The musings, rambling blog entries, humor, life, political opinions, observations, personal and spiritual beliefs, tasty treats and other writings of an almost 40, single mother of two.
♪♪Showing off her brand spanking new wings and her barbed wire halo♪♪
Amberlyn and I first met at an Aaron Watson concert at John T. Floore's in Helotes, TX...just outside of San Antionio. We'd been online friends for a while, but that was the first time we'd met in person. It was around the end of November, beginning of December a few years ago. From that moment on a fast friendship was forged.
In the Spring of the next year I invited her to go on a tubing trip with my group of friends and she was so worried about if everyone would like her or think her the “strange girl” for having a feeding tube in her stomach that showed in her two piece. She needn’t have worried. She was an angel then as she is now. Everyone loved her and she quickly became a central part of our group of friends. We rallied around her and worked at benefits for her and donated time and money to her charity, Amber’s Angels.
It was so very hard in the fall of 2009 when she was put into a coma and the prognosis was grim for her receiving a pair of lungs due to her condition, even though she was at the top of the national transplant list. It was a razor’s edge that she balanced on, separating the viable from the unviable. Miraculously, no less or more than 24 hours before she would have been taken off the transplant list, and deemed no longer a candidate, the call came in. Amberlyn had a set of lungs.
Sometimes God’s answer is “yes”.
We rejoiced with her. We prayed for her. We loved her. We supported and encouraged her. Amberlyn had a new lease on life. There were several things that she would no longer be able to do, such as go out to the rodeo to listen to her favorite musicians. Horses apparently carry something that can be fatal to lung transplant patients. She could no longer go to concerts where anyone smoked indoors, such as in San Antonio, where there isn’t an indoor smoking ban. But she was happy to be alive and determined to make the best of it. She did so much for her little angels in the hospitals. She made sure to get the awareness about Cystic Fibrosis out there.
She was a champion and a fighter.
I remember the last time we were out together, at Salt Lick for BBQ and then out to dance after. She was laughing, full of life and joy and the world was open to her. This was in July. In August she started having problems again with her lungs and was in and out of the hospitals from then on out.
A couple of months ago we had a conversation about how she wanted to go to Floore’s again to see Aaron on November 26. A group of us were going to go and she was excited about the possibility of going...if her lungs would cooperate. It was going to be a fun time and a good remembrance of how our friendship started out. And she was really looking forward to meeting someone very special to me who was going to be there.
Sometimes God’s answer is “no”.
Amberlyn left us this morning at 8 AM. My heart is broken. She was more like a little sister to me than just a friend. But she is free to fly and soar now as she never was able to here on earth.
November 26 is going to be very hard for me. We are still going to the concert. The person she wanted to meet will still be there. I will have Amberlyn there with me in my heart and will be wishing that she were able to be there as we had planned and hoped she would be able to be. I’ve asked Aaron to play a song for her at the concert. It will be a bittersweet memory to be made this year. I’m not sure how we women, who were very close to her, will handle a couple of songs that Aaron sings that will undoubtedly remind us of Amberlyn and have us wish more than ever that she were with us. I must remember to bring tissues along. It's not going to be a pretty sight, I'm sure.
Amberlyn fought long and hard...now she is at rest. She is loved and missed terribly already and it will be a day of rejoicing and celebration when we meet again, for we know...death is not the end.
Godspeed, my lovely friend...until the next time we meet. I love you, my dear friend.
"Fly"
Fly, fly little wing Fly beyond imagining The softest cloud, the whitest dove Upon the wind of heaven's love Past the planets and the stars Leave this lonely world of ours Escape the sorrow and the pain And fly again
Fly, fly precious one Your endless journey has begun Take your gentle happiness Far too beautiful for this Cross over to the other shore There is peace forevermore But hold this mem'ry bittersweet Until we meet
Fly, fly do not fear Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear Your heart is pure, your soul is free Be on your way, don't wait for me Above the universe you'll climb On beyond the hands of time The moon will rise, the sun will set But I won't forget
Fly, fly little wing Fly where only angels sing Fly away, the time is right Go now, find the light
My very dear friend, Amberlyn Fett, has been facing an uphill battle, but we know Who holds the future. She is my beautiful friend, young and old at the age of 22. Full of life, but also has gone through so much in her short life. You see, Amberlyn has Cystic Fibrosis and saw far too many others with the same disease lose their battle with it at far younger ages. She is the recipient of a double lung transfer two years ago. Things were going great for her. New lease on life and all that.
