of them why this family friend felt like it was her duty to take it upon herself to take me to task about my blog. My mom feels that yeah, sometimes maybe I might share a little too much about my life with complete strangers, but it is certainly not anything really to raise the alarm about like this person tried to. In doing so, she had put a definite strain on a friendship that has lasted about 25/26 years. I certainly won’t feel comfortable around her anytime soon and that is very sad b/c my little Em loves her like nobodies business. She is Em’s Nonie. Maybe my mom can take Em to see her b/c I won’t be doing so any time soon. Not until the hurt and anger are gone, or have at least subsided somewhat.

So what say you, my blog readers and friends? Do you think my blog is improper, offensive, appalling and too personal? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jean-Luc Picard said...

Nic, what you write on your own blog is your own business, and no one has the right to criticise. If friends or relatives think it is too personal, or they don't like it, then they don't have to read it.

Carry on, Nic!

mg said...

Possibly she is just upset that you haven't posted anything about her?

This woman obviously has control issues, to take it upon herself to chastise you when it obviously is not her place to do so.

Personally, I enjoy reading your blog. You have a fresh sensability to the things you write.

I'm sorry you had to endure that sort of treatment from a person like that. Hopefully she will see the err in her actions.

Take care & keep on writing!
mg

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bill said...

Nic, I've never read anything here that I felt was 'out of bounds'. You write with passion and enthusiasm about the events in your life.

She might be just a little jealous of how much you 'enjoy' life... some folks think everyone should be as miserable as they are!

Then again, mean_girl might be right... she's just miffed you haven't posted anything about her!!

Sorry to hear your feelings got hurt... try to just let it go, and be proud you stood your ground!!

Alisa said...

Hi. I have to ask...did she name any specific articles and or stories that especially offended her? I check in here quite often, especially when I started my own blog, and took notes on how you set up stories and the ideas, such as ftf's and things about me, etc. You were a "role model", so to speak, of what I wanted my blog to be like - except, of course, about me. By the way, maybe I should tell you that I am a fellow believer in Jesus Christ and I don't go to trashy, negative, or provocative blogs or gripe sites. Sounds like she will either "get over it" or she can just stop reading it. Why does she continue to visit? Be blessed Nic. I hope you follow your heart and keep blogging.

tshsmom said...

Tell your "friend?" to blog surf for an afternoon and she'll soon find out how squeaky clean you are!

Ken said...

Nic

Thank you for putting adding my blog to your site. I have reciprocated. Feel free to visit any time. I will visit yours also. Keep up the great work.

Duke_of_Earle said...

O...M...G...! Hey, Nic, all MY family (including my 89-year-old mother) reads my blog. Sure some is fiction, some is supposed to be humorous, but a bunch is about what's going on in my home and life.

There are SOME blogs out there that make me cringe in embarrassment. I mean, I could never write about personal sexual experiences like Karyn Lyndon does on her Freaky Fridays, but if she's OK with it, it's none of my business.

I happen to like your blog. I agree with jean-luc.

John

J said...

What a horrible place to be put. Your life is your life and as long as you and your family have an agreement about how and what you write and that you aren't hurting anyone, she really shouldn't have any say. I wonder if someone else in your family has said something to her about bad feelings towards your blog. Why should she care?

PresentStorm said...

I totally agree jean-luc I think your blog is your journal basically ..It should be a place that you can be as raw as you want to .I feel that it is SO not anyones place to say anything about what you put on it .If they find it offensive then STOP READING ..lol Just that simple ..Thank you so much for stopping by my place earlier and giving me so much insight into that subject ..It has been such a touchy one for us and it was good to hear from someone that went through it ya know ....:)

Thanks again and I say keep doing what you are doing ...Feel free to be you :)

songstress7 said...

If *YOUR FAMILY* and *YOUR FRIENDS* who you write about have no issue with what you write, why should she have a right to complain?

Puh-leeze. Carry on, Nic. :D