Who are you calling donkey?

There was once a donkey for hire.  He was chosen out of the rest of the donkeys to be the one hired out for a day.  At the end of the day, the rest of the donkeys asked him how his day went.

The donkey was thrilled.  "It was amazing," he said.  "There were crowds lining both sides of the street.  They were throwing palm fronds before my feet and shouting 'Hosanna!' as I passed by."

"You know," said the donkey, "I think they're gonna crown me King."

The point is obvious. Nobody remembers the donkey.  It is the Message he carries that people pay attention to - the donkey is only part of the background. Your life should be about presenting the message that the Lord is preparing to return, not about the donkey carrying that message. The donkey only carried the Message, and so should we all.

Strive to be the carrier of the message and show by example in our lives how that Message has transformed us, instead of braying like a donkey to bring attention to ourselves. The message we carry is far more important! It's eternal...

Too busy for God?

This hit me upside the noggin like a TON of bricks. I do both of those, but neither as often as I should or need to be. How in the world do we let ourselves get too busy for God?! I wanna know. I'm guilty of it. How do we let little trivial, meaningless things take the place of time with our Creator? I'm ashamed to say that I have. Yes, life as a single mother of an 11 year old daughter and 3 year old son gets busy. I barely can grab 3 minutes of peace to potty, but that's life. So what about those 30 minutes online or extra sleep? Shouldn't God be more important?

What makes you tick?

So...some insight into what makes me tick. It's no great shock that I am a physical touch person. That is definitely my love language. I'm a hugger, a kisser, a hand holder a back rubber, etc. I also scored high on quality time (if I like you, I wanna spend time with you) and words of affirmation (tell me how I matter to you). It's pretty obvious that I am less affected by whether or not someone does things for me (I'm pretty self-sufficient so this is always difficult for me to accept) or that people give me things. I want your time, your touch and your words. Gifts are ok for a special occasion but otherwise, I'm good...unless you want to write me a letter or give me a card, something that includes nice WORDS. I'll take those anytime. What's funny is I enjoy doing for others and giving gifts but it's not my personal LL.

What's your Love Language? Check it out here: Take the Five Love Languages Quiz

Do you REALLY know God?

Pretty sobering words, aren’t they? I’m equally as guilty of Titus 1:16 as most everyone. In fact, even recently, up until a couple months before I had probably the most profound, life-changing experience of my life at the New Year | New Marriage/Mindset(singles) conference with Oneand2 Ministries at the beginning of January. It was nothing for me to love God and profess Him...when it was convenient for ME. 

I meant it, every word, every feeling. 

But when I was out? Especially prior to two years ago I got really good at shushing that quiet voice in my head that said, “You don’t use that language at home, church, or around your kids, why use it when you’re out?” or “Maybe you shouldn't have another drink, you think?” Drowning my Jiminy Cricket (AKA my conscience) was an easy thing to do...uncomfortable though. I knew I was living a separate life often when I went out. The flesh wants what the world has to offer. Who wants to be different from everyone else? 

But that’s what we were called to be...those of us who profess to claim Jesus as our savior. Matthew 7:21-23 goes on to say that there will be many who say, “but Lord, I did all of these things in Your name, for You, to bring You glory”, when in fact it was to bring glory and popularity to themselves and they lived double lives instead of truly living life as God requires us to. And those people were never truly saved in the first place, therefore they will not be recognized by God as His own and will not be permitted into heaven.  James 2:19 says that even the demons believe in God and tremble at the name of Jesus...just b/c you believe, doesn't mean you are saved. Think about that one.

I’m not here to judge anyone just because they sin differently than I do...or even the same way. We all sin. ALL of us. I have my own sins to deal with and that, along with single parenting, is a full time job. Do I think that life from here on out will be perfect and without stumbles and steps backward for me? Goodness no! I am not that naïve. I have been the perfect foil for the other side for so long. I know that this road is going to be a long one. But it is so much better to be FREE in Christ than to be a slave to the world.  

Maybe the reason is...

Rocked. My. World. I believe this is exactly RIGHT! God knows this is the single area in my life where I have the biggest temptation. Not gonna lie. That's where I've gotten myself in trouble in the past because I went with my emotions, full speed ahead, jumped in with both feet, used no restraint and absolutely, positively did what I knew to be against what God said in the Bible about intimate relationships. It wasn't until God really started getting hold of my mindset a couple years ago and not just my heart that it truly hit home just how very wrong I had been in the years past, and I have finally been living by what is in the Bible ever since. Easy? Not always. Not for someone who has lived opposite for pretty much all of her adult life.

Seeing this, after all the frustration I've been through as to why I haven't been able to find a relationship worth keeping, made so much sense. It was a huge DUH moment...the kind applied like a sledgehammer upside the head. That is His way of removing what is my biggest temptation and keeping me pure for the person He has had planned for me all along.

So I am working on being the person I need to be and preparing myself for the one HE has in store for me! I can't wait to see who it is b/c I know they will completely rock my world and be better than I ever could've dreamed! I'm asking him for a Job 29, Oneand2Blue kind of man while I am working on becoming a Proverbs 31, Oneand2Pink kind of woman.

Just like the verse scrolling across the top of my blog says, when you put God at the heart of it all and wait on HIS timing, it makes all the difference in your perspective of things. "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalms 27:14...

STOP IT!

