Why Friday the 13th SUCKS!

So, some of you may know that I work for a defense contractor, well . . . we had a contract worth over 1 Billion dollars. Yes, that's right – 1 BILLION. We went for a re-bid last year on it and lost. It was a total Charlie Foxtrot situation. You in the military know what that is. So, there was a good possibility that my job was ending when our contract with the State of Texas was up. I and the people I work with have known this for a while. But still, hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

Well, the worst came today. On Friday the 13th.

Around 2:30 I was the first one out of about 80% of our office who was/will be told that they will no longer be employed as of 8/31. They're waiting to tell most everyone else next week. After being told, I did the mature thing. I held my head up and stayed until 5:00. Never let them see you sweat. Stay strong on the outside even when you're cracking on the inside. It was not completely unexpected, but still, so many things come into play. I am a single mom, getting no child support. My daughter goes to private school b/c I refuse to have her in the Austin school system. I used to work in it when I was in college and I vowed then and there that no child of mine would ever be part of the AISD. So I'm a little freaked out. Ok, a lot freaked out.

I had really hoped to go out with a friend tonight b/c they've just really become a good friend (though sometimes I want to wring his neck – I still just think he's pretty darn awesome) and I'm extremely comfortable around him and just needed the distraction, which would have been a good one. We had tentatively made plans yesterday for me to drive out and pick him up but those fell through late today after I found out this news so here I am, sitting at home, going, "OH CRAP! What the HELL am I going to do?" I have 6 weeks to find a job. I can't afford to make less than what I am right now and I need insurance. I really need some distraction and a drink or ten. I know I'll definitely go out tomorrow, but really would like to get away tonight. It's the whole being alone factor. Sitting here, my mind on this crap. Fully freaking.

I have a resume in with a friend of mine for a job that they have. I put that in a good two weeks ago. That job doesn't start until the end of September with the possibility of being there a month ahead of time to train under the person leaving. Not only is it a job I could do with my hands tied behind my back and blindfolded, but it's higher pay, same benefits and better vacation time than I have after having been with my current job for over 2 years. I'd really like to get that job, but if I don't there's something else out there for me. I just want and need to find it soon.

That and a few drinkies. Though, don't know where I'll go tonight for that. My usual place has a concert tonight so pretty high cover at the door. I know I should be saving my money like Scrooge right now, but really, in the stress factor of it all, a few drinks are very much needed right now.

Deep breath, Deep Breath, DEEP BREATH! Just don't forget to exhale or I'll pass out.