Three months ago her lungs started showing signs of rejection. Just little spots here and there of infection. Intensive antibiotic therapy and meds and all sorts of stuff couldn’t take it away. But at least it didn’t get worse...then. Spending most of her time in the hospital the last three months was not where she wanted to be.
Last Thursday they let her out of the hospital and she was able to come home. Things were looking up, but then on Sunday she was rushed back into the hospital and put in ICU...unconscious. Her new, precious lungs had had enough and full rejection set in. Sadly she is not a candidate for another transplant due to the infection in her lungs that come from nowhere and didn’t respond to the meds and antibiotic therapies that they put her through.
They were going to take her off the ventilator this morning. We’ve not heard any word since then. A large group of us stopped and prayed wherever we were at 9 this morning for her, for her family and for her doctors. Patience is not my virtue. The waiting and not knowing is the hardest part. We're not sure if no news is good news and God has blessed her with a miracle or if no news means that our worst fears have come true and that they're just trying to cope with everything right now. I’ve been battling tears off and on this gorgeous day.
What really hurts is that she was hoping to go to the same concert I am going to next week Saturday. The concert of a mutual friend, same place where we met a few years ago and our friendship was born. Now, knowing that, unless God bestows a miracle to her, she will never have that chance again, it breaks my heart and each time I think about it, I start to tear up.
She has been such a fighter. So strong. So giving to the kids in her charity, Amber’s Angels.
We KNOW that God’s will is always done. We’ve been praying for a miracle for Amberlyn. We’ve also been praying that whatever God’s answer is for our prayers, that we are given the grace and the wisdom to accept the answer if it is “no” or “not yet”. Being only human we can’t help but be selfish and want her to stay with us, but the knowledge that the opposite means that she is finally at peace, out of pain, with no more struggles to breathe and in the full Glory of God helps to temper that pain that we feel and the possibility of her loss. The knowledge that death is not the end and we WILL see her again also gives a measure of comfort and peace. But we still can’t help but plead for that miracle.
You can learn more about what she’s been through by watching this video on her benefit site, My Breath of Life.
SO much has changed in my life since I last blogged regularly in 2010. I'm 39 now, single and trying to be the best mom I can be as well as doing the best I can for my unbelievably precious daughter who’s now 11 and my beautiful, inquisitive little man who turned 3 in November. I'm learning to live again with joy and happiness and a new lease on life. God has really been working in my life and BIG changes are in the works and I'm incredibly excited about them!
One of the changes is becoming a distributor and advisor for AdvoCare. After seeing what it did for me on the 24 Day Challenge (lost 15 pounds and an overall total of 32.5") I was sold, not only from the external physical results, but the internal ones as well. I've never felt so good!
As the Gary Allan song goes, "Life ain’t always beautiful but it’s a beautiful ride". I hope to take you along on the ride through my life as it changes and as I continue to change. I hope you stay a while and enjoy yourselves and maybe learn a little about coping with unexpected circumstances in life with the help of God. Come back soon!
Do you have alternative cash-flow streams coming into your household?
What would happen if some sort of disaster struck your area; hurricane, earthquake, flood?
What about the ever possible PINK SLIP and downsizing? If you were laid off tomorrow, do you have a Plan B? What about a Plan C?
In this interactive CD Ray Gano and Wilfred Hahn lecture on many issues we are facing today and how to prepare ourselves, so when that day comes, we are able to stand.
Today's Promise: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.