Can I get an AMEN on this? This is one of my biggest pet peeves and a HUGE stick in my craw. Even pastors living in the GRAY and leading their congregation into the gray shades use this line to excuse the sin in others..."It's ok...God knows your heart".

IT'S NOT OK! So just STOP IT!

If you claim to know Jesus then you need to live like it. Plain and simple. God is a BLACK and WHITE God. He does not allow room for shades of gray. He died for you. It it too much for you to live for Him?

Sometimes the TRUTH hurts

I love this truth...and yet it is a hard pill to swallow b/c I have been guilty of this and sometimes the TRUTH just plain hurts.

How do you expect God to bless you when you ask Him to if you are clinging to the world instead of Him?

If you love the things that the world has to offer your flesh more than what God has to offer your life and spirit, why should God listen when you ask for something?

We should cling to HIM, to His Word instead of the world...

What God has promised...

He has promised me...and my family...and you...a hope and a future (Jer 29:11), to never leave or forsake me (Heb 13:5), that the Godly will never be abandoned nor their children begging for bread (Ps 37:25) that He is near us always...even until the end (Matt 28:20) and on and on are His promises.

Here's the thing that most people do not understand tho...for those who are in Christ, God has promised to supply all of our NEEDS...not all of our "wants".

Key difference.

You have shelter, you have food, you have transportation, you have clothes...tho all of those may not be the kind you "want", those needs are met. Never will He leave or forsake us, even tho sometimes it might feel like it when we can't feel His presence.

But remember this. The teacher is always silent during the test. Will your faith in Him pass or fail?

We often say "show me...and THEN I'll trust You" God says "Trust Me...and then I'll show you". And it's often more than what we could have ever imagined.

Rather be Single

Being out of a relationship for right at a year now, there are definite things I miss about being in a relationship. But sometimes love, no matter how strong, is just not enough. Sometimes the differences are just too great and people don’t want to compromise or bend or grow or you find out that you didn't have as much in common as you originally thought.

So you let go, you move on, and you work on becoming the right person for the RIGHT person because a successful relationship does not depend solely on *finding* the right person, but on *being* the right person. Working on oneself to become the right person is not easy...kind of hard at times, in fact, but you have to take an honest look at yourself and realize the one common denominator in your failed relationships is...you. Yes, most of the time it takes two to make or break a relationship, but, fact of the matter is that something wasn’t right on either side.

What made me choose...unwisely...each time? Why didn't any of the relationships last? Digging deep and being brutally honest, I’ve come to understand where I went wrong in my choices and why and now it’s about changing myself to make sure that

1. I don’t make those choice mistakes again and
2. that I am no longer that person. Besides, I know that when all is said and done, I won't be single forever.

After all, the BEST is waiting for me to be ready to handle everything I've been praying for. But, being single, for someone who truly enjoys being part of a couple, is not exactly my cup of tea - and single parent dating is rough! However, I know this much, from what I have learned in my experiences, I have come to realize that at the end of the day I would much rather be single right now than be with the wrong person. For myself and for my children.

What does it matter where they sleep?

You know, I’ve had a lot of people say over the past couple of years, “why don’t you make your kids sleep in their own beds instead of with you?” Well, as cramped as our small house is, not everyone has a bed of their own right now (Emily does, Nate doesn’t). But this past week it really hit home that having them share my king size bed by choice is a blessing.

Emily is at that age where she could be a snotty tween, anxious to be free from acknowledging her mom. Instead, she freely holds my hand in public and comes up to me to get big hugs from me and the past couple of nights, she hasn’t been able to get to sleep without asking to snuggle with me (which is a lot easier when Nate is not between us – LOL!) She is at a point where she needs reassurance from her mommy and love and acceptance. She is so wise beyond her years in many ways, but still is a sensitive, emotional child at heart. I know that all too soon those days will go by the wayside, most likely, so I cherish each request for a snuggle, each body ache from having her or Nate wrapped around me/draped over me as they sleep. It’s one part of this mommy’s way of giving them that unconditional love that every child needs.

Preemie babies thrive with touch and holding. It’s been scientifically documented that touch relieves pain and stress and preemies who receive frequent touch grow faster and have less health/medical issues. Touch is fundamental to brain growth and function in babies, so why wouldn’t it have the same stress/pain relieving effects on older children and adults? You know it does. How many times has the hug of a loved one helped you to feel better when your heart is hurting or your soul unsettled? With me, it’s like something falls into place. It is a balm to the pain, a calm to the unrest. At least that’s what I’ve found.

With Em last week and this week, she has struggled with the time change and has trouble finding sleep...until she asks me to snuggle with her. She’s out in less than 10 minutes. It is calming and soothing to be held, and I know that for my brainy, quirky, unique, brilliant babygirl, it helps to center her, feeds her need for unconditional acceptance and quiets her often chaotic thoughts. And for my whirling dervish that is Nate, it calms his effusive exuberance when it’s time to sleep and soothes his raging tempers; it takes away his pain. So confident is his belief that mommy’s kiss can cure anything, when he had that raging ear infection with blisters on his eardrum, his first thought was to try and get me to “tiss” it and make it stop hurting. Before any Band-Aid or ice-cube, it’s mommy’s hug and kiss he wants first to take the worst of the pain away.

So be free with your hugs, especially to your children. Even if they say they don’t want one, do it anyway. That one, simple touch, might just help cross a bridge you didn’t know was there. It lets them know that you care. And during their growing up years, that shapes so much of how they view the world. Make it a positive one.