What's in a movie?

“As you wish”... 

These words make my heart beat a little faster and make my mouth curl in a wistful grin. Those words are the epitome of a love that has lived in my mind ever since I first saw the movie “The Princess Pride”. And, once upon a time someone even said to me, “This is true love, do you think this happens every day?” 

No. It doesn’t. 

In 39 years I have truly been IN love only twice in my life. I was blessed to find it twice. Most people don’t even find it once and settle for less than everything. Never settle. I did twice again, with two other very wrong people. Because I was lonely. Because I thought I'd found someone who said all the right words and loved me. But it wasn't a love with God as the foundation of the relationship. I've learned the difference between the right kind of love, the kind as how God defines it and with Him as the foundation, and the wrong kind of love, "love" as the world defines it, without a solid foundation.

Someday I will hear “As you wish” and it will be said to me by MY kind of Westley. But until that day, I will settle for nothing less than the absolute BEST. That one man who is the Westley to my Buttercup. The Boaz to my Ruth. The King Solomon to my Queen of Sheba.  

Why do I love this movie? It has the kind of love that is built on purity and TRUE love...the way God defines and see it. Plus, it is just a terrifically FUN movie for all ages and has something for everyone...  

Westley: As you wish.  

Grandpa: [voiceover] "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.  

Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.  

Westley: As you wish.  

Grandpa: [voiceover] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

• Come my love I'll tell you a tale 

Of a boy and girl and their love story 

And how he loved her oh so much 

And all the charms she did possess 

Now this did happen once upon a time 

When things were not so complex 

How he worshipped the ground she walked 

And when he looked in her eyes he became obsessed. 

My love is like a storybook story 

But it's as real as the feelings I feel 

My love is like a storybook story 

But it's as real as the feelings I feel 

It's as real as the feelings I feel 

This love was stronger than the powers so dark 

A prince could have within his keeping 

His spells to weave and steal a heart 

Within her breast but only sleeping 

My love is like a storybook story 

But it's as real as the feelings I feel 

My love is like a storybook story 

But it's as real as the feelings I feel 

It's as real as the feelings I feel 

He said, "Don't you know I love you oh so much 

And lay my heart at the foot of your dress?" 

She said, "Don't you know that storybook loves 

Always have a happy ending?" 

Then he swooped her up just like in the books 

And on his stallion they rode away 

My love is like a storybook story 

But it's as real as the feelings I feel 

My love is like a storybook story 

But it's as real as the feelings I feel

Rock Bottom

Have you ever had God rock you to your core and strip you of everything you thought was good and start to rebuild your foundation more solidly? Absolute BEST thing ever!!!

Hard? Oh, yes. I won't lie. Hard and often painful. 

Worth it? Absolutely!!!

But we won't be able to stand firm without a solid foundation and once you hit rock bottom the only way to go is up. So if that's where you find yourself, start building from the bottom up!! When life knocks you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to start praying...

So much on my mind

So, I have a lot to pray about and think about and work toward. As some of y'all know, my work is getting so stressful to the point where I dread getting out of bed every morning. But, I am thankful to have a job, in this economy, and I am thankful to have benefits and great co-workers...it's just other factors in it that are stressing me to the max and the fact that I am not able to be there for my kids as I would like. But...again...I am so incredibly thankful to have a job right now when there are so many who I know that are struggling to find one, and my prayers are with them that God will provide richly for them.

I love my secondary job with AdvoCare that I do from home right now and hope to turn that into full time within the next year or so. This past weekend they had "Success School" that I was unable to attend this time but they had over 13,000 people attend. On Sunday there was an optional church service in the Ft. Worth convention center. You might think that only a handful would show up. No, I was told that it was completely filled to capacity and I saw the pictures, and it was. Many of the key leaders in this company are very strong and committed Christians, several are pastors or involved in their church in some pivotal way. My team in Texas is extremely involved in their respective churches. I love that! They have tickets for 20,000 for the next Success School in February...less than 500 are left. Tickets just went on sale Sunday.

