Thoughts on 9-11

Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you in the yard with your wife and children
Or working on some stage in L.A.?
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke
Risin' against that blue sky?
Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry?

Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know?
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below?
Did you burst out with pride for the red, white and blue
And the heroes who died just doin' what they do?
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself and what really matters?

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell
You the difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you teaching a class full of innocent children
Or driving down some cold interstate?
Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone?
Did you call up your mother and tell her you loved her?
Did you dust off that Bible at home?

Did you open your eyes, hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep?
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Or speak to some stranger on the street?
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Or go out and buy you a gun?
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns?

Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers
Did you stand in line and give your own blood?
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love?

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell
You the difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is love

And the greatest is love.
And the greatest is love.

Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?

Lord love Alan Jackson for that unforgettable song. Where was I? I was about 38 weeks pregnant with Emily, stopped at the light at Stassney and 35 on my way to work when the news came on the radio. I remember the horror. I remember calling home in a panic and telling my then husband to turn on the news, pop a tape in the VCR and start recording and don't stop. It was 2001 after all and VHS was "the thing". I remember being asked at work to print up and keep a running timeline on the wall during the day. I remember. I remember.

I remember being so filled with anger and hatred for those who attacked us. And that lingered for several years. I still do not have friendly feelings toward those who planned and perpetrated an attack on my country. On the liberties and freedoms that I hold so dear. On the innocence of children. On families.

I remember the stories of incredible miracles of those who, for whatever reason, were delayed in getting to work that day. One, because they developed a blister and had to stop and buy bandaids. Tens of thousands should have died that day. Tens of thousands escaped the fate that beset the 2,977 who were part of these attacks on American soil. But not just Americans. More than 90 countries lost citizens in those attacks.

I remember having many friends who lost loved ones and family in those attacks. Many in New York. A couple in Pennsylvania when the heroes saved further untold counts of death by putting the plane down in a field. And I grieved with them and for them.

I remember hearing the voicemails of those caught in the towers, of those on the plane over Pennsylvania, to loved ones. Knowing that would be the last time they ever got to say something to them. I wonder if the fights and the cross words haunted those left behind? If they still do?

I have friends who fought in the war on terror. Who enlisted right after 9/11. Who still fight. Some, very dear to me, who are over there right now. I pray for them daily. Pray for their safety. Pray that they come home in mentally and physically safe. Pray for their families and loved ones.

Peace, peace, everyone cries. But in reality, there is no peace to be found. Not when the religious ideology fuels hatred of those who refuse to submit to the sword hanging over their head. Who refuse to submit to tyranny. Who refuse to give in to those who would subjugate us with their last breath. Not when we still draw breath as a free country. Not when we still have people who believe in the sovereignty given to us as a nation. Not when we still have something to believe in. Not today. Not ever. Not until the Lord returns.

I no longer have that burning hatred of those who attacked us. They did not defeat us. Liberty still stands. We still stand. To hold onto that negativity is to create a hole in my soul. To change me, and not for the better.

I prefer to honor those who perished by remembering the past, but not let it affect my future. I prefer to honor those lives lost by trying to make my corner of the world a better place to be. I prefer to be a light in the darkness, when all other lights seem to go out. I prefer to honor the sacrifice of the soldiers out there on the front lines and at home still fighting by supporting them any way I can.

I choose to live. I choose to love. I choose to leave this world a better place than when I came into it. I choose to be the best I can be. I choose to not let bitterness and hatred consume me. I choose a life of meaning and purpose. I choose to not let my last words with someone be those of anger because I never know when my last moment will be with them and that is not a memory I wish to carry around with me.

I choose to make the most of what life and God have given me. But I still remember...