Additionally, when I went "home" to Iowa and Minnesota this past week for a family reunion – first one in 19 years that didn't involve a funeral – not only did Emily and Nate love it, I also started to feel the tug of maybe that's where we belong. Emily loved the small towns and wants to live in the country where life is slower paced, people know each other and everyone is more "God oriented" – this coming from a 10 year old who's lived in the big city all her life...shocking, right?! She loved it so much so, and the chance to be around family on the farms and in the small towns, that she started getting stomach issues (she has a nervous stomach) when we started heading back to Texas. She wanted to stay there. In fact, she wants to live in Dave's parent's farm house and on their farm. LOL!

Dave's family very much wants me/us/the kids up there, as well as my cousins...the ones who live in the area...and there are MANY. I think that all of us would seriously thrive up there, but it's scary as all get out thinking about it, especially when I've never moved from Austin and have lived there all my life. Then there's my church that I so greatly love... Plus, Dave just moved down to Texas, yadda, yadda, etc. While he and I are no longer dating, we are each other's absolute best friends, we do everything together, and yes, we still love each other with all of our hearts, it's just that the timing isn't right...but I'm pretty sure that if I moved somewhere else, he would follow. 

It seems that the older I get, the more mature I become, both spiritually and in life, and the less I find I have in common with my group of friends and I've been drifting from them for a while now. I don't love them any less, I just have much less in common with them than I did a few years ago. There's less tying me to Austin than there's ever been. The only negative is that my mom probably wouldn't move with us up there. She says she loves to visit, but she doesn't want to always have to "be on someone else's schedule".

I just have so much to bring before God in prayer...so much. And I have to make sure that I truly LISTEN to what He tells me. Who knows, maybe we'll be gone *in the blink of an eye* before then, but right now, I know that I have to do something to work on being able to be a work from home mom. The kids need me and I need to be there for them. Maybe that is here in Austin for the long(er) haul.

I posted the following on FB yesterday. I wanted to post it here too. It seems, to me that the more I talk about it, the more accountability I have, the more I am determined to make it a reality.

I have dreams...BIG dreams...that I've been thinking a lot about on this last week's family vacation and I have some hard work and dedication up ahead to turn those dreams into reality, but it WILL happen...make no mistake. I have my VISION, my GOALS, my DETERMINATION and most importantly my WHY. The only thing standing in my way is me. Change my mindset and I change my path. I change my path and I change my destiny. I change my destiny and I change my legacy and that of my family. Challenge myself, my mind, my body. Challenge myself to change my life.

I want that destiny and legacy for myself and my family to be a Godly one full of promise, and I feel maybe I'm being called from Austin to elsewhere in order to accomplish that in full. I just don't know where, but it might be back "home" to Iowa, specifically. At least that's where I feel a tug but God will guide me, I just need to listen, and listen with an open mind and an open heart, which is the hardest for me to do, when I'm so "self sufficient" because I've had to be in order to take care of myself and my kids. I have the utmost trust and faith in God that He will provide for us, but it's hard for me to step out on that faith because I can't see where it leads. 

A great analogy from a phone call that I was on last night at 9:00 with the national team put it this way. There is a difference between a front flip on a trampoline and a back flip on a trampoline. The front flip is so much more difficult, but that's the one that most people do because they can see where they're going. It's stable and predictable...but incredibly hard to do. The back flip is exponentially easier to do, but so few try it because they can't see where they're going.

It's the same way in life. So many people do the same thing, day in, day out because it's stable and that's all they know and they can see where the stable, predictable life will lead, even though it is harder to trudge through a job they hate, or a life that is lacking...life. They do it anyway. If they stepped out on faith, with God's help, even though it is scarier because they can't see where they're headed, it actually is easier to do the unknown and put that hard work into it in order to reap the rewards that will come.

Even when I was in gymnastics and did springboard diving, I always went for the back flips. So I guess I already have that ingrained in me. LOL! One thing I do know...If you don't focus on building YOUR OWN dreams for you and your kids and family, you will always be hired to build someone else's dreams. 

Just have to step out and do it if it is where God leads me. There are a lot of obstacles in the way to get there, but if it's where God is leading, then He WILL provide the way. 

Giving it up vs OFFERING it up

So...

I am not Catholic, Lutheran or Methodist, but I do participate in Lent and it seems like I've been going about it all wrong, which is probably why my Lenten "sacrifices" never stuck. A lovely and very wise, former high school friend pointed this out to me this morning and it really FINALLY made sense to me.

I posted on my FB status that I am giving up a couple of things for the Lenten period and focusing on two main things. I spoke about how my hope is that giving those two things up for Lent would carry over to being every day changes in my life. (My mouth...I have issues with keeping it clean when I'm in traffic and/or dealing with idiot drivers, but I never, ever use profanity around my kids. And, I smoke every now and then. Ok, 2 cigs a day. One going to work and one leaving work. Don't smoke on the weekends.) I wrote of how cutting both of these out for 40 days should make a difference in various areas of my life for the better.

My lovely friend wrote the following:

"I saw it put so nicely on another page where a conversation was being held about Lent and the writer said, "join us sufferers". The person writing back stated, "Jesus suffered and died, so that we don't have to suffer." I thought that was well put. If God is speaking to you about something, listen to Him, pray and ask Him to help you stop whatever you are failing at. Don't have to "give it up" for Lent – OFFER it up instead. Such a great thing for us non-denominational Christians! Amazing GRACE!"

I never thought of it that way, but really, it makes SO MUCH SENSE! Instead of suceeding by trying to do this "on our own", so to speak by "giving" it up, we are, really, without relying on the Lord for help, learning that any plan is doomed to fail eventually when we go that route.

By OFFERING it up to the Lord, we are humbling ourselves with our issues and telling Him that we have no chance of doing it on our own. We are admitting that we NEED His help to get through whatever it is we are trying to get rid of in our lives and we are TRUSTING that He will do it, when we obey what it is that He wants us to do.

Really, the observation of Lent is about external rituals. God is after something much deeper than those external rituals. He wants our hearts. He wants our souls. He wants them completely. We should rejoice in the fact that we are 100% forgiven through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. We should be praying for guidance from the Lord about what are the stumbling blocks in our lives that are hindering our relationship with God and others. What is it He wants us to "give up" by offering it up to Him? Once He leads us to the things we need to work on ridding our lives of and we entrust the struggle to Him, often this leads to a healthier lifestyle, whether physically, mentally or other, and creates a less stressful life all the way around.

I know I have a LOT more than just those two things to work on and offer up and I believe with God's help and surrendering myself to His direction and offering those areas up to Him, that ultimately I will be successful and I have nobody to thank but God for the changes He is going to make in my life for the better.

Live and learn every day. I'm learning to do it for the RIGHT reasons.

In writing this, the wonderful hymn "Trust and Obey" was brought to my mind...I'd say it fits pretty perfectly!

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Refrain

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.

Refrain

Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.

Refrain

But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.

Refrain

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

Refrain

Hearts Are Breaking Across Texas Tonight

My very dear friend, Amberlyn Fett, has been facing an uphill battle, but we know Who holds the future. She is my beautiful friend, young and old at the age of 22. Full of life, but also has gone through so much in her short life. You see, Amberlyn has Cystic Fibrosis and saw far too many others with the same disease lose their battle with it at far younger ages. She is the recipient of a double lung transfer two years ago. Things were going great for her. New lease on life and all that.

Three months ago her lungs started showing signs of rejection. Just little spots here and there of infection. Intensive antibiotic therapy and meds and all sorts of stuff couldn’t take it away. But at least it didn’t get worse...then. Spending most of her time in the hospital the last three months was not where she wanted to be.

Last Thursday they let her out of the hospital and she was able to come home. Things were looking up, but then on Sunday she was rushed back into the hospital and put in ICU...unconscious. Her new, precious lungs had had enough and full rejection set in. Sadly she is not a candidate for another transplant due to the infection in her lungs that come from nowhere and didn’t respond to the meds and antibiotic therapies that they put her through.

They were going to take her off the ventilator this morning. We’ve not heard any word since then. A large group of us stopped and prayed wherever we were at 9 this morning for her, for her family and for her doctors. Patience is not my virtue. The waiting and not knowing is the hardest part. We're not sure if no news is good news and God has blessed her with a miracle or if no news means that our worst fears have come true and that they're just trying to cope with everything right now. I’ve been battling tears off and on this gorgeous day.

What really hurts is that she was hoping to go to the same concert I am going to next week Saturday. The concert of a mutual friend, same place where we met a few years ago and our friendship was born. Now, knowing that, unless God bestows a miracle to her, she will never have that chance again, it breaks my heart and each time I think about it, I start to tear up.

She has been such a fighter. So strong. So giving to the kids in her charity, Amber’s Angels.

We KNOW that God’s will is always done. We’ve been praying for a miracle for Amberlyn. We’ve also been praying that whatever God’s answer is for our prayers, that we are given the grace and the wisdom to accept the answer if it is “no” or “not yet”. Being only human we can’t help but be selfish and want her to stay with us, but the knowledge that the opposite means that she is finally at peace, out of pain, with no more struggles to breathe and in the full Glory of God helps to temper that pain that we feel and the possibility of her loss. The knowledge that death is not the end and we WILL see her again also gives a measure of comfort and peace. But we still can’t help but plead for that miracle.

You can learn more about what she’s been through by watching this video on her benefit site, My Breath of Life.


With all that is going on, it really brings home how fragile and fleeting life is. How we should never take the time we have with others for granted and how we should let those that we love know how much they matter to us. You never know when the last kiss, the last hug, the last "I love you" or the last laugh together will be. Never let the last words you say to someone you love be in anger. Those may be the last words you ever get to say to them. Always let those who are in your heart know that you love them. The most regrettable words are those that are left unspoken and never get a chance to be said.

Thinking about everything she is going through right now and what she has gone through, I got an idea for a song and in about 5 minutes, I had the lyrics to this song, not just for my Amberlyn, but for all of us who are going through the toughest times of their lives. Maybe some day I'll have the music to go with it...but in the meantime, here is Amberlyn's song from me to her and you.

We're praying for you, sweet girl, and we love you!

Hold Me Together

When the road of life
Becomes too much to bear
And I can’t seem to take my next step
When doubts come crashing down
And despair is all around
How I long to know You’re there
So even when I can’t feel You
When the only thing left to do is crumble

Chorus:

Lift me up
Hold me together
Wipe my tears away
Cradle me in Your embrace
Cause I don’t know how to go down this road
I face
So fill me with Your strength
Fill me with Your peace
Be with me always
Hold on to my hand
Abba
Father
Daddy
I’m Your child
Please hold me together

When all round me there is fear
And all I can feel is scared
When the pain is crushing me
When the future is unclear
And I don’t know here to turn
That’s when I need You to help me see

Lift me up
Hold me together
Wipe my tears away
Cradle me in Your embrace
Cause I don’t know how to go down this road
I face
So fill me with Your strength
Fill me with Your peace
Be with me always
Hold on to my hand
Abba
Father
Daddy
I’m Your child
Please hold me together

Though these changes in life are not what I had planned
I can know You are there
And I hold out my hand
To steady myself
In Your gentle embrace
To trust You once more
With the test of all I face

Lift me up
Hold me together
Wipe my tears away
Cradle me in Your embrace
Cause I don’t know how to go down this road
I face
So fill me with Your strength
Fill me with Your peace
Be with me always
Hold on to my hand
Abba
Father
Daddy
I’m Your child
Please hold me together

Just hold me together